How Do You Choose?  

Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
3683 posts
8/30/2005 12:55 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

How Do You Choose?


Over the last few days, some questions have been posed to me.
1. How do I know that a certain person is the One?
2. Why couldn't I be the One?
3. Are you sure you're ready for a relationship?
All very valid questions. It made me wonder.
Its been said that women can tell if they will sleep with a guy within the first 5 minutes of meeting them and that men will sleep with anything with a pulse...LOL. I seemed to be an anomaly to both ideas...LOL.
How do you choose who you want to have no strings sex with?
How do you choose who you want to have a relationship with?

Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/30/2005 1:16 am

There are plenty of attractive people out there on first glance, but for me...
Its a certain level of playfulness. A style that hints at the openess of their sexuality.
Sometimes just a raw, primal, animal type attraction. Like the girl I saw at a fast food
restaurant that was walking to her car and I noticed that her jeans were unbuttoned at the top. For no apparent reason. Clasp wasn't broken, pants were still zipped, so the clasp was not broken. She just felt comfortable that way. I woulda jumped her bones right there.
MMmmm. Pure animal.
Relationship. A bit different. At this time in my life. I'm looking for the woman that feels comfortable running through the park, throwing cupcakes at each other or can go to a high society event. Someone that is comfortable being together and not saying anything or talking incessantly about everything under the sun. My best friend, that I never have to be ashamed of what I have to say or worried that their feelings are going to get hurt if I point out something that could be done a little better. Because I only wish the best for them and they know it. Someone VERY openminded sexually, but just for each other, unless rare occassion passes. Someone that wants and desires to make me happy 24/7 as I desire to do the same for them. Someone I can be ridiculously mushy with one moment and downright nasty with a few minutes later. Someone that enjoys the finer things in life, but is well aware of where we stand in relation to those things and what is required for us to get them. Someone equally as comfortable with having nothing. Able to rest in a tent in the middle of the jungle or in the master suite at the Whitehouse. Maybe I ask too much out of a relationship. There is still friends with benefits though...LOL. Maybe that is the best way to go. How would you choose the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. For me, it is a logical, emotional and animal attraction. If any of the three are missing, there is bound to be some problems.


CuriousKitty675 41F
365 posts
8/30/2005 6:07 am

Honestly, I think when you meet them you just...know. That little voice of the subconscious or whatever it is perks up and you get this feeling and you just know. There's , unfortunately, no flashing neon sign over them saying that they are the one. So we just have to trust our own instincts. As far as the one nighters, well I've only had one ever so I'm a poor judge of that. The one time I did it was the animal, primal lust thing. He was a hot as hell bass guitar player and just watching him play turned me on. Luckily he didn't disappoint later when he wasn't playing either! LOL! But that was the only one. I think most times I tend to be too picky, ya know? I know I could get it if I wanted it but there has to be more than the primal. There has to be some kind of connection that you just 'feel'. It's hard to explain.


SunneyOne 44F

8/30/2005 7:14 am

I can't say anything other than, yup yup yup, all that. Perfectly put, Siz.


Theflinkychick 105F

8/30/2005 9:14 am

When you know, you know, that is all I can say. If I have to ask myself if I want to, then I don't.

How do you know if you've met THE ONE? Well, that is more complicated in some ways, but still I think that there is a knowing that sparks up right away. I like the way you expressed the three elements that must be present. And I hope like hell you aren't asking too much from your relationship because I want one like that too. I'm not sure what you mean by rare occasion passes, but I don't think I'd include that, I want exclusivity.

Not all who wander are lost.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/30/2005 9:33 am

I'm feeling pretty primal right now...must be that whole cat theme...growl!!!


redlipsprincess
(Princess Lips)
51F

8/30/2005 10:37 am

relationships choose you...

and no strings is easier said than done...

TTFN


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/30/2005 10:41 am

Hey Sunney!!

