A eulogy I hope I never have to write  

AstirRelicLatah 64M
1288 posts
8/13/2006 1:45 pm

Last Read:
8/18/2006 6:17 am

A eulogy I hope I never have to write

I was making a comment in one of sparkee58’s posts and made a comment that I didn’t want to have to write a eulogy. He encouraged me to speak out before I have to. This is what this is post is doing, speaking out so in hope.

I was just reading some national news and see several headlines:

• Hezbollah sends 250 missiles at Israel.
• Israel agrees to cease fire but continues offensive
• 50 people killed in Iraq in roadside bombs, two marines included

Every time I read headlines like this I wonder if our phone is about to ring with the news that our son is not going to come home. My son is on a journey that I don’t understand, but is very important for him. It’s not about keeping our country safe, it’s about a personal mission he needs to make for himself. (not me speaking his words)

War is tough on everyone. When a loved one is deployed, there are really pretty good opportunities for communication. We hear from our son via email a lot. We get to send him love and silly notes….He sends us very funny posts about his adventures in the sand box….both of us, or at least we ignore the danger as much as possible.

In reality having a son in Iraq is like being on a rollercoaster. Most of the time life goes along pretty normally…then, at other times you get a gut wrenching fear that something might happen…

I read articles about our government poisoning our troops and then pretending it didn’t happen…Is this his lot? I see service men getting kidnapped…this scares me more than anything. I see young men and women getting killed for no reason…we already had this happen with a good friend’s son….

I then start to wonder about an Iraqi father…I wonder what he thinks about the future for his children…what he thinks about the American soldiers…Does he see them as protectors or does he see them as occupiers? If I was him, I would see our soldiers as occupiers…

I keep writing about this idiotic war…I write because I believe if I write about it, I won’t have to write a eulogy…If I had to write a eulogy, I would have to keep my vitriolic hate of the war out of my message…It would have to be about what a great person my son was, not the lies that got him there in the first place….

You see, the Army lies when they recruit these kids…They make all sorts of promises and paint pictures that just aren’t true….Our politicians stand by and watch…even the supposed liberal ones…

Kids are coming home daily with serious problems…We continue to under fund care for our vets who are injured, both physically and mentally. We continue making the same mistakes we made in Viet Nam…We hear excuses about budget restrictions…It seems to me that if there is one place there should be no budget restrictions, it’s in this part of our government…

These kids gave their life for a story that just isn’t true…We can at least do our part in supporting them in getting better, admit that we poison our troops, or at least a portion of them and provide the needed medical care…

Everyone sits idly by and watches…don’t you think we have a responsibility to these young people…they believed in us, it’s time for us to perform for them….

So, I continue to write with the belief that this will keep me from writing a eulogy I don’t want to write…I know it’s completely ridiculous to believe this, but writing helps me clear my head…

Thanks for reading. Send a letter to your congressmen and senators. Please let them know that you want adequate support for our vets who are injured, they need the help.

What are your thoughts on how we treat our men and women in uniform? Have we learned anything from Viet Nam? If so, what?

JuicyBBW1001 54F

8/13/2006 3:00 pm

crying a silent tear for you and your son. I so hope you never have to write that eulogy and I so hope he comes home whole in body mind and spirit.
I think it is ashame the way this country treats those who put their lives on the line either as service men and women or the fire fighter who risks his life or the police officer who everyday must go to work knowing this could be his last day on earth.
I know I will never vote Republicain say what you will but a Democrat would never bomb places where innocent men, women and children live. Nor would they ignore our veternans and put them on the back burner in favor of a war that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.


AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 3:46 am:
Thanks for your thoughts...but Dems are just as bad on vets rights as Republicans...Also, the Dems bombed Serbia, probably needed to be done, but the were at the helm....It's a problem for both parties and our country as a whole.

catkit13 66F

8/13/2006 3:48 pm

please know that my thoughts are with you and your family, during this tough time . . . and i will hold good thoughts that your son will return home very soon
the comparisons with viet nam are natural, of course. not long ago, i posted some thoughts on my own blog about, how with the troops in that war, my anger was so misplaced . . . i think many of us have learned, by now, at whom the anger should be directed.
however, thanks to reagan and others that followed, our military doesn't have the resources to care for our returning vets, and it doesn't seem like a high priority for the suits in washington. so, long story short, i've learned from history, but not everyone has - very sad commentary on the state of this country right now, i'm sorry to say
again, i'll be holding good thoughts for you, your son and your family. be well, cat

AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 3:48 am:
Thanks and I agree...we can go back through our entire history and see vets being forgotten and promises broken...to the very beginning of the country...too bad.

rm_shannee2006 52F
3355 posts
8/13/2006 4:38 pm

I can't change the government alone. I can't change how you feel. I can't protect your son. I can't end the war. I can't take back the lies that he was told or that the American citizens are told all the time for that matter. I can't change your worry or your fear.

I can listen though. I can pray and I can be there to celebrate when he comes home or I can be there to comfort if he doesn't or he doesn't come home whole. Keep writing and I'll keep listening. Do what you need to do to get through this. ((hugs))

Yup...this juiciness is from me....


AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 3:49 am:
Thanks so much, you don't know how much I appreciate your thoughts. This was sort of a just listening time and I thank you for it, no easy solutions or soutions at all.

rm_aWench4U 61M/61F
741 posts
8/13/2006 6:00 pm


My thoughts and prayers are with you and your son--well, really all the troops over there. I'm afraid we as a country haven't learned a damn thing from Vietnam, which means we a destined to repeat that nightmare, unfortunately.

I remember the line from the old protest song, "How many deaths will it take til we know, that too many people have died?" I still don't think we have an answer for that question, and I don't see even a suggestion on the horizon. More's the pity.

Keep writing to keep your sanity. And know you have our support.


Remember the past but do not dwell there.
Face the future where all our hopes stand.


AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 3:50 am:
Thanks for your support. Writing does help.

Perchance2000 57M

8/13/2006 7:47 pm

If those who think they have the right to make these absurd decisions - supposedly for the common good - stepped down from their high horses and began to think like human beings . . . there would be no wars.

Or if they don't step down, we made them. Through our votes, through our marches, through our words . . .

And why, despite all the obvious non-sense, can they get away with it? Why do we let them get away with it? Why do we not rise, in a manner that cannot be ignored anymore, united in the strife for peace?

If more of us had that dream, of a world in peace, could we make it happen?

I don't know, the history of mankind seems to show that we are far - even farther - away from this universal peace . . .

And so, what remains, is signaling to you, and others like you - as they are around, we follow their blogs, their words - our support, which is strong . . . but we needed to do more, otherwise it'll be us, who today do not have a loved one in one of those nonsensical wars, who will need to write, tomorrow or after tomorrow, a eulogy nobody would hope ever to have to write . . .

AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 3:55 am:
Thanks so much for your thought....This post sort of morphed while I was writing it...I'm convinced we aren't going to eradicate war, at least not in my life time...but, we could keep the promises we make to Vets when they return...either physically or mentally broken....We have a responsibility to spare no expense in getting them fixed, if it's possible.

tracy_de_lacy 105F
9268 posts
8/14/2006 12:35 am

I am so sad to read this. My brother was in the british army in Iraq the first time around. I was appalled by the lack of councelling these young boys get when they come home. Your son is gonna need all the love, support and understanding you can give him when he gets back.

Bye everyone, it was a blast

AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 3:59 am:
We know that. Thanks.

Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
8/14/2006 1:00 am

Perchance let me know of you and this post......
I know how you feel man, is all I can say.


AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 4:00 am:

Glimmer_Man06 47M
3308 posts
8/14/2006 4:16 am

Being a Gulf War vet, I can understand exactly what you are saying here.

The same lies. It is all about money and greed.

I saw many of our boys come home in body bags, or "mysteriously ill".

