How TRAV made his great escape....  

Sorceror07 54M
6063 posts
3/25/2006 5:44 am

Last Read:
8/1/2007 12:13 pm

How TRAV made his great escape....

The misadventures of TravelinginTexas and Sorceror07

Prologue

TravelinginTexas is arrested and brought cuffed and stuffed to the Blogland county lockup, processed, de-loused, given a deep body cavity search, a shower-bath with a fire hose and thrown into a cell with a large toothless guy named Buck… Buck Naked.

Upon hearing the news that his long lost younger twin brother by way of his long lost twin sister sister_act_4_you *long story, just go along for now lol! …suffice to say it’s a hell of a family tree!) …. Sorceror07 starts planning the great escape…

Start of action:

Sorceror07 “borrows” a bright yellow mazeratti countache and visits the Texas National Guard Armory for “appropriations”, he takes a shopping cart and strolls in the front door, says “hello” to the post guards, flashes them a fake ID with a plastic cracker jack shield badge identifying him as one Studebaker Hawke, and continues along his way to the weapons room… He helps himself to a Ruger Mini-14, an Automate semi-automatic canister fed 12 gauge shotgun made in South Africa, a case of fragmentation hand grenades, 6 smoke grenades, 2 claymores, 10 one pound bricks of C-4 explosive with remote operated electronic detonators and mercury switches, a 44 Automag (Dirty Harry swears by them), 3 laws rockets, 5 stinger missiles, night vision goggles, plenty of extra ammo, a Swiss army knife, a roll of kaiser boiler foil and a bottle of maple syrup.

Heading back to his car he asks the guards to help him load it, which they cheerfully do. Thanking them, he starts the mazerati and tears on down the road towards his date with destiny….

He parks the “borrowed” mazerati in the jail’s parking lot… taking the warden’s slot, stuffs the automag in the back of his jeans, takes 4 pounds of C-4 and walks casually to the cell block wall… “hmmmm,” he wonders…. “where is TravelinginTexas ‘s cell?” walking down wall he soon gets his answer… he hears the sound of anguished squealing and the voice of Buck saying…”who’s TAGGING who now? Blog boy!”. Looking through the bars in the window, Sorceror07 sees a very unhappy TravelinginTexas in a compromising position. “Ned? Ned Beatty? Is that you?” Sorce laughs… “Take cover, Trav… INCOMING!”. And he sets the explosives, all 4 pounds of it, walks back to the car, arms the remote, flips the safety switch, and hits the red button and BOOM! My what a lovely mushroom cloud!

Sputtering, coughing, swearing and dusting himself off, TravelinginTexas arrives at Sorceror07’s getaway car.

“hey, I think you blew up half the Blogland Jail!” says Trav,
“I guess that was a bit much on the C-4, eh bro?” replies Sorce. “Lets get the hell out of here, Trav… before Deputy Dawg finds out you’ve escaped.”

Getting into the car, Trav musses “ hey! What did you do with the Blog-mobile?”
Sorce answers, “I traded it for a microphone.”
“oh, ..really!” Trav retorts as he throws the cigarette lighter out the window.

And to the sounds of sirens wailing, dogs barking and the din of mass confusion, Sorce revs up the mazerati and peals out of the jail’s parking lot, burning rubber, laying down donuts on the pavement and chirping the tires through all 6 gears. White knuckled on the dashboard, Trav stutters, “Dude! Ok, it will do… fix the cigarette lighter though.”

They pull into the parking lot of Blogville Town Hall. “what the hell are we doing here, Sorce?!!” “we have a bit of work to do before we make good our escape” Sorce snickers. “Trav, see that horse over there?” pointing at a nearby stable owned by the County Judge fantasylover_05…Trav nods nervously, “Bring it up to the Mayor’s office, and shoot it with this.” Handing the automag to Trav. “oooooh! This is going to be GREAT!” Trav cackles impishly, “What are you going to do Sorce?”

“I’m going to hit the records office and torch all the mortgage notes.”

“oh!! NICE!”

And they run off to do their dirty work… meeting back at the car in a few minutes… the fire alarms blaring and smoke billowing from the once magnificent structure…

”You know, Sorce… tillerbabe isn’t going to like this.”
“yes she will” Sorce replies, “Trust me” he finishes off with a crooked devilish grin. “We need new transportation now…” Sorce says as he lays down rubber out of the parking lot.
"why's that?"
"because you tracked horseshit inside the car."

Within a few minutes driving he spots his next vehicle… a beautiful Lotus Esprit in British racing green parked in front of a very nice Arkansas style house.

