|Blogs > Sexpunk70 > Random thoughts|
Nightswimming, remembering that night
September’s coming soon
I’m pining for the moon
And what if there were two
Side by side in orbit
Around the fairest sun? "
REM - Nightswimming.
How fucking dead on. Just spent the summer lifeguarding. Definitely ups and downs. I always get poignant and misty this time of year anyway. Peter Pan complex in a big way. I don't want to grow up. Anyway... what can I say.
I am recovering (I hope) from a rather brutal sinus infection. Just finished two books and am reeling from the prose. Chuck Hogan's Prince Of Theives. Brilliant. Moment's of pain, the way we casually wound each other without even trying. The weight we place on each other, the things we want and expect...
I knew I would be rambling here but I didn't expect it to be so random so "Pynchon" (I just pissed off some Pynchon fan in a major way).
Been listening to iTunes on "Shuffle" mode for the last two hours while I cleaned the kitchen and cooked. Didn't realize how much Queen I had on here. That or iTunes just has an affinity for Queen. Actually, it was a pretty cool mix of my music. I usually don't have any patience for the shuffle mix. Like when I actually sat down to expel some of my thoughts onto here I definitely went to manual mode. And whammo, REM and Nightswimming. How timely. Music has a way of doing that to you... Just smacking you with whatever emotion you are feeling (Especially if you are trying to avoid it).
So, something on my mind. I have no idea if anyone will even read this, let alone anyone this is actually relevant to but what is my deal? It's like I am a social leper. I know, I know, I am being all "Wahhhhhh, and whoa is me..." I know I have it pretty good and there is a lot to be thankful but it seems like everytime I am interested in a girl a wall comes up. That has happened here and in real life (yes I definitely don't consider this very real). Like, I met a very cool very pretty girl on Father's day in a bookstore. She worked there and we ended up talking for about an hour. She made a point of letting me know when she was working again and everything. I went in a week later and she gave me her phone number and we talked once or twice and then "Bam" that was it. Now, nothing. And I can deal with her not being interested, I would just like to know why. Ditto for this site. I get no reaction on here at all (except for gay men... which is flattering and thank you and I know I sound like a hypocrite complaining about no reaction while getting some nice offers but sorry, I am just not gay...) OK, whatever, I am rambling and whining and this must be boring. I guess I am hoping (Against all hope) that maybe one or two of the girls I have tried to talk to might read this and maybe give me a clue where I am going wrong. Thanks for your time...
"You, I thought I knew you
You, I cannot judge
You, I thought you knew me,
This one laughing quietly underneath my breath
The photograph reflects,
Every streetlight a reminder
Nightswimming deserves a quiet night, deserves a quiet night.."
8/29/2005 12:24 am
Gee, with a name like that, no wonder gay guys are contacting you. (I'm assuming you know that "punk" means the female partner in gay sex). Aside from that, in real life, my guess is that you are going after the wrong type of woman. Looking at your personality profile, what you wrote, the the fact that you like REM, and the fact that you are a lifeguard, you are better off trying to hook-up with the "free-spirit" type of chick - the one wearing flowing clothes, Berkenstock shoes, and she is ikely to wear colorful colors. Back in the sixties they were called flower children - you get the idea. I hope this helps.
8/29/2005 8:06 am
I didn't know that "punk" meant female partner in gay sex. Geez, if I had known that I assure you I would have chosen a different handle. Thank you for the heads up. Hmmmm, how about "BuggerMe" or "Queenfan"? Those are butch testosterone charged names, eh? Just kidding! Seriously, thank you for the comments and thanks for the heads up about the handle. Appreciated.|