The Lifestyle  

SmartType 51F
560 posts
7/1/2006 12:38 pm

Last Read:
3/9/2007 7:16 pm

The Lifestyle

I got home just a tad early yesterday afternoon and flipped on the TV to catch the tail end of Oprah (yes I like her show). It was good background noise while I picked up the bits and pieces of shoes and magazines the pup had chewed. Anyway the subject was infidelity and then swinging and how more people (partic those you would not expect) are doing it. Well I found it hilarious the reaction in the audience and suspect that it was primarily false. I think men in general underestimate the carnal appetitites and fantasies of most women. I would have to say that they are different in the composition, but overall, with the right guy, encouragement and acceptance, I think that there would be a lot more satisfying sex out there. Most people are too embarassed to share their fantasies and desires, it exposes them and/or conflicts with the 'norms' they were raised with. I thought it was courageous that a few couples actually came out of the closet about it. I don't think its suitable for everyone's relationship, but if it works for others, who the hell is anyone to judge what makes someone else happy? The fact that its done with a consenting couple and no one is sneaking behind someone else's back is great. It also satisfies all sorts of fantasy elements too. And one thing I noted when they showed clips of the club - most of these people were middle-aged, dressed provocatively and grinding about. Rock on! One of the residual hang ups I guess I have as I get older, is that with the tiniest sag and the extra wrinkle, I am feeling more self conscious about getting wild and crazy (better left to the 20-30 somethings?) So it's a bit of a comfort to know that being 40is is not a death knell to my sexuality.

rm_mmmgoodnova 105M/105F
1259 posts
7/1/2006 12:53 pm

Welcome to the site, and the blogs. Hope you find some friends on here. The blogging community is a lot of fun. ChampagneChaser posted about this particular Oprah show, too.

And you're absolutely right, both about audience reaction and a lot of men not understanding how much we women crave sex--especially, I think, as we get older. Then again, my husband has always accused me of "thinking like a guy."

We've been to some clubs and parties. No one was wearing horns. One was a toga party, though, with creative costuming. You might like to try one of the clubs or parties in your local area out. If you're single, it's usually much cheaper and easier for single women than single men. Private house parties are usually a better ratio, as there are usually more men than women.


mmmgoodnova (the female half)

SmartType replies on 7/2/2006 12:18 pm:
Hey Nova, thanks for the welcome, glad to be here although compared to some of the other blogs I've read, this will be a dull one. Yeah, the swinging thing seems to be cool as long as everyone agrees. Pleasure is pleasure and this seems to add that extra zip to a couple's relationship after they have tried all the Kama Sutra positions and explored each other's fantasies. Granted it won't work for all, but BZ to those that it does.

Choozmi 50M

7/1/2006 1:18 pm

"Polyamory" (is that the right word?) sounds like fun. However, I'm not currently in a love relationship and so I think my getting into it would depend on my partner's attitude. I certainly would not want to lose someone special simply because I wanted to have other partners and she didn't.

I think the biggest fear/stumbling block for me would be fearing that my partner would enjoy sex with others more than sex with me, and that I would lose her because of that.

SmartType replies on 7/2/2006 12:08 pm:
C, you are indeed right. This could be an opportunity where your lover finds someone more suitable to them. But from what I could tell, those folks that end up doing this on a regular basis, it seems to strengthen their relationship in the sense that its a 'new' thing. Certainly in the beginning of something and if there is no commitment...we are truly looking at something altogether. J.

rm_fitman4u2006 51M

7/1/2006 1:26 pm

no 40 is not the death toll. instead it allows you to release some concerns you had before and explore. fitman4u2006 at y hoo dot com

8321 posts
7/1/2006 2:51 pm

I'm not shocked or surprised by couples wanting to swing.

I just don't think it works for the majority of them.

Many times it ends up disintegrating their relationship.

I value intimacy too much to allow other people in to a relationship.

Sex is alot more than a physical act to me, it's a sharing of your body.

I wouldn't do that with total strangers.


"My every move is a calculated step, to bring me closer to embrace an early death." -Tupac Shakur

SmartType 51F

7/2/2006 12:05 pm

Superstar (good nova)- thanks for your comments. I totally agree about the horns comment you made. There are so many of us main stream professionals that are unafraid to explore other opportunities. But Americans are so hypocritical in general as they secretly log on to their porn sites and sneak into the men's clubs. I've met someone who is open to this and I think it's great. Not sure when it will happen, but the fact that he is non-judgemental and receptive to 'new' is awesome. Be sweet and thanks for the welcome! J

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