“Sorce! That’s bardicman’s ride!!”
“Yeah! Hehe! I know!” Sorce laughs wickedly.
“take the weapons and DON’T DROP my stingers!”

while Sorce deactivates the car’s alarm, dismantles the steering wheel lock and hotwires the lotus while Trav does the hard work. The engine roars to life and Sorce jumps the curb onto bardicman’s front lawn doing 360’s and tearing up the grass and landscaping!

“Sorce! What the fuck are you doing!?”
laughing Sorce replies, “marking territory, look…”

Trav sees what Sorce has done to Bard’s lawn… it reads Trav runs Bloggytown! Bust the deal and face the wheel! Pointing to some debris Trav says, “dude, you lost the back bumper when you sideswiped that tree, the one you knocked down.” Sorce gives Trav a look of serious shock and says, “Ooooopsie!” in a voice of mocking innocence. “ I guess they don’t make them like they used to!” The sounds of uproarious laughter is drowned out by the engine noise as Sorce over revs the engine and kicks it up to 110 mph down residential streets of Blogville.

“You know… our mother mzhunyhole is PISSED at you, Trav.” He looks quizzicaly at Sorce making that statement “What did -I- do?” he replied innocently… “DUDE!” Sorce exclaims, “you tagged, and/or caused to be tagged every ass in Blogworld! …and your post string also caused a server meltdown at the A.FF Mainframe. Bro! They are calling for the death penalty! … you know I’m very proud of my long lost little twin brother.” Sorce beams.

“uhhh… what do you mean by that?”
“didn’t sister_act_4_you your twin sister ever tell you?”
“tell me what?”
“you non-blog reading comment whore! You didn’t read her post 100 things about her when her blog turned 100!!!”
“ummmm…”

Sorce reaches over and stooge slaps Trav’s head. “ouch!”

“we were quintuplets… sis1, sis2, you and me… I was given up because I’m the whiskey drinking, cigar chewing, black sheep of the family and was raised by the heavy metal band, Motley Crue.”

“Ohh… ok that explains much.”

“yep… it does, now… we have some trouble to deal with.”

Trav looks up and sees the roadblock up ahead… “HOLY SHIT!!!”

“fasten your seatbelt, bro!” Sorce grins as he guns the motor, downshifting into 4th and cuts the wheel hard left to avoid hitting the barricades and squad cars, scattering the boys in blue in all directions… catching a glimpse of princesskarma,

Trav says, “hey! Wasn’t that…”
“yes.”
“what’s she doing here?”
“she seems a tad irate at you, Trav…. Why is that?”
“ummm… I guess she still hasn’t forgiven me…”
“for what?”

Trav fidgets uncomfortably…

“for WHAT!?” Sorce repeats.

“ummm, ….cyber-baby.”
“…oh no!” says Sorce adding with a sly grin, sticking an elbow into Trav’s ribs, “You DOG!!” Trav grins back like a Cheshire cat. “well Trav, we got company…. Look.”

Behind the fleeing lotus was an angry posse of black and white Blogville squad cars… all of them in fact, and 2 helicopters as well… following the racing lotus at breakneck speeds down the streets of the city toward the highway.

“Trav…”
“yeah?”
“get the stingers and paint that first chopper”
“oh yeah!” Trav said gleefully as he set up the pre-launch sequence on the missile. He then popped off the passenger side “T” top off the lotus tossing it in a high arc… it hit the leading squad car square in the windshield. “boooyah!!!” he shouted as the squad car veered into the one closest to it, which set off a chain reaction domino affect taking out all the pursuing police cars.

“hey man, nice shot.”
“thanks, isn’t that one of your…”
“obscure lyrical quotes? Yes…”
“I don’t remember that one.”
“I posted it on ALT”
“Ahhh… “
“shoot that lead chopper down already, you slacker!”

Gritting his teeth, Trav stood up… and taking aim with the missile system painted the chopper with the laser, squeezed the fire trigger and …WHOOOSH! The heat seeking stinger missile made a beeline directly for the chopper’s exhaust… hitting the tail of the chopper with a resounding WHUMP! The chopper went down slowly in a barely controlled descent, the pilot fighting the controls and somehow managing to crash land into sewage processing tank.

“ohhh! That’s nnnnnnnnnnnasty!”
“sucks to be him, Trav lol!”

the other chopper broke off the chase… leaving our two anti-heros to go merrily on their way, making their escape and causing mayhem and havoc in their wake…

…to be continued!


