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Not feelling the love
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Jan 27, 2012 10:31 pm
315 Views
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OK, so right now I am a bit like the foster child that only good of labor and a tax write off. I am in constant ah wonder on how I am the one that never hear things right.Yet I can't hear things wrong all the time.
How do you tell the people they are wrong. as they never seem to listen. It is crazy, don't get my wrong, I know I am to blame for things as well, but there is enough blame to go around and I DON'T have to take all.
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Path and trails
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Jan 24, 2012 2:21 pm
289 Views
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I walk a path, a trail well-worn. It brings me back to you, and in this I feel warm. My heart is like air. A time has come and brings darkness, cold and hard but I fear it not; I have the light.
The light is a brilliant star that cuts the shadows.
The light is a sun that warms my form.
The light is a shield that blocks the fear.
On my path I feel your eyes; you watch me and count my steps, time my pace. My eyes are clear, my ears hear you. You count the the beats and breaths. I suffocate, choked by the very air that brings me freedom. I fear it not; I have air.
1 breath of life, with a whisper I rise.
2 breaths of life, a kiss and my pace matches the wind.
3 breaths of life, a word on the wind calls my soul.
Raven-swathed, fear slips, giving way to the true heart, true spirit. In the darkness I have made my home, built on fading shadows and distant dreams. This darkness is fake. Self-imposed to save my soul, now it is my prison. Your voice, your voice reaches out and cradles me.
"Awaken my Black Knight." My eyes open.
"Awaken my Brown Bear." I rise to stand.
"Awaken my Magical One." I stretch to feel the sun.
"Awaken my Brother." This is hard, I feel weak.
"Now is your time son."
Mom, is that you?
"Yes. Let them help you; you have fought so hard and life has been so hard for you. It is time for you, time for you to been the man I... they all see."
I am scared.
"Of what? What do you have to be scared of? How can there be fear when there is so much love around you?"
I don't know brother
"Time to fly, my angel. It is hard to see, but it is time to fly. The sky called to you."
I will try.
"Can you hear them son, they are calling. Go and have fun. Be the I man I wanted... the man you want to be."
I want to.
"Then do it son."
"Then do it honey."
"Then do it bro'."
I walk a trail, a well-worn path. The fear is there, but I control it. Fear is but a tool now. The path is worn, but the sky is clear. That will be my new path.
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So up date
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Jan 23, 2012 7:38 pm
305 Views
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As some may know I am joined a Kung fu School. The man teaching his from my home town and even hung some of the same hoods I grow up in. The class has be a HUGE help in my weight loss and Is filled with some good people I like to call friends. if I can ever make to a good weight I will have the school to thank for it.
Work has been the best the sched looks like a drunken fool with a bad sense of humor put together, and one the other mangers has to neglect her job to do their. If were not for the people I worked with I would have to find another job.
In I week I will be testing(again) for my second belt. I am not sure it I care if I get or not. I mean it would be cool to get, but I care more about continuing my learning. I all can do is my best.
So this past week I was sick and on day I felt worst I went in anyway. NEVER AGAIN!!! T was a bone head move with no return...Kinda like a con I went to. I leaned the day is a costumer want to be a bitch they will be no matter what.
I lucked out and got a 3 day weekend. so had class in the morning them was free for the rest of the day. I still have no car/license (my fault), so while I want to go out there was not much I could do. It would be nice that is someone poke their head in and say hey toy want to go out. meh
I will say the it kinds suck the I can't talk to people about this being seen in a neg light.
I am not whiner, puss, easily offended, that guy, drama queen, or woman. I am getting sick hearing these even jest.
rant over.
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Sex, it's not just for "Bad Boys" anymore.
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Jan 23, 2012 7:35 pm
297 Views
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OK now know I have blathered about this before, but I guess I am trying to figure out things.
I my drive is kinda hi and I am sure if that is just cause I am not getting any right now but I am horny a lot. OK this not part I am trying to figure out, I know this.
The part that get me is I am told how attractive I am, and this women, so have even said (no clue how they got this) sexy or hot. It seems that is goes back to seeming bain or my existence BEING NICE. I am not getting to a point of FOR FUCK SAKE I AM SORRY BUT I AM GET THE FUCK OVER IT AND DO ME. It kill me cause most of the time no one want to be up from with on this. One female who had a open relationship with man tell YEARS later and AFTER that close thing off. Tell me, yeah yeah she was and is into and wanted me. The was in her words is she "did wan to hurt me" and "me like me wear our heart on our sleeve". FOR THE LOVE OF!!!
The first woman I was 'with' I have met at a con it was 2 or 3 hour of fun for me and she seemed to have fun too. since we have met again at cons, and she was dating someone(bf) and now has a second (gf) so I back off I am not going to step on toes (DAMNIT MAMA RAISE RIGHT!). I have come to find out that my backing off was that I was jealous and maybe hurt. No I was going to french you in front your man or woman. Nor am I going to just start felling you and public places so as that get back to them. I don't know the dynamic of your '3some' so why would I cause problem.
