Flashing while out on a limb.  

SoljerBlu 39M
134 posts
10/11/2005 12:26 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Flashing while out on a limb.

I have no good reason to 'bare my soul' here, but no real reason not to do so. I've enjoyed the short time I've spent here, and I have gotten the feeling that if I lived closer to some of you, we would be friends (and maybe even lovers). So, here goes...
If you've ever played craps, you know there comes a time when you have to choose.. pick up the pile of chips, or just throw them bones one more time... There are few times in life when the strength of your heart is tested than when them bones are still bouncing...
Boxcars or snake-eyes.. which one will make your day.. which will crush you like an empty BUD can?
I sit here today waiting for the phone call that will decide a lot in my life right now.. I blew off a bullshit job I've been doing (well, if truth has to be, I fucked it up by being a drunken, depressed asshole)... I wasn't going to get anywhere with this anyway.. and I
laid it all on the line in an interview to get back to the medical laboratory field I'm best at. The only problem is that over the course of thirty years of being good at this job, I've also been a lousy employee... three wives, four kids, and 100,000 beers , and a sometimes fucked up attitude have burned more bridges than most people cross.
So, my cross to bear is whether the references I gave will remember me more for the good shit I did for patients over these years, or will they only remember the times I was too drunk to come in? Will the assurances I gave this time fly? Was I good enough in this interview to convince that any problems in my past are not relevant to today, and that my only desire is to do a good job here? Is GOD still pissed at me and wants me to suffer more? Is my Karma in synch?
I hate this waiting.. at least if I go up to a woman in a dance club and say, "hey, you wanna continue this dance tha rest of this night?".. I'll get an answer right away.."Fuck No, go away" or "who lives closer, you or me".
Them bones can't bounce forever... what's coming up... the suspense is killing me.. FUCK IT, time for a beer!
If anybody gives a shit, pray for me.. I need all the help a fuck-up like me can get!!

StreaktheFreak 38F

10/12/2005 3:49 am

whatever happens that .... um.... it happens...i really just wanted to say hi...lol

papyrina 51F
21133 posts
10/12/2005 6:14 am

good luck and put the beer down,it don't help

I'm a

i'm here to stay

SoljerBlu 39M

10/12/2005 8:24 pm

OK, HIGH, Streak.. and Papy.. another beer will niether help nor hurt.. so.. "nazdrovia" or "Na Semya" or "Na lyyubov" or just "Davai vwipim"

Become a member to create a blog