memories and responses...  

Shatteredglass_ 41F
0 posts
8/10/2005 1:10 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

memories and responses...

little gifts of words... given... and taken away...

Looks at a special thing...
Made of glass... That can be broken... Easily
Chooses to keep it... In its... Den
A... Protective Den
Shines a light behind it
Tis beautiful...


----
please dont stop talking to me, even when i am gone from there?

Smiles..Of course not...You are My friend
----

i am insecure in having others go through my things...

Just need an address
I will do it..Smiles


i trust you...
will i ever see you again? will you still speak to me? i'm scared... i don't want to lose my best Friend...

Smiles...Of course

promise me?
please?

I promise
And I promise to pack your things


i know... i will send you money as i get it...

Smiles...Take care of ...You...I need not ...Your money
Then...Heal...Thyself
Thats all...You ..Owe Me

BTW..I dont DO...Farewells
Itll be ok


promise?

Nods

i trust you...

----

remember... i will always be your Friend...

I will count on that

i will make you proud... i have failed so far... but i will make you proud of me... i swear it...

Your friendship has made Me proud
There is No failure in that


are we still friends? don't leave me please?

Smiles..Of course

Smiles...You will always be My friend


----

just don't forget me... k?

Smiles..NEVER

*hugs you*

We still have battles to fight

It was I..That lied..Not them
That responsibility..Is on..My shoulders


i know... and i understand... and i still trust you...

Smiles
It will..Get ..Better
Trust Me


will you put the butterflies on the tree for me?

Give it some time

Was just thinking of that at cracker barrell..Lots of Xmas ornaments in the shop..Yes..Of course


smiles... i'd like that...
thank you...

So would I
Was fun picking them out


----

They grey haired Man at the bar..Slumps forward a bit at the shoulders as He bows His head... Looking into the ashtray He missed... His newspaper is beside Him..Not..Read
He has an almost..Invisible ..Demeanor
Noone at the bar..Notices His tears...Drop into His glass of wine
He hears none of the chatter that He used to so love coming there
Head bent low..He picks up the glass..And swirls it
And in that swirl..Memories come
And smiles to Himself...Unnoticed..He wipes the tears
Says ..Hey..Barkeep...I'll..Have ..Another


...... please... i have tried to call... i have sent messages... please talk to me... please...

May need one...Or..Two
The crusty Irish bartender saunters over..Smiles ..Tweaks his moustache..Says..Want anything stronger ole Man?
His head looks up... tear stained eyes focus on him
Yes..He says...I want..To be..Stronger
The crusty ole Irishman stops for a moment..Sees the pain...
And Their eyes meet
He tweaks his moustache once again..Wipes the bar with a pristeen towell..Where no wetness was..Except for a tear........Aye He says...That you do
His head bows again...
Yes ..He says...What do you have in mind?
He grabs the old Mans hands..Looking about...To make sure noone notices.. The crusty ole bartender leans over the bar...Whispers something in the old Mans ear
He lifts His head..Slowly
The bartender..Moves his hands back to the towell..And begins wipeing again
He moves down the bar wipeing ...Invisible wet spots
Then proceeds to wipeing..Pristeen clear glasses
The old Man raises His head...Turns...Puts on His heavy overcoat...
Places His hat on His head... Turns to the door and leaves
Stops as He opens the door..As the cold winters wind slaps Him in the face... Turns to the barkeep..And tips His hat
Then pulls the hat down tightly..As He leaves...The snow of the opening of the door..Melting on the floor..Is..All..That remained

A lone man walking by the pub..Sees an old Man..In a sudden gust of snow..He shields his eyes..And when he refocusses...Sees....A Wolf running....Into the snow


----

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... i don't think i'm gonna last...

lol

and i'm trying sooooo hard not to tear anyone's head off...
Sir is taking great delight in teasing me... just to see if i lose it...

lol

it's not funny...
ok... maybe it's a little funny...
but not really...
so stop laughing... lol...

Smiles
---------

Is this the Guy that always says.."Endorses"

lol... yep

I HATE that

lol..

A LOT

so You hate it when i say... <<< endorses that endorsement... ?
lol

I now HATE the word

lol... why?

Because of Him...Tell Him to get a new line
"Endorses a new line"


lol... but... .but.... that's just Him... lol... that's what He's known for... endorsing other people's responses... lmao
He doesn't actually say it as much as He used to... lol...

Pfft

grins... ok... You got me to laugh... .lol...
i can't be grumpy when i'm laughing...
and that defeats the purpose of grumpiness...

"Endorses laughing"

*laughs*
You goof
lol

SEE?>>ISNT THAT IRRITATING?


yeah... sometimes... cuz it's such a generic reply... it's like... 'nods' but in an attempt to sound more eloquent... lol... it still doesn't expand on what their own thoughts are.. just an agreement in a generic sense with someone else...

gawd... Sir just ate... and He's already rummaging in the cupboards for something to keep His mouth busy... lol...

lol

He's gonna be grumpy tomorrow

Oral sex

lol... that's His other girl's job... and she went home yesterday... lol
she won't be back until Friday night or Saturday....

I see

*sighs* i don't understand this... why do i let nicotine have such control over me? i don't get addicted to other things? and if i ever thought i was addicted to anything else, i'd cut it out in a heartbeat... why am i having such trouble even wanting to give this up? because that's what it comes down to... i know i ought to... but i don't want to...

It happens
Orrr...**it Happens


chuckles... yep...

i mean... i never have been to anything but this... even my diet coke... yes, i enjoy it, and yes, i get a headache if i've been drinking it a lot when i stop... but i don't NEED to have it... it doesn't control me...

okay

this, though...
it is there in my head no matter how hard i try not to think about it
i want one

Your living environment is..Tough

well... i guess...
i mean... yes i planned on quitting eventually, but i wanted to do it in a more stable environment... so that there wouldn't be other stress adding to things...