I have written so many letters my fingers are about to fall off. No one listens. That is the major problem.

They say a woman ages like fine wine...

...mine ages like milk!

AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 5:06 am:
I agree and I'm most angry at the left wing of the political spectrum on this. We supposedly learned that it's not the troops fault from Viet Nam. I don't think we have...thanks for stopping by.

wickedeasy 66F  
25377 posts
8/14/2006 6:39 am

good morning skier

seems a lot of us are stuck on this issue. i was told by one commenter, enough, let's just be happy. when my son received his notification of eligibility for the service, my heart was pounding as i tucked it away safely. i remember the draft and lottery well.

there is little to say to a father or a mother with a child at war. i would sit with my friend, listening to bbc coverage for hours while she held my hand so tightly there were marks from her nails in my palms. when her daughter came home, there were more difficult times, but times that could be held and hugged and fed and talked with - just jessie's in the house made her smile. jessie said that she wasn't afraid while she was there. she was just numb, and constantly hungry - the food had a hard time following the troop movements.

is there such a thing as a righteous war? i do believe there is. but our war with Iraq is not one of them. i have and will continue to write and sign peace petitions, join marches, get arrested. but until there is leadership in this country that recognizes the true cost of war not the political or economic benefits, i fear that we will be voices in the wilderness.

dear skier - some things must be endured. you have my info. anytime you need to talk



You cannot conceive the many without the one.

AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/14/2006 7:47 am:

I'm so glad that you are protesting and having your voice heard...I'm hoping that some more take those actions also. It's clear to me that Iraq is a huge waste of time, resources and people. My frustration is that I'm not hearing anyone on the Dem side making the argument for a different tact...They aren't stating the real problem either...at least in my opinion...I'm afraid that we've lost our position as world leader and at this point, no one has taken our place...My only hope is that one comes along before it's too late. Thanks so much for your support. I appreciate it.

Notfunanymore 105F
10289 posts
8/14/2006 3:10 pm

I didn't mention this morning, before I left for work that my son has been in Iraq since early December. 4th ID..... I'm not saying his unit..... His welfare is my primary concern.
I worry my ass off about him. I know this war and his involvement has changed him. He's not the same Alex anymore. I pray your son fares better.

God Bless you and your family. May your son be safe during his time of being called to duty.... for real.


AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/15/2006 2:54 pm:
And I hope you get your son back...Fight hard with vet affairs and your representatives to get the support he needs....It's what we owe our sons and daughters...Thanks for your thoughts. You have the same coming from me.

druidrocker 62F

8/14/2006 5:46 pm

I remember Vietnam - and I remember a saying that still rings true - Love the Warrior - Hate the War.

I have participated in programs that sent letters to the soldiers letting them know that although we wish they were not there - they should never think we do not appreciate them and care about them.

The company I work for listened when I told some people about how our soldiers were not given enough or any of what we think of as basic necessities and we started collecting goodies, shampoo, tooth paste, paper products (TP), books, playing cards and tones of other stuff and it was packaged as "male" or "female" and sent out to the troops.

I am not saying this so that I bring attention to myself but to give ideas to other's.

Yes - please write and let the poor excuse we have for a government know how hurt and angry we are - but - while we are waiting - let's do something to make it a little more pleasant for the men and woman who are trying to be good American's.

And - as always - don't forget to pray - and for those of you who don't think Pagans pray - think again - there is a Higher Power and by any name you choose to use - your voice is heard.

AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/15/2006 2:57 pm:
There are tons of efforts from grass roots like yours. First of all, thanks. The camp where S used to work has a sign up asking if people know him. They're putting a care package together for him....What an honor...I'm curious as to why our politicians don't seem to get it...If they were required to have their children serve, we would have a different deal going.

ShyWhisper2006 53F
15175 posts
8/15/2006 4:44 pm

Sending thoughts and prayers to you and yours...

AstirRelicLatah replies on 8/15/2006 8:06 pm:
Thanks so much.

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