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Mastering Body Language
Mastering Body Language
With patience, persistence, and practice
you can use nonverbal behavioral patterns
to more easily detect truth and lies, project
a more confident, powerful presence, read
romantic attraction, CREATE romantic and
sxual interest in others without being
obvious, persuade, influence, and sell better,
put people at ease, create a sense of trust,
make friends … and even interact better
with household pets!
We realize that much of this is very exciting,
and you will probably wish to run out and work
with the techniques right away. Kudos!
But before you do, please take a moment to
consider this analogy. Working with body
language is something like being a jazz
musician. When (s)he performs, a jazz
musician spontaneously breathes ‘soul' into
her music, which influences the other
musicians with whom (s)he is playing.
However, it's a VERY rare jazz player who
is born with this ability. Rather, the majority
attain it by practicing scales and studying
musical theory. This experience gives
them options that people who haven't
studied the scales just don't have. They
know which notes are possible in a given
situation, what impact they are likely to
have in a particular sequence, at a
particular volume, etc.
It's only after such practice that they are
able to breathe ‘soul' into their work. The
scales eventually become second nature.
When this happens the musician no longer
needs to think about scales and theory, and
is freed to connect with their feelings and
the people around them, and their feelings
then unconsciously flow right through their
scales and musical theories, into their
Well, you are likely to have much the
same experience in your work with body
language (except that there are far fewer
scales to master, and there is far less
theory you must know). Initially, as you
try many of these techniques, you will
be practicing individual notes which are
not yet fully connected to your ‘soul'.
As such you may feel awkward and
you may not get the result you hoped
for right away.
But with time and patience, using body
language will become second nature to
you and you will ‘breathe life' into it!
Last, it's important that you know that
all people have built in B.S. detectors, so
body language is much more effective
when used to convey something you
genuinely desire, feel, or believe.
For example, if you want to put
someone at ease, you'll need to find
something that you genuinely like
about that person and think about it
while you smile, nod, position your
feet towards them, lean in slightly,
and pull your shoulders back. If
you neglect the mental component
and only engage in the “techniques”,
people will see right through you and
you won't have the impact you desire.
So, with these two considerations
in mind …
1) The fact that body language techniques
are like individual notes which only become
soulful, spontaneous music only with practice
2) The fact that body language works best
when you genuinely feel that which you are
trying to communicate
... go out and begin your body language