Time Flies...  

Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
3683 posts
12/23/2005 10:41 am

Last Read:
3/17/2007 7:15 pm

Time Flies...


Didn't realize how long it has been...wow.
Our new band has already got my hands full...also moving forward with a bunch of plans for next year, Jeez...
My book, as in typical Gemini...or maybe just typical me style is being pushed further and further back. Trying to take care of everything and everyone else...LOL...and yes, I know, I have to take care of me...
We have a female R&B vocalist down in Florida, that is simply amazing. An updated version of Teena Marie and Alicia Keys. This woman is amazing...(Did I say that already?).
We have done a joint venture with a Hip Hop group, kinda like the brand new version of Wu-Tang clan. Extremely versatile MC's. My DJ has finally gotten his slow butt finished with his originals...been deejaying other people's music till I finally had to wedge a size 15 up his butt...LOL. He will be dropping something early next year and touring with our R&B artist. Back to our new group...OMG!!! These guys are Heavy, Heavy, Heavy rock and since winning the contest, they are already opening up in Michigan in front of 5,000 people for (drumroll please)...
Powerman5000. For those that aren't into that type of rock...lets just say...They are a BIG band!! LOL... In the meantime..my search for an able bodied assistant that has been pseudo joked about for a while, just became EXTREMELY Real!!! . We are trying to figure out where to open a new office and updating websites and sending e-mails and stuff. Some of you got the latest this morning and know how to get onto my site for anybody that would like to know what's up.
My main search...hmmm... I am beginning to wonder, what is truly inside of my heart. sometimes I feel I am being too picky and other times I feel as if, I have gone through so many things, I am just looking for someone that can relate to the craziness that is and will be my life. Should I hook up with another business person or entertainer. Someone that will understand all of this crap..hopefully...lol..or is there women outside of the industry that will get it? That has haunted me since way before I was married. It seems that the woman dreaming of the white picket fence, doesn't realize, I want that too, but it comes with additions and baggage. baggage other than my kids and my personal past. It also comes with traveling, it comes with long nights in the studio, it comes with being around some very interesting characters, some very attractive characters, some very ugly characters...and I don't necessarily mean looks. One thing that I learned from all of my years (OMG!! I actually used that phrase)...is that it takes balance. Balance does not mean that YOU, whoever you happen to wind up being in my life, encourages or discourages me from doing something that has been inbedded in my soul since birth. It does not mean you ask me to give it up or to make grand gestures to display that I "PUT YOU FIRST". To me, that should come naturally. To me and to most guys that are either too confused or too scared or simply just don't know how to say it...my career and my relationship should harmoniously co-exist. I had a conversation the other day with someone... I called just to let them know that I had been thinking of them. I called in-between several other calls that I had to make. Not only for my career, but for my current job and for the craziness that is my checking on my parents.
What I percieved as a sweet gesture to let that person know, I missed them, missed talking and that they were in my mind irregardless of what I was going through, turned into a statement that I soooo irreproachably disagree with...
When I told her, I had to get back to work...she said..."NO, I come first..."
So instead of me getting off of the phone to continue working the job that I hate, so that my boss wouldn't walk out of his office and fire me. Thus leaving me with no income to get my business fully functioning again. Let alone surviving. Instead of me getting off the phone, so I could check on my parents real quick, while I snuck in the bathroom to use my cell phone, instead of me calling my kids to let them know that my cell phone was back on, because my timing lapsed once...I repeat ONCE this year, while stretching my measly check to pay for everything, instead of calling my artist that are banking their lives on me... she wanted me to stay on the phone right then and there, to talk about..."what her girlfriends did at the club last night."
I would have called her back in 3 hours, after work, which I did...but that seemed to throw red flags in every direction of my mind. What is it that I am missing? Of course, if it really came down to a decision between someone that I loved and working, I would choose the person that I love, but I guess after going through what i have gone through and being the age that i am...I don't really expect that type of circumstance to come up... so...my thoughts for the day... Where is the one that can co-exist with my craziness, is there such a person or am I missing the point? Am I now doomed to enjoying my friends, fwb's and uh...extra's? LOL... When will I simply get on with it? Who so you think will win the superbowl? HA!!!

Whispersoftly5 52F
15176 posts
12/23/2005 12:43 pm

Sizzle, I’m really starting to look forward to reading your posts on a regular basis. You seem to be a man of character and that’s to be respected in my book. I think you know the answer to the questions you have about somebody saying I come first. Seems near every time I read a post by you I find some parallel to my own life ‒ I find comfort in that somehow. Not to get deep or anything ‒ just weird how that works. I left a post last night that I think you might enjoy - some quotes. The last one listed is the one I’ve always found most meaningful. All of them are have affected me positively, but the last one is the most powerful to me. Here’s the link [post 179195]

Best wishes to you in all you do and enjoy a lovely holiday and New Year!

Whisper…


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
12/23/2005 1:16 pm

Well darlin, the Redskins are gonna win the Super Bowl of course...as to the rest of your questions...me thinks you overthink this thing way tooo much. Relax. And when you were talking to your friend and she didn't understand that you needed to go then I have to say that maybe she's just all about "her" and that seems a bit selfish to me. You should have said sorry hun, I've got to go now! If it pissed her off - oh well - you still have to look out for all your hard work and sacrifices you've built up to so far. So...I'm guessing she's not gonna work. BUT...relax baby - cause "the one" is gonna come out of no where and totally knock you off your feet and then you'll wonder why you were so worried. You know that's how it works. Peace & blessings....Merry Christmas!!

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


rm_summer765 52F
123 posts
12/23/2005 9:23 pm

I totally agree w/ imp...hmmmmm..imagine that. lol You will find ur soulmate someday.Stop worrying about it so much.You should try meditation..things will just fall into place.I'll be posting again soon...i'd like some of ur input..if that's not too much to ask? lol Merry X-Mas baby and Happy New Year


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
12/24/2005 9:48 pm

Whisper... Yes... i am definately a character...lol...Happy holidays to you

Impish..I definately agree with you...about the over thinking...LOL. As to the Redskins..hmm we shall see my darling..are you a betting woman? Merry Xmas...

Summer...LOL..its in my nature to be a worrywort...LOL. it probably comes off a lot more
panicky here in blogland cuz its the inner thoughts. LOL. As to my input...of course its not too much to ask...can't wait! Merry Chrismahanukwaanzika...LOL!


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
51F

12/26/2005 8:25 pm

extras...

hmmmm

TTFN


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