How should I react?  

SlimGoodGuy 38M
154 posts
4/12/2006 5:11 pm

Last Read:
4/12/2006 8:34 pm

How should I react?


You see, my girlfriend left for Dallas a week ago and we won't see each other for a long time because she's continuing her education elsewhere. I got a phone call from my girlfriend today. She told me she was going fishing with a "handsome guy" and talked about how fast they were going in the boat, etc. I have no idea who the guy is, whether he's a friend of the family or what. From what I gather from the conversation, he said something about how a pretty girl like her shouldn't have to pay for a boat ride out on the water to go fishing. She's also by herself with this guy.

After a few minutes on the phone, we could no longer hear each other because of the boat noise, so I hung up. She called back a little later and left a voicemail message. She knew I was not happy. She said she told the guy who I was and that he should not make any advances towards her, so I shouldn't be mad. While that should give me a sense of reassurance, I feel just as concerned as before. She left another message saying she caught a fish.

I'm frustrated because she's behaved this way before and I always remind her how she would feel if I said I was with some hot chick doing something aka if the roles were reversed.

I simply don't know how to react. I am choosing not to talk to her at the moment. I'm not sure how long I'll keep up the silent treatment.

Any regular person would be very inclined to think she is cheating on me. In the past, however, that has not been the case. Men just flock to her and she's too nice of a person to be blunt with them.

Is this just a case of jealousy that I should try to overcome or is this a sign that things will fall apart between us?

Jayferjoan 51F

4/12/2006 5:48 pm

I can understand how it would make you feel uncomfortable...Like you said, how would she feel if the role was reversed..would she still feel so comfortable.
You may be right , she may be able to be trusted no worries.
WOuld she trust you if the shoe were on the other foot though and how would it make her feel.

Maybe if you tell her that your not comfortable with her spending time with another man, that may help...

What can i say...relationships are not easy

jayfer

(¯`v´¯)
`*.¸.*´
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`• Jayfer


Jeepidiot 42M

4/12/2006 7:03 pm

This is very tough. Almost anyway you approach this you end up losing.

If you express your concerns to her in a calm and rationale manner then she might listen and be understanding. Or she'll get upset and holler that you don't trust her or that you're trying to control her life.

If you start off acting all mad then she'll most definitely say you don't trust her and that you're trying to control her life. If she's the really nasty sort(like one of my ex's), she'll go out with the guy just to spite you.

The silent treatment probably isn't helpful either. She could understand why you are not talking to her and just want to make you happy, or she'll believe you are acting childish and decide she's going to wait till you give in and call her.

There is suppose to be trust in a relationship. I know I'm not the person that should be saying that though considering I don't trust anyone anymore. You have said though that in the past she does not seem to have cheated on you or gone out of her way to get the attention of other guys. Perhaps give her the benefit of a doubt. And of course she did call you to tell you about the guy although using the word 'handsome' seems odd. Unless perhaps she was trying to make you jealous for whatever reason. I do have to wonder how long she's known the guy if she's going out all by herself with him.

It's a tough situation that I would screw up no matter what I did. I wish I could sugarcoat it for you and tell you everything is good but I don't believe in that.

Best of luck either way.

Hmm...you know it just hit me though. I haven't bothered to look at your profile yet so don't know if maybe you're listed as a couple and she was the other half. But I have to wonder, if you're listed as a single man yet you have a girlfriend, why would you be here? Especially if you were worried about her cheating on you? I'm not making accusations. Just thinking outloud.


Jeepidiot 42M

4/12/2006 7:05 pm

Just looked. You've been here quite sometime or at least been blogging for a bit. That seems to be the reason why you're here.


Peche85 31F

4/12/2006 8:14 pm

Hmm when I was still with my ex I went back to my hometown for a few days and met up with one of my guy mates. We ended up going for a bike ride (which I havn't done for years!) and I texted my bf telling him we had gone for a ride and he got jealous about it. It was totally innocent, we just biked to the petrol station to get some chewing gum and back, and I was excited about being on a bike for the first time in so long so I texted my bf. I didn't think it would hurt him but afterwards I realised that if he had texted me the same thing I would've been jealous too.

But theres no way I would tell my boyfriend I was doing something with a "handsome guy" so I don't know why she would say that to you.

I think Jeepidiot has the best suggestion, just try talking to her about it when you're calm and she will be more likely to tell the truth.

*PS* I meant woman in the email not women lol, didn't realise I had made the mistake til I had sent it


SlimGoodGuy 38M

4/12/2006 8:34 pm

Thanks for your comments everybody. Everything seems to be all cleared up. She realized what she had said was poor wording and was sorry from the start.

Now if I can get over the fact that she outfished me today. At least she is doing things I taught her. Glad it paid off.


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