...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


rm_metalmama69 42F
3878 posts
3/25/2006 6:40 am

~ I wish there was a smiley that was pissing her pants laughing!! ~


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 6:52 am

    Quoting rm_metalmama69:
    ~ I wish there was a smiley that was pissing her pants laughing!! ~
hehe! and we're on our way up to you too! ...be ready!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
3/25/2006 6:55 am

Holy batflaps Grandma.


libgemOH 56M/52F

3/25/2006 7:11 am

I'm not sure which one of us has too much time on their hands, you for writing this or me for reading it! ROFLMFAO! -B


ticktock500 43M

3/25/2006 7:26 am

thanks for not running over my bike man.


Kaliedascope61 41M
4084 posts
3/25/2006 7:47 am

Oh good lawd man! Glad it was continued so I could get some air in my lungs before I died.

And to think I just came here to taint your blog by singing something by Hall & Oates!

I'll do that next time


Sister_Act_4_You 37F/37F

3/25/2006 8:02 am

Oh this is magnificent!!

And I just know we are blood related....the pure love of beautiful cars!

::: happy sigh :::


MrNuttz05 49M

3/25/2006 8:17 am

You, my friend, are a classic... Very entertaining, next time I will bring the popcorn(no butter!)(lol)


NSAAddict 42F

3/25/2006 8:56 am

LMAO Sorceror, well done! Can't wait to see what you two do next...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:39 am

you don't sayyyyyyyyyy......

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:40 am

    Quoting libgemOH:
    I'm not sure which one of us has too much time on their hands, you for writing this or me for reading it! ROFLMFAO! -B
i'm just happy you posted!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:42 am

    Quoting ticktock500:
    thanks for not running over my bike man.

we haven't gotten to your neck of the woods yet.... keep that bike in the shed or it's up for grabs! ...i think we'll be running out of exotic sports cars to steal sometime heheh!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:44 am

    Quoting Kaliedascope61:
    Oh good lawd man! Glad it was continued so I could get some air in my lungs before I died.

    And to think I just came here to taint your blog by singing something by Hall & Oates!

    I'll do that next time
hall and oates eh? ...hmmmm... dammit! i KNEW i would have kept going!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:45 am

    Quoting Sister_Act_4_You:
    Oh this is magnificent!!

    And I just know we are blood related....the pure love of beautiful cars!

    ::: happy sigh :::
i'll make sure we've stolen a nice fresh exotic when we get around to visiting with you then ....cali? or MD? lol!!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:48 am

    Quoting MrNuttz05:
    You, my friend, are a classic... Very entertaining, next time I will bring the popcorn(no butter!)(lol)
thank you for viewing Messterpiece Theatre, where butter on your popcorn is.... er...a... questionable at best! well, pee wee herman IS the soda jerk so....

hey, you in AZ yet? or still in D?

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:50 am

    Quoting NSAAddict:
    LMAO Sorceror, well done! Can't wait to see what you two do next...
hehe! well, i'm sure you know where we'll wind up in the end ....until then, the world is our playground! ...and we fully intend to kick the sand OUT of the sandbox before it's over!!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


3noangels 58G

3/25/2006 12:30 pm

Hey you realize we are now out 20 Lincons!!! And on top of that, we have loads of Le-Gal expenses too...
Maybe we can get champgne and NSA to kick it to cover things, through the Foundation.. You being the Doc and alll...


HBowt2 58F

3/25/2006 4:05 pm

For some reason super heroes in tights and capes came to mind while I was reading this.....


Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
3/25/2006 4:47 pm

ROFLMAO - This is excellent!!! Laughe3d so hard I cracked a rib!!!

Whisper...


deliciousngood 64F
1665 posts
3/25/2006 5:50 pm

note to self:

mental image to delete:

Trav & Sorc in tights!!!


Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
3/25/2006 7:01 pm

Please make sure to vote for the Warden of Punishment for Blogville - See post = [post 284927]

Thanks - Whisper...


tillerbabe 55F

3/25/2006 7:32 pm

I hope yer paying me overtime for this..YOU PYRO!


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 8:23 pm

    Quoting 3noangels:
    Hey you realize we are now out 20 Lincons!!! And on top of that, we have loads of Le-Gal expenses too...
    Maybe we can get champgne and NSA to kick it to cover things, through the Foundation.. You being the Doc and alll...
oh, the foundation has nothing to do with my outside activities, of which there are many the foundation hired me for my expertise on the job in which they've intrusted me. besides... the cost is going to go up so high that even the bean counters won't be able to add it all up!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 8:35 pm

    Quoting travelingintexas:
    HAHAHAHA Brilliant! Absolutly brilliant...

