A picture tells a thousand words...  

(Juan S)
3683 posts
11/20/2005 12:22 am

Last Read:
8/11/2007 7:14 pm

A picture tells a thousand words...

I returned from work today. Tired. Determined to pack more boxes. Going through things to throw away.
Memories no longer needed or desired. Outdated information and general clutter.
It was then that I ran across your picture.
It was at that moment that I experienced a loneliness that I had not felt in years.
I am usually busy as hell. There are friends and family. responsibilities, acquantances, my dog, my kids...never really a dull moment.
There was a time that I used to hate winter...
it represented loss and death...
Change...trudging through the snow, before I bought my first car...Christmas time spent with my family, but never at that time with a girlfriend. Always seemed to be in some sort of transition or break-up during or before the holidays... Even you...
You were the last person to matter, before my marriage...
The last one that I knew, loved me, the way I Needed...wanted.
I was consumed by your every movement. Your every breath.
It was you that showed me what a relationship could be like...
It was you that spoiled me, for every woman after we met...
It was you, even though I didn't realize, that would cross my mind, years later after I was married...
You were the one that made the world disappear when I held you.
You showed me, what it was like to make a woman desire me...
You flattered me, in front of your friends, strangers, God...
You lusted for me...and everyone knew...
You consumed me, with your passion. I fell... a willing slave.
The short time we were together has been etched in my mind for eternity...and the reel, replayed in my head tonight.
The walk through the hallway in college, when someone noticed you headed my way. Their words to me... "I am Jealous".
Before I noticed you coming, I asked them why... Their reply ...
"I am jealous of the way she looks at you..."
I turned to see the look, and I melted...
I remember being in line at the movies, holding each other...
Touching, kissing and caressing in the theatre, until we were both sweating from the heat of our bodies...
I remember it felt like we both orgasmed, when I finally leaned over and began kissing your neck...much to the annoyance of the people sitting behind us...lol
I remember sitting on your porch, with you on the step behind me, leaning between your legs with your arms wrapped around me...you started kissing my neck...tickling me and making my big, football playing ass squirm like a child...
I remember the three men I was going to fight. How you came up behind me and placed your hand on the small of my back, under my shirt. How you leaned into my back and buried your face into my shoulder and mouthed the words, "its okay"...
Immediately calming me...my adrenaline drained faster than i have ever seen... Sparing...their lives...
I remember my Mom, almost catching us about to make love...
I remember making love on the floor of your sisters apartment...
The day you simply announced...that you were falling...for me.
There were 317 women in the space between you and my wife.
317 that I remember either by name or by circumstance. There have been 7 after my separation and divorce in 1999.
Even though there have been many, many lessons that I have learned in the 24 years since we were together.
It is today that I realize...
that It was YOU...that taught me how to love.

GoddessOfTheDawn 105F
11240 posts
11/20/2005 2:13 am

memories can be powerful .... and wonderful

and you put them into words ....

spoldrtn812 51F  
1056 posts
11/20/2005 7:08 am

You are an awesome KING!!! Whoever she is I pray she finds out! You deserve a woman that appreciates the man you are!

Please, Sign my Guestbook Screw me!

rm_goddess1946 106F
13518 posts
11/20/2005 9:25 am

thank you for sharing your beautiful heart...

Just a little food for thought.............
If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you...

PrincessKarma 43F
6188 posts
11/20/2005 10:04 am


I pray I have had that effect on someone, sometime...

The Big Bang was the mother of all orgasms.PrincessKarma

yagottalikit 49F
583 posts
11/20/2005 11:06 am

One of THE MOST touching pieces I've ever read......you are an amazing man

Yagotta get it soft and wet so we can kick/stick it

impish_pixie 54F
6867 posts
11/20/2005 2:17 pm

so siz...(Can't believe I'm saying this...), maybe you should look her up. Those words held too much passion to think it's ever been "over" in your heart. Take that leap...you never know - maybe she's been waiting to "catch" you.

I make mistakes, I am out of control & at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best. ~Marilyn

(Juan S)
2642 posts
11/20/2005 3:47 pm

Goddess... Thanks. It just comes out...

Spold...coming from someone that HAS met me, I take a little extra pleasure in your compliment. Thank you, so very much...

Goddess1946... and thank you, for coming to my little slice of the Blogworld.

Princess Karma... Me too...

Yagotta... mmm, thank you. Still trying to capture you though...