Kateybabe-You can go on and on and on...and on..LOL...as long as you like. Maybe even all night


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/30/2005 10:49 am

Redlips- That's why there are handcuffs...LOL


islandgirl_702 54F

8/30/2005 11:36 am

Hmmm! THE ONE ~VS~ FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS...How do we know which one they will be? First and foremost, Friends with benefits: I am probably one of the minority in this viewpoint, I just have a difficult time juggling relationships, that is too much drama for me to handle! Living a stress-free and dramaless life is a challenge in itself...I surely would not bring it to the bedroom. You would need to determine what exactly are you looking for and is he seeking the same. It is often a dead end road if you are desiring one thing and he another. Communication is extremely important in the survival of ANY relationship, however, one must aske themselves and evaluate the relationship together...can you BOTH keep a conversation going, does he have the same goals, does his personality clash or enhance, could you be loyal, devoted, and honest. You must never fear "THE ONE"! Ultimately, he does have to be your BEST friend. Are you able to discuss sexual inhibitions or freaky desires without him looking at you in disgust or drooling. I have met some gorgeous men that turned out to be assholes from hell and then I have met some average men that turned out to be the most loving and attentive friends...so looks isn't the top of my list. Its all about what is on the inside. Of course, there is the "lets throw in some scenerios" or then there is the "hypothetically, what if..." those questions are good and you can hear where the other is coming from...but I believe the TRUE resolution is to be actually in that scenerio or hypothetical situation. We can discuss all of it...but only your heart will know IS HE/SHE THE ONE! You will know! The heart is pure and innocent and the mind is full of doubts, influences from others in your life, skeptical from past betrayals, etc... ROMANCE ~VS~ LOGIC which one would you prefer? The heart which is loving, holds you in utmost highest, and is clean and pure "OR" Your mind, challenging you all the way through if you are going to be the one everyone warned him about, will you be like the rest of them, or has already destined you to defeat from the beginning..... I would want to be in a relationship that I felt safe, secure, protected, and guided... Most of all, What would be the answer to the internal mind...Can I ever picture life without him? F@#K NO NOT IN THIS LIFETIME....


angel_wings2005 52F

8/30/2005 12:22 pm

did you say HANDCUFFS ??? I have a couple pairs of those- if ya need em !! lol--- in response to the above : you , once again- have read my mind- or my heart- I think that in alot of ways- we ALL are looking for just what you described. It is in out nature to want and be wanted., need and be needed. I hope that we all find what we are searching for - and don't say that we arent' looking for SOMETHING- or we wouldn't be on here !! right ? right ! *wink*


rm_summer765 52F
123 posts
8/30/2005 2:57 pm

I have already had my ONE..who was taken from me way before his time..to a place i am certainly not ready to go to.I haven't found another yet.Sometimes it's hard to really know who is the ONE for you.In time so many things seem to change.I agree w/ u Siz on the 3 elements.Communication is another major element.You must be able to talk about anything.Whatever it may be about.Follow with your heart and soul.One more thing and i'm done or i would go on forever..lol. Like the saying goes "Beauty is w/in the eye of the beholder".I am more attracted to what is w/in someone and how they treat others then on how they look.I never judge a book by it's cover.Relationships r hard...it takes both people to make it complete.


impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
8/30/2005 7:28 pm

Wow...deep, deep subject. No surprise there as you have proven time and time again that you are a very old soul. You made me think on this one though, you made me look at my bare naked heart and answer a few of those questions myself. Not really sure I'm ready to answer those questions...ummm...moments of pure vulnerability. I do know that the "no string's attachted" and the "FWB" seems to be ok for a while but I lately find that I want a little more than that. More importantly, when I'm truthful with myself I know that I'm not really cut out for that anyway. So what do I want and how will I know? Not sure man...hopefully the heavens will open up and millions of angels will sing. Since that's doubtful I can only say that I want to be cherished. Wholely, completely cherished. I want to be some man's greatest treasure. Too much to ask? I don't know but that's what I'm holding out for because thats the way I "love". When that magic happens I believe that all the other, (some might say superficial),things on my "list" will fall into place. Miracles do still happen...right? Peace!

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn


sexyeyes375 47F

8/30/2005 10:45 pm

A five page questionaire and I.Q. test... just kidding.. I agree with RedLips.. they choose you. You FEEL it when the person enters your life... the only thing is, you do not know what they are here for: is it for a great friendship or a great sexual fling or is this person the one that your soul connects on all these levels? You must add time.. and lots of kissing to know for sure...