    Wheres my cig lighter? SHIT!

    MOM!!!!!!

    My ass hurts.... can we stop and get some band aids? By the way, when we stop and pick up Saint, can she put my band aids on for me?

well, i quit smoking so i don't care about a car lighter... that and we traded in the mazerati that you tracked horse shit into for bard's lotus... (i won't say here what happens to it though! i use a bic lighter for setting flame to other things

we're not headed in saint's direction yet though... eventually we will.

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 8:41 pm

    Quoting travelingintexas:
    HAHAHAHA Brilliant! Absolutly brilliant...

    Wheres my cig lighter? SHIT!

    MOM!!!!!!

    My ass hurts.... can we stop and get some band aids? By the way, when we stop and pick up Saint, can she put my band aids on for me?

well, i look at it this way... any man that possesses the ability to TAG every blogger's ass (be it directly or indirectly) is someone to hang with

not headed northwest yet... seattle to deliver a very special item to a peer who holds my utmost respect as being the best in the business, by way of Missouri to take care of our impending legal needs, and then nebraska to crush a bicycle

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 8:57 pm

    Quoting rm_mzhunyhole:
    Don't ya drag my other daughter into this..Lianna..stay home...boys...you're breaking your mamas heart..Trav..I'm whooping your ass!!!!
don't worry, i won't let trav get "TOO" out of control ...lol! yeah right! ... and it's ok, i know you didn't forsake me, it was father... he knew there could only be one dominant alpha male in the house, and he was it so i had to go (plus he really hated when i raided his beer fridge, liquor cabinet and humidor at the age of 2)... i'd have done the same in his position. good thing he did or you'd have definitely had your hands full!

we'll leave saint out of this... for now lol! and yes, he definitely needs an ass whoopin... i'll make sure to get him to you in one piece for you to deliver it to him

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:01 pm

thanks mzhuny! it's been a blast writing it too, and i have at least 3 or 4 more chapters, and if i don't burn out on it... i could make an epic 50 posts on this alone...

it would be Trav's Epic Escape From the Tyrany of a Corporate/Military Psudo-Facist System cleverly disguised as a Republic and calling itself a Democracy!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 9:02 pm

    Quoting HBowt2:
    For some reason super heroes in tights and capes came to mind while I was reading this.....
oh! lol! ...read number 2 in the epic and you'll see one of us in a costume alright!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 10:09 pm

    Quoting Whispersoftly5:
    ROFLMAO - This is excellent!!! Laughe3d so hard I cracked a rib!!!

    Whisper...
i'm glad you enjoyed it... there's more to come too

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 10:20 pm

    Quoting deliciousngood:
    note to self:

    mental image to delete:

    Trav & Sorc in tights!!!
can't blame you, i wouldn't want to see trav in tights either! ...now me on the other hand, hmmmm... i don't think he'd want to see me in tights either! lol!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 10:25 pm

    Quoting kittenkisses24:
    very funny sorce. long, but very funny. can't wait to read the next installment.
it's posted, been in backlog for hours waiting to pop up

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 10:27 pm

    Quoting Whispersoftly5:
    Please make sure to vote for the Warden of Punishment for Blogville - See post = [post 284927]

    Thanks - Whisper...
i will once it pops up thanks!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 10:31 pm

    Quoting tillerbabe:
    I hope yer paying me overtime for this..YOU PYRO!
*snickers* oh c'mon... you know you love it! ..and there's MUCH more to come too! ...turns out that Trav is a good shot leaves me to do what i do best...blow things up!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/25/2006 10:37 pm

    Quoting travelingintexas:
    We just mooned the judges place....... this rocks.... damnit! I am out of cigs and twinkies dude....
hell, mooned the judges place? you just shot his horse in the mayor's office while i set fire to the building, after blowing up half the jail!!

all in a day's work

second chapter is in blog pergatory, waiting to pop... you'll get your twinkies when we absolutely HAVE to stop! lol

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


LadytoPleaseYou 64F
5447 posts
3/25/2006 10:56 pm

I ALWAYS love a good chase scene...

PENIS CHARMING....where are you?


TabithaElectra79 37F

3/26/2006 2:36 am

I love anti-heros!


