Why AFF is not for me....  

SigEp4U 42M
112 posts
3/19/2005 9:37 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Why AFF is not for me....

I've been doing a lot of soul searching over the last several weeks... lots and lots of soul searching.

I question everything... my love for my wife... she certainly doesn't believe that I love her, which makes me say to myself... well do I.

I know that I do... she is the only one that I want... at first I thought that I wanted to have sex with someone else... just for revenge... but of course that's just not me. It's sorta what led me to this place to begin with.

But I don't want that... all I want is for my wife to love me as much as I love her. Too have things the way they use to be... only better. Am I really that unloveable?

God help me... I know for a fact now that I wouldn't cheat on my wife... believe me I have had the opportunities... but what it all comes down to was that I was looking for a replacement for my wife... and there will never be a replacement.

Even if things don't work out with my wife... I don't want a relationship, especially a sexual one night type of relationship... it's just not me and that's why I say AdultFriendFinder is not for me, it is not my lifestyle... I have met a lot of nice, people during my stay here at AdultFriendFinder, a lot of people that I would call my friends... but that is all it would ever amount to... and no I'm not talking about a friend with benefits...

Does this make me hypocrytical... probably so... I feel hypocrytical even being on this site a lot of times... I know my wife would be very hurt to find me here... and that is why I am going to have to stop blogging... I don't want to hurt my wife... I love her and will always try to show her that...


To my friends... thanx for everything... you really have helped me... more than you would ever know...

Tala4u2 54M  
2961 posts
3/20/2005 12:30 am

Hey SigEp4u, I believe your integrity has never diminished mate. But you have found the answers to questions that were bothering you. Its gonna be a sorta shame not to see you around and read your blog. Your life and happiness are far more important Be happy.

Tala, Wizard of The Kingdom of BooBoBia, DEITY,

93 posts
3/20/2005 5:27 am

You are an A OK guy for foing this. Your dedication to her runs far deeper than you first realized. Way to go man. Seek some counseling for yourself and her as well if she will go for it. Good luck and may you have another 100 years with this lady who holds your heart.

rm_heyjay4two0 44M
56 posts
3/20/2005 6:38 am

I want to wish you all the best for you and your family. You are an honest and sincere gentleman. As I bounce from blog to blog , I always see you. You leave a funny little note here, then you offer words of encouragement to those that are feeling down & hell, I even saw you defending a woman whose serious post was made into a joke. I am sure you have made a dramatic effect on those peoples lives. Some of your posts made me see things in a different light. The post on showing signs of weakness was powerful. I am sure many men feel the same way, yet are held captive by these negative stereotypes.
I am glad you let us know what was going on and did not just vanish. Many people here consider you a friend also. You will be missed.

rm_sapphire71 45F
53 posts
3/20/2005 6:50 am

Well Sig....I'm really sad to see you go. I only just met you...but your blogs were a bright spot in my day. Is blogging on here really that bad???????? I know you need to do what you feel is right for you and your marriage. I can understand that.

You make me hopeful that there are other men out that that have the same devotion, compassion, sincerity, and commitment as you do.....to find love, and hold on to it for dear life....no matter how hard it gets. MANY, MANY people would have given up long ago. If your wife only knew how lucky she is to have a man who is so devoted, and wants only her.

I wish all the happiness I can give Sig.


All the good ones....come in to our lives, and seem to dissappear in one fleeting moment.

ReadyToTango46 57M
161 posts
3/20/2005 8:52 am

Sorry to hear about your decision, but like others have said, you have to do what's right for you.

Good luck to you!

rm_tkwswing 51M/49F
114 posts
3/21/2005 8:27 am

Hey you...

We are leaving these words for you from Dr. Charles Roper:

I Listen to the trees, and they say:

"Stand tall and yield.
Be tolerant and flexible.
Be true to yourself.
Stand alone, and stand together.
Be brave.
Be patient.
With time, you will grow."

I Listen to the wind, and it says:

Take care of yourself --
body, mind, and spirit.
Take time.
Be quiet.
Listen from your heart.

I Listen to the sun, and it says:

"Nurture others.
Let your warmth radiate for others to feel.
Give yourself without expectations."

I Listen to the creek, and it says:

"Relax; go with the flow.
Tend to what's really important,
and let the rest go by.
Keep moving -- don't be hesitant or afraid.
Lighten up -- laugh, giggle."