So I have figured that I am Poloyamorous (look it up)and found and another she poloy and hubby knows. Thing is we flirted for years (see each other at conventions) and the truth is she never told she was poloy. And at the time I was digging on her, and she kept telling my that she could not go any feather cause of hubby. OK, I was happy with the flirting. But them a something happen and hooked friend and stuff. after that hints were droped and I what happend that night. anyway long story short (to later) she was never the one that told me she was poloy.
Then there was the female friend that was leaving here hubby and she stated intent SWEET cause she very hot milf. A lot talking happen the weekend not much else. OK not a problem. "Hey we are working on it". Um...not much else can say.
Some time I feel like people will not tell me things cause I might react like innocent or might be ashamed of them. Lot of them would say it none of my business. OK I take that but is not any my business then don't tell me down the rode how you are into me. Cause all that time you spent with me not in your business, we could have been having fun . NICE GUYS LIKE TO GET LAID FOR THE HELL OF IT TOO.
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Hero's Rage
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Jan 23, 2012 7:32 pm
304 Views
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[This is what goes through my head when I need to push my self.]
Time to stop the bullshit, I am done with that. Fire up the forge I need to go back in. Old flaws have cause cracks in my armor and my weaken my weapons. My wings will no longer open, OH HELLS NAH! Mom gave me those. I got to much power to be so weak. To many Demons on the path to far to walk.turning to face rode JUST THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!
Walk as a friend, then you walk with fighters, healers, holy ones of the highest order, and user of the the most powerful spells that bend the very energies and forces of the all things their will. Walk as my foe and be trample into the oblivion. scattered like you cosmic dust, to be reused as my will sees fit.
If you think that moving beyond the Vail will save you, HA HA HA HA, PUNK! Meet thee BADDEST of BADASS group of Guardians that have crossed over and their ranks only gotten stronger.
Remember, breath in air/energy, exhale power/force. where the mind goes Qi will follow. Now if you excuse me I going to go be awesome!.
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up
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Jan 23, 2012 7:30 pm
292 Views
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In the morning i wake, hang my feet over the side of the bed and stand up. To turn on the light in my room i reach. Make and drink my tea so I can stay up. go to bathroom so I can wash up. Dry off so I can dress up. head to stair and walk up. make a meal and eat up. Quick pace to the bus stop I try to keep up. While the mp3 I turn up. While the musics play, stories and art I dream up. Look at the time and I hurry up. I meet bus, doors open and step up. Take a moment on the bus and my brother I call up, to see what up. My cell phone I hang up, while to my place of work I walk up.
Many of us start the day up. We all should try to stay up.
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Angel Spawn
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Jan 23, 2012 7:29 pm
267 Views
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Birth by angels, I craw out of hell. Back on my feet with stories to tell. Spawn of darkness I am clad in the light, forces in hand the elements unite. Grounded by earth, I bend like wood. Flowing like water my path understood. Wind fans the fires that forge me as steel. My spiritual gravity true power reveled. So call me spawn if you feel that you must. But this hero spawned leave his opponents as dust.
VANGLORIOUS!
My soul ignites, and light the spark. The spark becomes, the heart, the core of the flame. The flame burns my mind, to clear glass lens. The lens focuses the light into beam that split the night. The night is a light like the center of the sun. The rays arc and strike my soul. My soul ignites.
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Angel Spawn
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Jan 23, 2012 7:27 pm
267 Views
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Birth by angels, I craw out of hell. Back on my feet with stories to tell. Spawn of darkness I am clad in the light, forces in hand the elements unite. Grounded by earth, I bend like wood. Flowing like water my path understood. Wind fans the fires that forge me as steel. My spiritual gravity true power reveled. So call me spawn if you feel that you must. But this hero spawned leave his opponents as dust.
VANGLORIOUS!
My soul ignites, and light the spark. The spark becomes, the heart, the core of the flame. The flame burns my mind, to clear glass lens. The lens focuses the light into beam that split the night. The night is a light like the center of the sun. The rays arc and strike my soul. My soul ignites.
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Modest at best
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Jan 23, 2012 7:26 pm
273 Views
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My art is modest at best but a skill none the less, it is all I have to give so I give with all my heart. To those I love, from finish to start I "Labor" in love. With the soul of my mother and the hands of my brother I "labor" with love. In this world I have nothing but flesh and bone, blood and sweat and with these I "labor' for love. BLACK KNIGHT, URSO PARDO, MAGICAL BLACK MAN, name given to me, but in the mirror all I see is a chubby art monkey blessed with one more day. So I draw, write, tell stories, it is all I have to give So I give with all my HEART.
Signed
The Black Knight,
Urao Pardo
Magical Black Man
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I am
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Jan 23, 2012 7:24 pm
275 Views
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Written for a hero.
I am
An angel eyes of my mother.
A beast of light, raging in the sun.
The leg up, the hand to hold
the back to carry, the ear to listen
A shoulder to lean on.
Monk, Fighter, warrior, artist,
child, healer, dreamer, Story teller
lost soul on the a path that shift and fade
Wanna be hero, just look at my name.
a blessed recipient of the love my friends
a blessed in the bed of a lover
To a friend, an aide, companion, ally, biggest fan.
To a enemy, END GAME.
I AM me .
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