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well here I am tonight , not really sure as to what I should speak about, usually things hit me and it just flows . But tonight Im really at a loss.
I have so much going through my mind Im not sure where I should begin.
1st Im pretty close to calling it quits to my marriage. I just cant get over the past. Its been a few years but every night I sit and think about her in bed with another guy and it eats at me. I don't trust her. I love her but , I just dont think its the kind of love she or I want in life. I'd still do anything for her if she asked . But honestly Im at a point where I just want to be away from her for good. I need her in my life as a source of Input where the kids are concerned but past that I dont feel any need of want for her. And thats not a marriage.
I want to be with a woman who enjoys someone thats "clingy" But understands when I need to detach from reality or life for a bit.
Im a damaged soul and I need to heal. But I dont know how to heal this wound. Im so desperate it seems that I leap in all the wrong directions.
Im not sure. at least I do still have my sense of humor. Most people in my scenario would be depressed or alcoholic. Of which Im neither.
If I couldnt laugh at myself a little I tink I would be dead by now.
But then again if you arent happy in life , maybe you are dead and you just dont know it.
4/10/2006 6:53 pm
I'm afflicted with the same "writer's block" - emotionally drained.|
I hope you find the answer you're looking for with this. Moving on and in another direction from this may be just what you need to do in order to keep yourself strong for your kids..
4/17/2006 9:04 am
Hey Tampafem, |
Sorry to take so long to get back to you , I usually dont pop in over the weekends.
It was really good to chat with you as well, hope to see you in the chat room again soon.