I Listen to the mountains, and they say:

"Be there.
Be honest.
Be trustworthy.
Do what you say you're going to do.
Be true, genuine, and real.
Speak from the heart.
Don't cheat."

I Listen to the birds, and they say:

"Set yourself free.

I Listen to the clouds, and they say:

"Be creative.
Be expressive.
Let your spirit run free.
Let yourself be light and gay,
but let yourself be heavy and sad.
Cry when you feel like it."

I Listen to the sky, and it says:

"Open up.
Let go of the boundaries and barriers
which you have created to protect yourself.
Experience change.

I Listen to the flowers and small plants, and they say:

"Be humble.
Be simple.
Respect the beauty of small things.
Respect the beauty of humility and truth.
Let go of perfectionism.
Love yourself as you are; it opens the door to change.
Practice acceptance."

I Listen to the bugs and flying insects, and they say:

Be productive.
Use your hands.
Focus on what's in front of you.
Ignore the past; there is only the present."

I Listen to the moon, and it says:

Share love.
Make love.
Be romantic -- touch and caress.
Allow yourself to be loved.
Be gentle, kind, and understanding.
Use candles."

I Listen to the stars, and they wink and say:

Dance, be silly, have fun."

I Listen to the earth, and it says:

"I am your mother.
I give you life.
Respect all that is around you.
Find beauty in all things -- living and not -- including
yourself; for we are all one -- not separate.
Be especially respectful to the very young and the very old,
for they are both very near God.
Give up the belief that you are a higher form of life;
there is no higher form of life.
We are equal because we are the same.
When you return to me, I will welcome you,
and I will set your spirit free.
Love and nurture your children; cook good food for them,
and hold them very close to you often.
Hold me close to you often as well,
and I will hold you in return; I will support you.

You will always be in our thoughts...

Take care... T & K

cuddleboy69 49M

3/21/2005 4:14 pm

Sorry to see you go.
You are not unloveable at all.
Sometimes some hard things happen and it's normal that they will hurt you and make you lose confidence.
Since you love your wife and want things to work with her you have to try. It's lucky to have someone to love, if you've read many of the blogs here (which I guess you have) there are many people here looking to find someone to love.
So to already have someone makes you lucky.
You can do it. Just try to be stong. If you love her you can tell her and maybe find a way to show her right? Do you know why she did what she did? Maybe understanding that can help? (sorry I haven't read all of your blogs ... maybe you talked about this ... anyway ... I think it might be something you have to deal with in your relationship ... as opposed to just sweeping things under the rug)

Anyway good luck!


3/22/2005 8:49 am

The best of luck to you ,I hope you realize your hearts desire ,may your family be whole again.

SexySquirterGirl 50F
102 posts
3/23/2005 1:06 am

You are a rare find! Never second guess your reason for being here, as you have touched many many lives in the short time you were here! But more importantly you were able to reach deep inside yourself and find some answers. You know what you aren't, which is ALOT more than some people can say. Without even realizing it, you affected other people... The words you wrote, the thoughts you've had, made an impact! You offered support to many people here, and made some friends. I have always believed that people come into our lives for a reason, we may not know what that reason is at the time, but utlimately whether it is good or bad, it fits into the path we have taken. For me, you made me re-evalute what I am looking for out of life, your blog was refreshing and honest, and reminded me of my dad who recently passed away! He is everything a gentlemen is, a true man should be. You are just like him!! Hang in there, talk to your wife, share your feelings with her as you have here. But please do not ever change, don't settled for less than you want, because you are very deserving of love, hopefully your wife will realize what she has and do some self-discovery of her own!!

Good luck and god bless! Follow your heart and be happy!! Big Hugs!!! SquirterGurl

rm_bella_ 47F
4030 posts
3/29/2005 7:22 pm

Follow your heart and you can never be wrong

DBolt69 46M
18 posts
5/24/2005 1:39 pm

This is the first time that I have read your blog, and I hope that you have found happiness again with your wife. I am actually a brother (SigEp) of yours, and wish you all the best. I am on this site for the same reason that you originally came on this site. Your post has given me much to think about, and for that I thank you.
I wish you all the luck and good fortune in the world going forward, and remember that following your heart is never wrong.


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