BDSM Protocols, Do They Exist  

Stridder150 63M
6 posts
8/11/2006 12:32 pm

Last Read:
5/31/2008 3:16 pm

BDSM Protocols, Do They Exist


I was asked last night what the protocols for BDSM are or what they could be. I didn't have an answer as I don't have an answer as to what the protocols are for Boy Scouts, Girl Guides, Catholics, etc. I do however know they exist and as with any lifestyle if you choose, you do not have to live that lifestyle. And of course since I couldn't answer the question it was assumed that the protocols didn't exist. My question is then simple, what defines BDSM? For those of you that consider yourself a Dom, how do you know you are a Dom, what defines you? The same question goes to those that consider themselves a sub. What defines you as a sub, what makes you believe you are a sub? Within those answers is the answer to what protocols exist in the BDSM lifestyle. I've seen people call the BDSM lifestyle weird and yet still want to have a Dom or sub as a mate or partner. I personally am always learning about many different lifestyles. To many people condemn the BDSM lifestyle without knowing it or understanding it. Every lifestyle, every living thing has protocols, it has to so that it may exist. My intro line in my profile says "Knight of the Old Code". I believe in honour, trust, honesty, tolerance, and more, I believe that in the deepest recesses of my heart. I have watched as people are judged by the actions and voices of other people rather than their actions or their voices. I have gotten weary of discussions that simply go around in circles because people do not like the answers they get to questions. I am growing weary of deception and ridicule in a room that should be more about tolerance and acceptance. If you don't accept or respect the BDSM lifestyle why bother being in the room, why ridicule, deceive, or play on another. Hopefully I will add to this as the days go by....

rm_Melciber 61M
214 posts
8/11/2006 3:09 pm

Sound sense

Thanks Stridder, always good to read sound sense.


Master__S 46M

8/11/2006 11:07 pm

First I think its best to define what a protocol is - "a rule that defines how a certain activity is performed." Do certain people have certain protocols in their relationship - yes. Are there universal protocols or rules in bdsm that everyone follows - no. If you are trying to say that I don't practice bdsm properly or respectfully because I don't follow the same rules that you follow, you are guilty of one-way-truism, and what works for you doesn't necessarily work for me.

As for what defines me as a dom - it isn't rules or regulations or protocols, it is the fact that I am dominant. Deep down where I growl and act without thinking. It isn't theoretical, but is an essence of my being...


46hot4u 54F

4/27/2008 3:30 pm

As a woman let me put my two cents in. A Dom is a man who when he plays is in control of himself. Who listens and hears what his sub says to him. A person who knows the differnce between when you are playing and doing a sript and when you are not. Who hears the yes and no of the partner they are witn not someone who forgets that. It is always a question of trust and feeling safe with the Dom. A true Dom knows this may not happen the 1st or even 3rd time unless their is trust from the sub to them. As the sub is giving you their power to you and trusting that you will hear them when they say their safe word etc... A true Dom does not force or take without consent from the partner. By the way their are rules for the protection of both partners and they are there for a reason.


MsLadyMistress 58F

10/20/2008 10:29 am

I'll be watching this post Stridder.

MsLadyMIstress - Better known as "MLM"

"Life isn't about the beginning or the ending, its about the journey that gets you from one to the other."


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