StretchTight8 51M
0 posts
7/17/2005 6:25 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm


When reading all of the profiles on this websites or any other website like this one, all of them have common phases and/or wants!


1. No Drama
2. Looking for Honesty and Love
3. Looking for Mr. Right or someone to be
true to me.

I think we all get the point. If there was so many of us not wanting drama, why is there so much of it? If there was so many of us wanting honesty, why is there so little of it? I know, I feel like I am to being redundant. Preaching to the choir. I am not saying something that we all probably not all read or heard.

Well... The attached picture is my partner Craig. He was my partner for 12 years. He passed away last year. July 18 will be one year exactly. (NO HE DID NOT DIE FROM AIDS... GOD.. OF ALL PEOPLE.. GAY MEN IMMEDIATLEY THINK AND ASK "HE DYE FROM AIDS".) He died with me holding him in my arms. My LOVE.. My everything.. dyeing in my arms and I could not do anything to help. The pain and the hurt was undescribalbe. He meant everything to me. He was my all. See... I grew up with abusive parents. I know.. alot of us did. My Mother actually told me she could careless if she had anything to do with me. Craig was my family. To use an cliche "HE COMPLETED ME".

He had a massive heart attack. No he was not over weight. He weighted all of 135 lbs wet. He had it while he was asleep. He was on life support for a week. Doctors said when it occurred that he was without O2 for so long that he was brain dead when it occurred. I will never forget that moment. Me holding him not knowing what was happening. Asking him "Baby what is wrong.. What are you doing.. Baby...." and he looked me in the eyes and froze still. I was the last thing he saw in this world.

His parents did not let me see him the last two days in the hospital.. They said it was just for immediate family. I was his family for 12 years. I supported him and gave him everything of my and my life. He once told me that he loved me so much because he knew that I loved him just as much and that he knew I would go to hell and back for him.

So, now I am 39 (will be turning 40 in Oct) and single. God, the last thing I wanted in life was to be single again. I don't know if straight people are like Gay people.. but, I actually feel Gay People don't want love.. Or is it that they don't know love.. "I throw my hands up.. I don't know what it is.... I do know that thinking with the organ between the legs takes more responding to than the organ in the chest. "The Grass in the Other Guy's Ass is not Greener."

So, upon it being the first year of my life without my partner.. God.. I shared my whole being with him. We knew what the other one was thinking. We could cook dinner together and help each other with out even speaking a word. We could not sleep over at other peoples house without the other one. We always went to sleep holding the other one.. Most of the time, him sliding up against me with my leg lying across his opposite leg. (my left over his right). I want people (Gay Men) to know that we can and do love. It seems to be very, very rare.. But we do.. The main ingredient is: WE BOTH WANTED IT. WE BOTH WORKED AT IT. I guess a large majority just don't want it. But wait.. I read all the profiles stating that they do want love. WELL THEN WHY IS IT THROWN AWAY ALL THE TIME? I know.. I am preaching to the choir. Nothing not all ready heard or read. NO NEW REVELATION HERE.. And I know some smart ass QUEEN is going to get on here and be a bitch and critize the hell out of me. Well F*$K Y&U!

Another thing.. all you people that are cutting yourselves short not talking to us guys that are over 30... YOU HAVE NO CLUE OF WHAT YOUR MISSING! You just might be missing out on meeting your soul mate.. The love of this life.

Craig was 18 one month later turned 19 and I was 26 when him and I met. No.. It was not always happy go lucky.. but we did have each other. We had someone in our life that loved each other.

Take Care All and Know Some One is Out there that can LOVE YOU!

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