Ahh, The First Post  

SincereSiren 41F
47 posts
5/26/2006 6:30 am

Last Read:
9/19/2006 4:45 am

Ahh, The First Post

Is it the sweetest? I don't know.

I often wonder what exactly is wrong with me that I find myself constantly alone even though people tell me they think I'm attractive and a fun personality. I admit I still carry heartbreak from my last relationship. I loved the guy and he was't honest with me. I'm a completely open and honest person and I expect the same from others, especially someone I'm letting that far into my world. So yeah I carry baggage when I wait on someone for two years and they dissapoint me.

I'm also a rather eccentric person. I spend a lot of my time involved in hobbies and work that could be seen as odd. I'm busy quite often and find that I've been single for so long, I don't really know any other way to be.

I've known happiness and having that taken from me has meant I also know the complete depths of despair. This is where I'm coming from now - slowly.

Fist over fist through the muck, I'm trying desperately to not become a very bitter, very lonely old woman. Some days are better than others so expect to see some depression through this blog. The sadness over-runs me some days; the anger drives me others and some I am just lost to apathy.

Such is the way of life.

rm_MrRite23 45M
156 posts
5/26/2006 7:51 am

welcome to the blogs. Have fun and i will check back from time to time. Being single can get old after awile. Mabey we can hit it off here.Ok i have to go.

ShaneLiveLife 50M

5/26/2006 7:54 am

I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience.

I believe that each of decides who we are - only you can decide who want to be:

.. a lonely, bitter and sad woman.

... or a sensitive, optimistic woman who enjoys doing things her way

Don't forget that life is not about about what happens to you but how you choose to react to what happens .....

I hope this adds something positive to your thoughts ....

Live with passion !

Ubermik 49M
209 posts
5/26/2006 8:21 am

I can identify with much of what you have written, but one thought did stand out above all others which related to "I admit I still carry heartbreatk from my last relationship"

It wasnt clear whether you were talking about relationships since the one you have baggage from, previouly or both so my thought might be completely eroneous anyway lol, but I'm used to that

If you are however talking about ones since then thats not surprising. No matter how much we try to hide "baggage" it will both through conscious fears and worries and subconciously through defence and protective mechanisms inflect itself in a usually negative fashion into subsequent relationships

Personally I think its telling us that there is a time after each relationship where if we need to learn from it either externally or with regards aspects of ourselves, things we did in it and our views then we will to all intents and purposes be "broken" where other relationships are concerned and until we have fully been through the process and come out the other side will be a negative addition to any relationships we try to have

Where people dont go through the process but instead supress the things they dont want to face, use other people as emotional bandaids in an attempt to distract themselves from dealing with it or delude their way into a replacement or rebound relationship the problems although buried continue to affect their ability to have healthy relationships until they DO work through the process

A bit like painting without stripping, sanding or priming, you DO get a painted surface, but its severely lacking in quality to what it could or should be

Theres a book I have heard many people talk about favourably which deals with ANY kind of loss from a bereavement to a relationship ending and even working if you are distraught because you cant find your favourite teddy bear or lucky knickers lol, because the brain and moreover the subconcious doesnt have different coping and learning mechanisms for each type of loss,, just one that is universally applied to all cases of any size in varying degrees

And missing or skipping working through one or more stages of the process has unique consequences with any situation where a sense of loss COULD occur and will iften be the catalyst that brings about that loss

The book is called "Mars and Venus - Starting over" and I have never heard anyone who has read it have anything but high regard for it, and have also had many people both say and prove through results that it has broken cycles just like the one you describe

I will warn you tho that it also doesnt pull any punches or sugar coat things and most people have also said they have had to read it in bite sized pieces due ti it having even the most seemingly hard hearted unemotional person in floods of tears due to the realisations and paradigm shifts it can cause or highlight

Anyway, best of luck for the future and hello from a fellow newbie to blog land


monkeyboy818 37M

5/26/2006 9:14 am

I knOW where you rcoming from. Sometimes it feels liek relationships are just to much work. Then all of sudden you meet someone else.

Enjoy yourself for a while and "whats meant to be will be"

Chin up >>>>>>

jockey212 49M  
93 posts
5/26/2006 9:59 am

I can empathize all too well. A broken heart will heal but only with the tincture of time and eventually, new love. In the meantime, I try to do what you do. I work on hobbies, and make friends. AdultFriendFinder is a strange place, and ironically, although so many people seem to be looking, it can be lonely as well. Good luck, and I look forward to reading your future posts

angelofmercy5 58F
17881 posts
5/26/2006 11:57 am

Welcome to the blogs! I'm having a sleepover at my blog....wanna cum?

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