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Am I unwanted?
Am I unwanted?
I feel as if the only thing I am good for, here where I live, is as a live-in babysitter. Whenever I need or want to go somewhere, my friend always wants me to watch her daughter while she runs some errands. Some times she asks because her daughter is grounded to the house for some reason or another, other times it is because she doesn't want to be taking her daughter with because it late at night. I normally don't mind, but there are times when I would like to go out for dinner by myself, since I seem to be too ugly to be seen in public with anyone.
I used to go out with my friend, her boyfriend and her daughter, but that stopped a few months ago. Even though I live in the same house as them, my bedroom is in the basement. Normally I wouldn't mind this, but it is a hastle when you want to have a friend over, not that I have any friends here but them. It makes me feel as if I am one of the most unwanted people on the planet. I used to give my friend massages, both basic swedish and erotic, but I haven't done a massage on her since November, and I haven't even given her a hug since April. Sometimes it seems that the only person who wants me to hug them is her daughter, but she also wants to call me dad, and I have been found to be unworthy for her to do that, according to her grandmother.
Most of the time I feel as if I am in the way, and only useful for babysitting and doing dishes. Even though they want me to be upstairs more often, I am constantly getting bitched at about something, usually because I forgot to do something. It's usually one of the main reasons why I tend to keep to myself in the basement.