Impish... I haven't seen her since 1983 when I was in college... Occassionally I have tried to find her, especially after I heard that she had gotten divorced...but, She was the one to teach me, I believe there is someone out there that is supposed to reap the benefits of those lessons. I'm just waiting...lol.

tillerbabe 55F

11/20/2005 10:33 pm

Siz....OH! the "lucky" women that have known your love...

(Juan S)
2642 posts
11/21/2005 8:12 am

Wetty...Thanks cutie...you as well...

Tiller... Wanna "Get Lucky"? ...heh heh

BigGirlz... I don't know if its the season, or the packing or what, but...yeah it does seem to be that time right now...

Jez...awwwww....shucks..... (blush,blush...) How was Friday? LOL... Did one of you say Sizzle...lmao!

sexymermaid6956 63F
26393 posts
11/21/2005 10:38 am

I got goose bumps reading..how powerful love can be..lucky lady who reaps the harvest....


Seduce my mind and my body

(Juan S)
2642 posts
11/21/2005 12:50 pm

Sexy...Just waiting. Everyone tells me stop looking, so I'm just enjoying the view from afar...until I POUNCE!!!!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!

Jez...LOL!! Hitting on Tiller? What makes you think that? Oh..ok...Yeah, I'm kinda feeling MsTillerbabes personality... ( and then there are those pics, too... Jeez!!! )

rm_summer765 52F
123 posts
11/22/2005 7:29 pm

Just when I think You've done yourself in you throw something better on the table. Why did you let her get away? It's probably better that way.I've had a few that got away and ended up finding me again but it just wasn't the same. So for me..right now..i'm just looking for "The One" that can last as long as i can lmao As always baby...good luck

(Juan S)
2642 posts
11/22/2005 8:09 pm

    Quoting rm_summer765:
    Just when I think You've done yourself in you throw something better on the table. Why did you let her get away? It's probably better that way.I've had a few that got away and ended up finding me again but it just wasn't the same. So for me..right now..i'm just looking for "The One" that can last as long as i can lmao As always baby...good luck
I'm That way in Bed too... LOL

Just when I think You've done yourself in you throw something better on the table

sexyeyes375 47F

11/22/2005 9:31 pm


coming to your blog, reading your posts.. it is like watching you piece together your soul for all to see. I always leave knowing more of you.. and asking /finding more about myself. xxxx

(Juan S)
2642 posts
11/23/2005 12:24 am

Aww...Sexyeyes...You are making me blush. Thank you very much for this compliment.
One could only Hope that there work touches someone in the manner you've spoken of...

rm_summer765 52F
123 posts
11/24/2005 5:43 am

I can jus imagine what ur like in bed...makes me wet thinkin about it Siz...u put such devilish thoughts in my mind. I would jus love to tie ur ass up

(Juan S)
2642 posts
11/25/2005 10:58 pm

Tying me up seems to be a reoccurring theme in a few peoples minds these days...LOL...
who knows...

islandgirl_702 54F

11/30/2005 2:18 pm

Its clear that this woman truly was made for you...WHY OR HOW did either of you ALLOW the other to "GET AWAY".....Hmmmm! Something to ponder on...my Friend...Your QUEST to find "THE ONE".....has that JOURNEY not reached the final destination for reasons of:
1. Women display actions of previous failed relationships to remind you of "OH NO DON'T WANT TO GO DOWN THAT ROCKY ROAD AGAIN...."


2. No woman has been able to get CLOSE to the perfection of the one that got away?


Invest in nurturing, loving, and cultivating the woman you place in your life...anyone can melt through your hand, in your mouth, and on your bed...providing the desire, courage, hope, and inseparable devotio....as long as you BOTH are making each other happy....why would anyone inflict pain, anguish, turmoil...... Let go of the past, enjoy today, and dream about tomorrow.........................


(Juan S)
2642 posts
12/1/2005 2:02 pm

Island girl... I forgive, but I don't forget.
I move forward because the only reason to go back is to rescue someone worth saving...
women display actions of previous failed relationships? Hmm...If you dated an abusive, drug addict would you hop into a relationship with another one?
No woman has been able to get close to the perfection of the one that got away...
No...none of the ones i have been with since her has, 6 of the 8 were just dating and fucking. 1 of them had the potential to be that and more to me, but she played herself, the other one is my ex-wife. Obviously I moved on... I married someone.
As to me having the key? It would be a question of whether or not I wanted to open that door...


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