ArealUnicorn 44F

3/26/2006 4:10 am

oh like he needed told what he did...you actually believe him Sorceror....there is way to much evidence...he's gonna get it and now you are tooo....*laugh's in an evil disturbed way brought on by the emotional distress at being tagged and revealing way to much about herself...*


Sorceror07 54M

3/26/2006 11:44 am

but wait! there's more!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/26/2006 11:44 am

we're yo huckleberries

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/26/2006 11:46 am

    Quoting ArealUnicorn:
    oh like he needed told what he did...you actually believe him Sorceror....there is way to much evidence...he's gonna get it and now you are tooo....*laugh's in an evil disturbed way brought on by the emotional distress at being tagged and revealing way to much about herself...*
this isn't about evidence... it's about chaos!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


ArealUnicorn 44F

3/26/2006 4:20 pm

and chaos we have....out of cigs and twinkies all at the same time...damn...you could escape to Canada where we don't believe in captial punishment but the smokes are about 10$ a pack and gas is 4$ a gallon...so freedom or cheap cigs/twinkies/gas your choice...Sorceror and Trav...

BTW if you come to Canada I will be donning the RCMP garb and hunt Trav down....he owes me a few things...


Sorceror07 54M

3/27/2006 6:40 am

    Quoting ArealUnicorn:
    and chaos we have....out of cigs and twinkies all at the same time...damn...you could escape to Canada where we don't believe in captial punishment but the smokes are about 10$ a pack and gas is 4$ a gallon...so freedom or cheap cigs/twinkies/gas your choice...Sorceror and Trav...

    BTW if you come to Canada I will be donning the RCMP garb and hunt Trav down....he owes me a few things...
he owes ya ey? ...well, you know what they say about "payback" lol!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


TTigerAtty 62M

3/27/2006 10:15 am

Run, you bastards, run! There's no fuckin' way I can possibly defend you on all these charges! Head to Mexico! We've takin' a lot of their illegals here, so I figure they'll take at least two of ours! I'll put in a call to W. and ask him to contact El Presidente Vincente Fox of Mexico and ask him to smooth the way for you guys!


Sorceror07 54M

3/27/2006 12:05 pm

    Quoting TTigerAtty:
    Run, you bastards, run! There's no fuckin' way I can possibly defend you on all these charges! Head to Mexico! We've takin' a lot of their illegals here, so I figure they'll take at least two of ours! I'll put in a call to W. and ask him to contact El Presidente Vincente Fox of Mexico and ask him to smooth the way for you guys!
sounds like a plan, amigo! ...just need to tie up some loose ends first

tieing up loose ends hehehe! bdsm humor! gotta love it eh?

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


QUEENBEEV 51F  
4204 posts
3/27/2006 7:30 pm

you guys are amazing!! This is some funny shit!! By the way...we got lots of places to hide in WV...you dont mind a little banjo picking or squealing like a pig do you??? Im sure the tights would go over real well in the backwoods...keep us posted...smooches ya'll...QueenB

Come on over...let's play in my Castle! The hide and seek is awesome!

RATE...YOURSELF!!


EyeCandy33333 44F
761 posts
3/27/2006 9:07 pm

W's still busy looking at that ear of corn Trav gave him!


sealbeater 50M

3/28/2006 12:53 am

lol!!! A fun read. Warning my buds to keep their Exotic cars and ... custom bikes tucked away, before you guys show up here!!!


Sorceror07 54M

3/28/2006 4:43 am

    Quoting QUEENBEEV:
    you guys are amazing!! This is some funny shit!! By the way...we got lots of places to hide in WV...you dont mind a little banjo picking or squealing like a pig do you??? Im sure the tights would go over real well in the backwoods...keep us posted...smooches ya'll...QueenB
just may have to take you up on that.... besides, we're going to be in the area when we pay a visit to Citizen5

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/28/2006 4:45 am

    Quoting EyeCandy33333:
    W's still busy looking at that ear of corn Trav gave him!
good! that means he'll sign anything put under him atm!!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Sorceror07 54M

3/28/2006 4:47 am

    Quoting sealbeater:
    lol!!! A fun read. Warning my buds to keep their Exotic cars and ... custom bikes tucked away, before you guys show up here!!!
thanks, glad you liked it ...don't worry about the custom bikes though... not enough storage space for the weaponry heheh!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


oldman1776 78M
3164 posts
3/29/2006 8:18 pm

LMOAO. I can see bards face when he finds out you stole his car and tore up his lawn.


Sorceror07 54M

3/30/2006 6:30 am

    Quoting oldman1776:
    LMOAO. I can see bards face when he finds out you stole his car and tore up his lawn.
yeah! lol! ...he's so pissed he hasn't even come to read the story!

...That which does not kill me merely pisses me off!...


Become a member to create a blog