|Blogs > SigEp4U > Well do you want a good laugh?|
Well last night I started the weekend early… and this morning I feel like crap. Talk about a hang-over!
Last night I was in a real sour mood, just downright fucking- pissed off at anything and everything. If you ever heard of the group WASP then maybe you’ve heard the song, ”Kill, Fuck, Die” … I think that last night, the lyrics from that song, pretty much summed up how I was feeling.
I am pissed and violent
Someday you'll understand
I'm living to thrill myself like
The animal I know I am
I don’t normally listen to WASP, but had a friend that was really into that type of music… and for some reason the lyrics of that song stuck with me.
So what does my anger stem from? It’s just the memory of the affair… the mental pictures of my wife with another man. The weird thing is that all most all of my anger is directed towards the other guy… and very little towards my wife. That’s odd don’t ya think?
I mean it takes two to tango… my wife hurt me… but yet, just about all of my anger is directed towards the other guy. Normally I think that I handle my anger very well, at other times it’s just lucky for me and the other guy that he is not around when I get in one of these moods… last night was one of those instances. I think that he would have ended-up on the FUBAR side of life!
But this is not who I normally am… these are extraneous circumstances. So what do I do to handle these feelings? I go to the gym, I go for a walk, I do whatever it takes to just let go of it and let it out.
The interesting thing about the timing of all of this is… the other day I heard that they are having a toughman contest in my local area. That’s something I have always been fascinated with and at times have toyed with the idea of entering an event like this. What better way to take out my frustrations then to legally beat on someone who is just as intent on beating on me… sounds like a lot of fun doesn’t it?
Doubt that it’s going to happen though… I looked at the rules and regulations and right now I would have to enter at the bottom of the heavyweight division. I would need to loose 15 pounds in three weeks to get down to the next lowest weight class… can’t see that happening. So more then likely I am not going to take the opportunity to have my pretty face rearranged… by some big ole’ country boy….
Listening to ‘Megadeth’ ‒ “Angry Again”
Enraged my mind starts to smoke
Enforce a mental overload
Angry again, angry again, angry again
And again and again, again
3/12/2005 12:40 am
Sig, it sounds like you have been having a really rough time. It also seems as though you are handling it to the best of your ability. I have read all of your blog entries, you seem to be an interesting person that isn't just on here to "hook up". Good luck in working through things with your wife. I have been in the same situation, we didn't really try to work it out though, and it was him that was doing the messing around. Hope you have a great day.|
3/14/2005 10:48 am
Mackey... thanks for the concern, from what I have observed in the past the Toughman contest's that I have been too seem to be pretty well organized. In general I would say that I am getting to the point where I am looking at the future and not the past... there are still things that bring back the pain from time to time... and that's what was going on the other night.|
By the way... if you posted about your shit-kickin skilz in another post... I missed it... you sound as if you can handle your own... maybe I don't need to worry about you as much as I thought... ;-P
alicat329... Thanks for your thoughts... I hope that you can find someone that will treat you with more respect... no one deserves what you or I have been through.
Take it easy...