Friday is the Perfect Day for .... ?  

SexyRycheBabe 45F
1292 posts
1/6/2006 1:41 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Friday is the Perfect Day for .... ?


I have not had a single piece of email today. No!! I take that back. I did get one from the San Antonio Museum of Art thanking me for signing up with them. That blows! I hate not having email!! I'll get over it, I know; but I'm still going to whine about it anyway.

My date went well. Dinner and a movie (Memoires of a Geisha). Very normal and plantonic and pedestrian... the date, I mean. Not boring but no fireworks either. Just a very nice, comfortable time. About the time it might have been romantic in nature (at dinner) he told me a hysterically funny story that starred another girl so... it killed the romance factor (for me anyway) pretty quickly.

I'm trying really, really, really hard to not analyze it but I just can't help myself. LOL It's what I do [next to] best! Because we've started and stalled twice, I said we shouldn't label the relationship and, so, we've been trying not to do that. You realize how hard that is to do?! Maybe it's because I have different definitions for everything and that's why the labeling thing is so easy.

So, here's my vocabulary dictionary:
Friends: People who do things together but don't have sex.

Friends with romantic intentions: People who do things together, have sex and leave the possibility of a future (together as a couple) open to exploration.

Romantic relationship/romantic partner: This is a person whom you're with exclusively, have sex with and are involved in a committed relationship.

I think my problem these days is that while I'm not incapable of having a "friends with benefits" only type of relationship, I'm very resistant to it. I don't know why. Actually, I do. It's very simple, really. I want to be wanted FOR ME!!! Not for the sex I provide but FOR ME!

In the dissection of this relationship what concerns me is the following:
1. We want things from the other person that we've not doing ourselves. Like, for instance, I think he wants me to be more [what I call] showy-showy. More verbal in everything, more open in how I'm feeling, more enthusiastic or something, etc... but he's not doing that with me. On the flip side of that, I want someone who is more complimenting of me (you look pretty today, you smell good, etc...) and I don't do that in return.

2. Sometimes I wonder if we're not trying to force something to happen because of how we each look in black and white. In other words, on paper, we could both say about the other person any and all of the following:
He/she is smart.
He/she is funny.
He/she is attractive.
He/she is nice.
He/she is caring.
He/she is loving.
He/she is generous.
He/she is kind.
He/she is good in bed.
I enjoy spending time with him/her.
I like to talk to him/her.
I like kissing him/her.
I enjoy having sex with him/her.

We can't really find anything terribly bad to say about each other to justify bagging it and moving on. However, sometimes having all of that AND more, it still doesn't work because of chemistry or personality-meshing.

I will say this and it's very weird but in the times that we've stalled and not been speaking, I still find myself drawn to him. I'll have days when I can't stop thinking about him. That makes me think we have some energy there and maybe we just haven't tapped into it yet.

Who knows!!

trish778 43F

1/6/2006 6:05 pm

You did a great job of putting into words some of my feelings about a certain guy I had been seeing. It is difficult to not over-analyze sometimes, especially as females are so good at it!
Luck with him.

happyserpent69 47M
2 posts
1/6/2006 9:43 pm

Hey there!! Check your email, I sent ya one! <grin>

SexyRycheBabe 45F
820 posts
1/6/2006 10:30 pm

Yes, females are good at over-analyzing and I can take that ability to NEW and DIZZYING heights!! You can put before me a PAPER BAG and I will be able to analyze it for DAYS!! I only WISH I was exaggerating. The truth is, I'm pretty much spot-on when I say that.

Having said that, I know exactly why I flip-flop so much with this "relationship" (that, from this point forward, will be referred to as a friendship). I spent about a year or two with this particular guy in my mid-20s whom I ONLY marked time with. There was no great passion there. There was no love there. It was all a forced, lets-make-this-bigger-than-what-it-is (albeit, mostly on my part!) relationship. It was a "relationship" that should never have been taken out of the co-workers & friends category. And it took up so much of my time and energy and focus that I was completely closed off from finding a relationship with a man I could be passionate about who could have been passionate about me!!


YES! He is paying for my previous relationship experiences but I'm paying for his, too. So, we're even.

New mantra: We're just friends. We're just friends. We're just friends. We're just friends. We're just friends. We're just friends. LOL We're just friends and it doesn't matter that he's just not that into me.

rm_rwa4sex 65M

1/7/2006 12:39 am

It doesn't hurt to be friends. There are two ways to go from there - apart or more together, but don't dwell on direction, enjoy the time together , have fun and see where it goes. No planning right now.

SexyRycheBabe 45F
820 posts
1/7/2006 8:41 am

He says the same thing! And all I'm saying is that it's very hard for me to do!!! Control issues and all.

happyserpent: I did check my mail. I responded. Check yours.

trish778 43F

1/7/2006 8:43 am

I am currently chanting your mantra. I assure you, I observed the copyright thing, that is why this "comment."

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