Yep
Youll buy a pack on Wednesday

*sighs* i know
it would be different if i wasn't worried about so many other things right now...
like... who's place will i be at after september...
and... gawwwwd i really need to get laid... lol...
and... if i end up with that other Master's house... am i going to measure up? i know Sir says i'll do fine, but this other Master is higher protocol than Sir...

Dunno
I think..Till you get settled..Your stuff..Is safer here though


i dunno either... Sir's given me these glowing referrals, and i don't see that i've done anything special... i've just been me... *shrugs*

are You sure? it won't be gotten rid of when You're at work or something? i am worried...

No..it wont

kk... well... Sir still wants to talk with You about how to go about it when the time comes... if You could IM Him or call Him sometime soon...

To Me..It seems..You are not..Settled

well... i may never be completely settled... lol... but i have a place to go when my service here is over... either with one or the other...

I see
Trust Me..


nods... kk...

I havent been in that room since you left..And..Sunday..Was not the time..Smiles

nods.. kk...

Hey

i'm here

I was just thinking

yes?

I'll have hell to pay..But Im off on 2 days..Wanna come get your stuff?

ummm... kk... if You think it'll be ok
when? cuz i'll have to find transportation...

Im here alone..No fights
Bring A Friend..Ill make coffee


kk... lol
when?

Off on Wednesday and Friday
Lets make it...Happen.
Will be peaceful


yes...

May be best

nods

kk..Get back with Me

I'll await...I stress...This will be..Peaceful..I cannot vouch for any other days..The balls in your court..Smiles..Make it happen


All will be well..Youll have your stuff..Smiles
Best get some rest


kk... answer me this... lol... why can i fall asleep on the keyboard, but not in the bed???
ok... gonna try and sleep again... keep the dreams away from me, k?

kk..Smiles..Hey all you have is hours away..Be well

----------

Our paths have come to a crossroad

smiles... that doesn't negate our friendship...

Your friendship..Costs Me dearly

i am sorry this has all been so hard...
i wish i knew what i did to cause her to hate me so...

Well..Its not anymore

why did You keep my ring?

It was beyond repair

i know... but i could have kept it in my jewelry box..
it means a lot to me
are You going to keep it?
i will feel ok if You keep it...
but please don't just throw it away...

kk

i didn't mean to break it... it got caught in the laundry basket... i'm sorry...

Not to worry

ummm... .there was a mouse in the boxes...
it just ran across the floor...
lol
oh my
lol
it's kinda cute

A mouse?

yep
it just ran out the top of a box and across the floor

From here?

yep

Hmm

those cats aren't doin their job... lol
better have a talk with them... lol
it's exploring... it's kinda cute...

kk

Must be mighty mouse
To ward off 5 cats


chuckles.. .

Well..Was a going away gift..lol


don't be sad... what we had was a wonderful friendship... don't spoil the memories... true that our paths have changed drastically... but we will always be friends, even though we are on different roads now...

we share a bond of spirit... do what You need to do to be happy... do what You need to do to start living again, instead of the existing You've been doing... because that's what You've been doing... and don't worry for me... i will be ok wherever my path leads me... just know that i am always here for You and i always will be, and i ask nothing in return...

She has asked Me to block you

i see...
and You no longer have a say in Your choice of friends?
i'm sorry.. .that was selfish of me

She hates you..I seek a time of no conflict
For you..And her


i will understand... do what You must... i will be sorry to lose You... i hope You might still say hello in the room on occassion... but do what You must...

Tis a crossroads
And best to converse in the Room only
I will comply to her wish



i see
i do not say this to hurt... truly i don't... but only out of concern... but... truly... she Doms You...
i will comply with Your wishes

Goodbye

Be well my friend...
i am sorry for the hurt You have gone through on my behalf...
and i will always be Your friend...
even if You can no longer be mine

I dont forgive you for that remark

i know

Goodbye

and i am sorry

Contact Me no more

it was not meant to hurt

Contact Me no more
It is ended


---------

To my Friend, regarding missing items and unresolved issues...

((list of items))

to say the least, i feel betrayed, in that it was said that my things would be safe, and that i didn't need to come get them, and noone would do anything to them... i trusted that to be true...

whenever i handled her belongings, i did so with
respect and care for her things... i expected the same in return...

as far as my remark... i said nothing out of line, and what i did say was out of concern... said as a friend... and not to hurt...

... over an observation that you yourself have alluded to in the past.... as i said, as hard as it would have been, i would have abided by your terms... you didn't need to be cruel on top of it... i never took you for a cruel man... if you were looking to destroy the trust that you worked so hard to build, you've done it...

i will always be your friend, and i will always
care... but i am hurt, angry, and feeling violated at the destruction and loss of the few things in this world which i own... which you had promised would be safe...

and i want my ring back, broken though it might be... if you are no longer wishing friendship, you will have no need for it... and i wish it... as a reminder... even if of nothing more than broken promises...

---------

thus the end of the most beautiful friendship i have ever known... i think the most hurt came... that He couldn't say it to my face...

---------

a special thing, made of glass...
shattered in lonely pieces on the floor...
a Den in the depths of Hades...
light of the flames...
an eerie beauty...
as it shines through the broken shards...
reflecting wolfen shadows dancing on the walls...
as the spirit loses its way...

-------------

Linkin Park -- In The End

It starts with one thing
I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try keep that in mind
I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know

Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal

Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

.....

Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I

tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter


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