What is wrong with this picture?!  

Singlechick25 36F
253 posts
10/14/2005 4:33 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

What is wrong with this picture?!


Okay maybe it's lack of sleep, I am an insomniac afterall, but I am seriously tired of people whining. Now please, make no mistake, I am not whining right now. I'm complaining. There is a difference, however slight.

I posted a question in the mag but find that I am still irrate and would like to vent. People! If you are not going to hold yourself to the SAME standards that you hold others, you need to seriously re-evaluate what you want out of life. I will not condemn myself to a relationship in chich my man expects more out of me than he does himself becuase apparently the possession of penis give you license to be lazy, inconsiderate, and an offensive jerk. That is completely unacceptable to me.

I personally expect a great deal more from myself than I do of anybody else. Especially men. I've been burned in my life by many men and while it's taught me not to put a whole lot of faith and the male species, I can't help but be disappointed when a a man I have respect and deeply care for turns out to be just another pig.

I would ask the question "are there any real gentlemen, nice guys, and honest men out there?" However I would get lots of affirmative repsonses that yes, chivalry is not dead, everyone loves romance, and a nice guy is just around the corner. And some days I honestly wonder if it isn't all BS.

I was in this same frame of mind when I decided that I wanted to chuck relationships, dating, romance out of the window and just settle for a no strings attached affair a while back. I'm sorely disappointed to say that "relationship" has been the most honest one with a man in my life.

So, I wonder to myself, are these my choices? Give up and decide what level of jerk I'm willing to put up with, sex without romance and love, or zero relationships with zero sex. None of the choices are very appealing to me. Maybe my expectations ARE to high afterall.

BTW I'm not PMS'ing so don't even go there.

RhumbRetchOpals 36F

10/14/2005 6:48 am

I agree, and feel with like most women do.I too have had most relationships end and feel like "waste of time kinda thing"
best of luck and great sex to be had. Dee


buddhamike 105M
7006 posts
10/14/2005 7:53 am

There were kind caring gentlemen out there, then they discovered that women claim they want such a man then leave him for a bad boy. Or in most cases never get involved with the nice type in the firsat place. So nice guys turn into abusive users, because it works better.

Start with, forget really good looking guys. They get so much action, they don't need to be nice. Forget bad boys, they are in the same position as the hunks. Forget guys with a lot of money, they're even worse. Try someone who is only average looking and a little over weight and not too much money and your chances of finding a "nice guy" will improve dramatically. You might consider well educated without being a doictor or lawyer, too but I realize the rampant anti-intellectualism in our society may make that impossible.

I'm not saying you're wrong here. I think you're absolutely right, but you may just be looking in the wrong places.

Any way, I hope you find what you're looking for.


VEALMARSALA 49F

10/14/2005 8:02 am

you sound cute repley


VEALMARSALA 49F

10/14/2005 8:07 am

hay i read your message , idid not understand the question but would like to talk responed vealmarsala


general19641000 52M
1 post
10/14/2005 8:30 am

Nice blog. Sorry that you feel that there are no real gentlemen out there. Maybe you need to look at your definition of gentlemen is? There are alot of us out there, but are in situations out of our control that will not allow us to be what your looking for. I agree that honesty is everything and that is the mark of a true gentlemen. Perhaps you need to take those pieces of honesty as they come and enjoy them while you can!


rm_mojomike 50M
45 posts
10/14/2005 8:56 am

First off, Write off all the jerk, you don't need any of them. What you need to find is a guy that will respect you. Is that easy? Yes. is the search worth while? Yes.

Maybe you have a high criteria for the looks, that might need to be adjusted. Do a review of what you realy desire. Then write it all down. then see what you are willing to adjust. Afterwards target that type of person. You might find out that thier are still nice guys.

Mojomike

p.s. I happen to be a nice guy and I wote about that this morning in my blog. Also another person mentioned that I was also a nice guy.


rm_mojomike 50M
45 posts
10/14/2005 8:57 am

First off, Write off all the jerk, you don't need any of them. What you need to find is a guy that will respect you. Is that easy? Yes. is the search worth while? Yes.

Maybe you have a high criteria for the looks, that might need to be adjusted. Do a review of what you really desire. Then write it all down. then see what you are willing to adjust. Afterwards target that type of person. You might find out that their are still nice guys.

Mojomike

p.s. I happen to be a nice guy and I wrote about that this morning in my blog. Also another person mentioned that I was also a nice guy.


Singlechick25 36F

10/14/2005 9:52 pm

Hi all and thank you for your responses. It's been a very long hard day today. And after reading some responses, I just wanted to clarify a few things. I do not assume that all men are the same. I don't like to be subjected to that either. It can sometimes be difficult to seperate one from the next when behavior is so similar (in certain situations.)

I know that there are nice guys and gentleman in the world. I suppose that I'm more disappointed in my poor judgement than anything. So many times I've thought I found a nice guy. Everyone aruond him says what a great guy he is. Turns out that they were great guys when they were involved with horrible women. It seems as though when they are with a woman who doesn't treat them like crap they turn into the a**hole.

Regardless of the reason for their miraculous change in behavior, I am almost always wrong about the men I date. I don't have any particular criteria for looks. I have developed serious attraction to men that aren't particularly good looking. There have been times when I've regarded what other people may see as flaws, as cute or sexy.

Okay, now I'm definitely starting to sound whiney. Well, I was aggivated this morning. Now I'm sleepy and content with lifes twists and turns and backhanded ways of providing just the kick in the butt I sometimes need.

One thing I think is that the people who were offended by my opinions and questions are probably the type that I was referring to. In which case I really don't care if they like me or what I have to say. But thank you for taking the time to read and post!


jim5131 55M
1296 posts
10/17/2005 1:25 pm

Frogger wrote a post a month ago entitled 'Hand'..or something like that. It pertains to women that need to stop looking at the GQ types and start looking at the AverageJoes..guys that will move mountains to make their women happy because they know they are 'dating up' and, as women are inclined to do, bring out the best that men really are by giving us a reason to do our very best.

You are still quite young and I love your attitude on this...please be patient..there are some really good guys out there. You might need to scrape a lot of jerks off the heap to find the real GoodGuy.

He's out there. Widen the blinders, but don't lower the bar. Expect a lot. Look in unlikely places. You're off to a great start.


DorianVampire 38M
20 posts
10/18/2005 11:51 am

WillSatisfyU56 is incorrect. Chivalry is dead.........And women killed it! Its hard to be the nice guy when all the women you come in contact want you to afford them that plus all the thrills of being cool, hot, dangerous, bad boy, bla bla bla. A lot of the nice guys died when women decided they wanted FAR too much in one package. Sorry to say were a dying breed.


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