Feeling Blue  

SmartType 51F
560 posts
9/4/2006 5:20 pm

Last Read:
9/7/2006 8:11 am

Feeling Blue

I've been in the dumps lately. Actually it feels more like an abyss of melancholy that I can hardly bring myself to crawl out of. Sometimes life can be overwhelming and I'm at the point where I can hardly open my front door and confront the chirping of birds or bright sunshine. Things aren't bad - and that's the funny part. I have my health. I have a job. I have my family. Granted my job sucks (very political, and precarious), but I can't leave it just yet and find that I don't have a translatable skill set to get the fuck out of there. I would pack up the dog and cats and head to Alaska if I thought I could do it. But the sad part about now, is losing my mojo. I used to laugh and spit in the eye of despair, but the last 4-6 months have been taking a toll on me. I want the old me back. The funny me, the incorrigible, irreverant, strong me back. I had my dad ask me if I thought I was going through the change of life. Well that's just fucking great, and entirely possible having not had kids, and being 'fixed' at the ripe age of 35. So great, does this mean I can look forward to another five years of 'change'? Fuck that. I'm going out to find whatever it is that I need in order to right this ship. I've generally been the shoulder that people can cry on and the silver lining on the darkest day. I'm going to figure out a way to make this work. If it means eating tofu (ugh - but apparently Japanese women don't go through this), and eating sashimi every other day to get my 'mones in balance. I do love jap food - so that's good.

On a positive note, the wx is changing here. The slightest hint of fall has crept into the morning and the September Vogue, in it's glorious 500 glossy pages is out to remind us to get ready for cooler temps. I love cold weather. I love to wear black turtlenecks, shawls, skirts and my gorgeous black boots on a crisp day. Anyway, let me see if my next post can be more entertaining, where did the mojo go?


9/4/2006 6:13 pm

I'm sorry you are feeling blue darlin'. Wish I could help

(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)

9/4/2006 7:11 pm

Bummer, know what you mean some times you just got to back away from shit for a while and just leave it be...

When I was feeling that way I started using 5% testosterone cream by BioEntopic it pulled me right out of that slump, you might want to try it...Ready


SmartType replies on 9/5/2006 4:11 am:
Thanks for the tip R. At this point - ready to try most anything.

rm_emergent5 56M
15 posts
9/6/2006 3:24 pm

Oh dear what can I do? Baby's in black and she's feeling blue.

Illegitimus non carborundum

SmartType replies on 9/6/2006 4:29 pm:
It's a dark one. Need my mojo back. Animadvertistine, ubicumque stes, fumum recta in faciem ferri?

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