Are we designed that way?  

Sexysluttylady 48F
532 posts
10/12/2005 3:36 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Are we designed that way?

History, tradition, moral standards, value etc all bring us up to believe that it is right be be monogamous - but my question is - is it???

You see so many relationships break down due to infidelity and you see so many married/committed people on this site and in real life looking for sex partners to spice up their lives.

It makes me think that monogamy does not come naturally to us and we have to work at being that way - are our natural instincts working against the way we are trying to live our lives?

Is there anything wrong with saying 'this is the person that I love and cherish but I want to have sex with another person as well because I am sexually attracted to them?'

Could you live in an open relationship and not become jealous?

Could you live in a relationship where there were 3 or 4 of you all living together (a harem sort of thing)

Do you like the idea of an open relationship for you but would not want your partner to sleep with others?

rm_coupleNE 48M/41F

10/15/2005 6:43 pm

My answer is more concise...

If monogamy is important to you then make sure it's also important to your "life partner" - if you're gonna have one.

Im in love & it's great.

Whilst watching TV one day I turned to my partner & said...
"That woman is beautiful, if I ever met her & we hit it off, would it be ok to nip away & make love to each other?"...

To which my partner replied...
"No, it bloody well wouldn't. unless I can join in & share her with you"

Hey Presto...

If you're looking for love, you're in the wrong place. But if you've already found it or couldn't care less about it then crack on.

We're sexual animals & there's nothing wrong with it if that's how you'd like to play it.

In my humble opinion

_pretty_fly_guy 32M
153 posts
10/17/2005 6:03 pm

I think that open realationships are fun as long as both partners don't take it too seriously

CantonOhCouple 60M/60F
553 posts
10/18/2005 8:33 pm

We found that "opening" our relationship meant a LOT of talking about each other's fears and feelings, and left our relationship stronger than ever.

Priapeo 46M

10/24/2005 6:18 am

This is the most difficult question: Could you live in an open relationship and not become jealous?

I don't know. As always, the evidence of facts is the most difficult proof for theories... I can state whenever I want, that I don't care if my baby opens her leg to other men, but until that happens I cannot know for real what my intimate reactions will be.

I sure don't fancy the harem thing (on the contrary, though married i'd rather live on my own) and cannot conceive the idea of an open relationship where the only open mind is hers.

Never argue with an idiot. He brings you down to his level then beats you with experience

rm_curiousity49 66M
163 posts
11/4/2005 11:47 am

In nature multiple or sequential sexual partners are common as a means to ensure that the strongest genes survive and are passed on.
our animal side would indicate that our sexual urges are the same as other animals in nature and that the desire for monogamy is one inculcated in us by nurture not nature as a means of stopping the natural urge to fight for a mate and to protect breeding territory

borntosatisfyou 67M

1/26/2006 8:08 am

Well, the facts, as least as I understand them is the human mind set is to reproduce.

For men this shows itself in their desire to have as many partners as possible and spread their seed far and wide.

For women, throughout history, having the main responspility of rearing and nurturing the kids, this means they want a man to have those kids with that is going to stay around and provide for the family unit.

Hence marriage, a somewhat contrived aspect for the man to get what he wants(sex) when he wants it and for a woman to get what she desires( a helpful partner).

Under those criteria, it is natural to assume the parameters are going to break down, and certainly more than occassionally!

Men, we bastards all, lol, still want to spread our seed far and wide and you dastardly women still want to tie us down!

Damn, I see no end to this conundrum!!

Good luck in your hunt, all!

Become a member to create a blog