CuriousKitty675 41F
365 posts
8/31/2005 6:14 am

Purrrrrrrr baby.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/31/2005 7:32 am

Flinkychick- We're gonna make those three elements the international standard...LOL

Islandgirl- ...but what about the next lifetime?


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/31/2005 7:35 am

Angel- Correctamundo...LOL... (Anybody remember where that came from? LOL...)

Summer- The feeling of completeness...mmmm...I have a poem in my book that covers just such a feeling. It is great, isn't it?


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/31/2005 7:39 am

Impish-pixie- miracles definately still do happen. A growing testament is that its a miracle I haven't choked the crap outta my boss yet!! LOL. THAT is a miracle...

Sexyeyes- My relationship quiz was page one of my five page questionairre...LOL.
Maybe we need to test this theory of lots of kissing sometime...


MsLoveRose 33F  
2432 posts
8/31/2005 8:02 am

all very good points brought up....when you realize that your mind wonders with a memory of something you shared...or you capture a tender moment with the one you are with...chances are your feelings run much deeper than just a sexual encounter. you know...you will know its something you can feel!

live more, laugh often, love much


rm_summer765 52F
123 posts
8/31/2005 1:48 pm

Yea baby...it was


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
8/31/2005 4:37 pm

Hello Sunrisegirl. Welcome to Sizzle's world. Hope you can come by often and hang out with us. Thanks also for the comments


CuriousKitty675 41F
365 posts
9/1/2005 5:25 am

Correctamundo? Huh...Samuel L Jackson. Pulp Fiction of course.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
9/1/2005 9:33 am

ah, my darling Curious...alas, I am probably showing my age with this one, but Sam actually got it from Arthur Fonzarelli, "The Fonz", from Happy days. Which knowing Quentin Tarantino's taste for everything trashy pop culture, his movies are filled with stuff he culled from old,old (well maybe, not THAT old...LO movies and television shows.
I'm going to have to spank you for the wrong answer... Good try though...LOL


playfulwithyou33 56F
961 posts
9/1/2005 3:49 pm

"Playful" is a good place to start


CuriousKitty675 41F
365 posts
9/2/2005 7:02 am

Well that was my second answer (The Fonz was my hero!) but seeing how typicaly my so called 'old' pop culture references are not caught by my friends I went with the most recent use of it. <sigh> I always wanted to be Pinky Tuscadero(sp?) She was the shizzle my Sizzle. Not to mention her and the Fonz had a thing going. It pains me to see him in The Waterboy. Oh how far my idols have fallen. LOL!


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
9/2/2005 10:51 am

LOL...Yes Katey..."The Fonz" ...AAAAyyYYYYYYY!!!! LOL

Playful... That is always a good place to start being playful is essential...


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
9/2/2005 10:54 am

Mmmmm...Pinky...I agree, she was definately something...kept Fonz on his toes...LOL.
She was also the only one that met him on equal ground...thanks for the memory.


islandgirl_702 54F

9/2/2005 2:36 pm

Sizz~ I hate you! But, it was a correct statement....how can I hate a man that writes good! Really, I can't but I had to hold my hands above my head reading this story.... xxoo


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
9/2/2005 3:29 pm

Hmm, which statement are you referring to IG?


yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
9/2/2005 5:24 pm

I'm thinkin we never truly know....we just fly by the seat of our pants and enjoy the ride!

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
9/2/2005 9:37 pm

LOL...Yagotta...I'm a Big guy...with the strength of cloth being what it is,flying by the seat of my pants is not an option...LOL


pussinboots4u 50M/47F

9/3/2005 5:37 am

For me even casual sex requires both a mental and physical attraction, as seems to be the case with most of the women. Conversation that stimulates the mind will also stimulate other places for me - nothing like great debate

As for relationships - don't know that I can answer that - I just knew it was going to be him - everything clicked, my heart and brain went to mush and I don't know - it could have something to do with being clubbed - woke up married (j/k). Seriously though, it was something that took me by complete surprise, the feelings I felt for him. I'll have to post the way we came to dating on our blog one day - it is a bit funny.


Sizzle364
(Juan S)
52M
2642 posts
9/3/2005 10:02 am

Looking forward to it Pussinboots4u and welcome to sizzles world


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