|Blogs > Singlechick25 > Time for some sexual healing|
How to know what you're looking for
How to know what you're looking for
It's completely fascinating how I have to work through process of elimination to know what I don't want. I still can't say positively what I DO want because everytime I think I've got it -ooops. Sorry. Try again.
For example. Doing the internet thing. At first I wasn't comfortable meeting anyone in person. Okay, safe chatting is for me. Then came cyber sex. Boy that was exciting. For about 2 minutes. Only so many ooooh, aaaaahhhh, yeah baby's before I'm typing with one hand and yes, having a sandwich with the other. I don't cyber anymore.
Next step of cybering is what, boys and girls?? You got it. Web Cam. Theirs not mine. I don't have one. Don't intend on getting one either. That....well, that was a tad more stimulating but still. If I'm not participating I may as well be watching porn on the couch where at least I could be sitting on a nice comfortable cushion.
So, I found out that cyber sex and watching some guy yank his crank on the web cam just don't do it for me. Then comes meeting. Well, I already wrote about how well that went. If you didn't read about it - it went badly. So I even decided that wasn't for me either and didn't bother with the internet for over a year. Dated real live boys for a little bit. Got very depressed when I realized watchin' some dude spank his monkey was more fun than going on a date during which your date decides to show you (his friends and any other chicks around) what a stud he is. You know nothing impresses me more than a man who can poke balls with a long stick. Boy howdy if he can make a shot with one eye closed, they've got to hold me back.
Anyway. I don't really remember. Pretty sure I got an email for a sex site, wasn't this one - that comes later. Get laid tonight! Wow. Never tried a gigalo. Still haven't. Turns out the site was for adult dating. Does that mean that dating which doesn't result in screwing ten ways from Sunday is just kiddie stuff? So I joined up. Posted a profile. Looking for fun. I just found out the other day that if you say you're looking for fun it doesn't mean having a phone conversation or going to the movies. Hm.
Chatted with a fairly local guy for a bit. Probably talked online for a month or two before we actually got together. First NSA sexual encounter and it worked really well mostly because we had nothing in common, nothing to bond over. Talking was kept to a minimum. Had a wonderful time. Repeatedly. It was ongoing for about 2 months or so. While I definitely had fun and also enjoyed myself, I now know that I don't want a strictly no strings attached anything.
Then I ended up getting a pop up for xmatch and figured why not. Set up another profile. Simple, to the point. Wanted to check it out. Read some articles. Looked at some cock pics. Skipped the pussy pics. Don't swing that way. Exchanged some emails. Still talk and flirt with a few. If they're reading this....well no one I've talked to has had this much of an insight to who I am. I'm seriously out on a limb here. I usually keep my card very close to the vest...being this open kinda chafes.
Moving on. I didn't do much with this site for several months. Got interested in Flash Gordon. Didn't feel comfortable perusing a sex site while dating. Ironical. Flash exited stage left prematurely, so I came back. Slightly bruised but not dissuaded. Found the mag. Found the blog. Found a few great friends. Getting involved. It doesn't bother me too much though.
There is just so much you can miss out on by not becoming involved and not letting yourself care about the person you're with. I don't want to miss out anymore. So I'm going to attempt to not keep myself cut off from others. It's hard to change a pattern that's take an lifetime to develop. Wish me luck!
10/27/2005 2:07 am
Break a Leg Single. |
Nice blog entry Single.
So it would appear that Flash Gordon was gone in a Flash then. His loss you deserve better. Same goes for all the other wolves, shoot to kill Single they are just out to use you for their own gratification at your expense. Try not to kill to many nice guys with collateral damage fire.
All dating is tiring, via the web seems even more so.
What you need to do is like what success books say and that is to do your home work to determine exactly what you desire same as you would for a job, a car, a house, anything of value. Then when you have done your homework you will know what you want as sonn as you see it because you will have placed yourself in the prime hunting location for your particular "prey".
Take care and play safe.