Has it really been that long?  

Seriously_Real 48M
1458 posts
7/16/2006 12:54 pm

Last Read:
7/19/2006 8:20 pm

Has it really been that long?

It has been a while, eh?

Funny how the real world gets in the way.

I've been traveling, seeing my kids, and hanging out with My Imaginary. The kinds of things that I will have precious little time to do once this trial starts in August. I have a feeling it is only going to get worse.

Oh, and I met [blog 1hotwahine] while in Cleveland. It was just as you'd expect it to be. Her son pronounced me "cool," though, as is the case with boys that age, he would sooner strip naked and run through a Catholic girls school morning mass than tell me that himself at the time. He's a good kid -- you can tell that his Mom has a lot to do with that. As for her? Yeah. She's still all that and 15 bags of chips. It was not even a surprise that there were no surprises. (We went to the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame while we were there, partly because it was THERE and partly because she and I love music, and partly because she thinks I'm a musical idiot, which I am I suppose. The coolest thing I saw there was the handwritten lyrics -- written on a crumpled piece of paper -- to Jimi Hendrix's "Purple Haze." So. Fucking. Cool.)

Despite all that I've done in the past few days, it isn't that I've not thought about blogging. You would not believe the sheer volume of "Oh, I am SOOOOO blogging this" moments in the past few days. For some reason, though, I could never seem to get myself to a computer to do it, even though I had this ever-present laptop with me.

For example, there was last night when My Imaginary -- who claims to have an IQ 11 points higher than mine -- said she did not want to move to Europe because "they use the decimal system over there." Uh huh. Eleven points higher than me? Alllllllrighty then, honey. Maybe in the decimal system, anyway.

I could write about my trial starting up, but that might bore you and it might not even happen. My Putative Client might want to have another lawyer go with me as co-counsel. I am not interested in that. It isn't ego, it's what's in his best interest, and two chiefs do not equate to an efficient use of time or money.

I could write about the strange relationship I have with my ex-wife, where I'm still very close to her as a friend, but to whom I now feel a strange detachment, knowing that all the little problems in her life are NOT my responsibility any more. It is in my nature to be a giver, as you all have heard me say. If I can ease things for her, I will. But there are some times, and some things, that will not be worth it for me to resolve or insert myself into. Thus, I am finding a new freedom in, well, being free of that. She's a great woman, but not my responsibility.

I could write about the growing relationship with My Imaginary. In the past couple of weeks, there has been a growth spurt of sorts, a kind of deepening in the relationship that does not show on the surface, but underneath where roots grow. I'm coming to a realization about this one -- the old rules and old ways do not apply. I CANNOT GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING. She calls me on passive aggressive bullshit immediately, and, as a result, I have virtually stopped doing it unconsiously. We talk about everything, even shit that bothers us or is unpleasant. That might not be new, since I happen to be a "talker" of things, but what is new is that nothing is ever left "hanging." The measure of the health of a relationship is not how frequently (or not) that you fight; it is how you do, when you do, and whether you come away appreciating the conflict for the growth opportunity. Now don't get me wrong -- we don't really fight. It never gets to that point. Things are nipped in the bud, addressed, and buried.

At the same time, I'm beginning to see the future a little more clearly. I am in love with this woman. I am falling deeper, not faster or harder. There is a difference. I wake up every day and it is just there. It is not something that consumes me, though it is intoxicating at times. It is just simply something that is so undeniable, so present, so obvious that it is just a part of my life the way the sun is a part of the day.

I realize that I am now waxing on and on about her, again. I am trying to keep this in perspective, my friends, even as I realize there is nothing to compare it to. But I am not stressing about it. There is no need, no cause. It will be there regardless.

It's strange, you know? I have heard all this talk of peace, of finding yourself, of knowing who you are. I've professed to have accomplished that in the past, and I've been on that path before, but my hair was still on fire. The fact of the matter is that now, right here, right now, I have nothing that is not peaceful. I have two children running around my house, destroying things, and it is an ocean of calm. I have the opportunity of my professional life ahead of me, and I am as confident as Michael Jordan at the free throw line. I have a love I've never known before blossoming and growing all around me, and I'm just drinking it in rather than worrying about the gardening.

I swear to the goddess, people, life is so good I can't describe the feeling. How good it is to be back. How wonderful it is to have peace. How amazing it is to have love of friends and love of one spectacular woman.

How good it is to be me.

May all of you find such joy.

--Seriously (mind-boggled at the "nothingness" that is the non-drama of his life at the moment)

p.s.: It is probably no coincidence that the increase of peace has led to a decrease in posts. I have a feeling that the tenor of this blog is about to change. Who knows? I might even be funny again maybe one day.

p.p.s.: I have so fucking many comments that need responses. PLEASE forgive the delay. I am really going to try to catch up. I swear. Promise. Hand to heaven, I'll be a good blogger again.


MoonRise9 58M

7/16/2006 3:01 pm

Forget about needing to respond to all the comments. You've got a life to live. Keep living it. I, for one, would prefer that you have the time to keep posting, rather than get burned out writing comments.

I'm glad you're finding peace amidst the storms; that's the best way to be a competent Skipper. Remember, Amazing Grace lives within Gilligan's Island.


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:22 pm:
You do of course realize I might be the only human being on the planet who was able to get the Amazing Grace/Gilligan connection right away....

Addy19742 43F

7/16/2006 4:16 pm

Yes it has been that long! But I would much rather real life get in the way, and turn out as good as it is for you now! I still miss your posts though.


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:22 pm:
I'm making up for it now, though, Addy....heh. Thanks for hanging in there....

ArtisticTwist75 41F
2505 posts
7/16/2006 4:33 pm

    Quoting MoonRise9:
    Forget about needing to respond to all the comments. You've got a life to live. Keep living it. I, for one, would prefer that you have the time to keep posting, rather than get burned out writing comments.

    I'm glad you're finding peace amidst the storms; that's the best way to be a competent Skipper. Remember, Amazing Grace lives within Gilligan's Island.
Couldn't say it better. Glad you have found some joy.

Artistic


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:22 pm:
I'm pro-joy, don'tcha know...thanks Arty.

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
7/16/2006 4:58 pm

So glad to get an update on what's going on...and so cool that you and Wahine got together!
I'm happy things are going so well.


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:23 pm:
A good time is being had by all....thanks Sister Real. Slow down your posting. I can't keep up....

sexyariesgirl 57F

7/16/2006 5:29 pm

*BIG ol grin all over my face for ya*

Power To FOK


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:23 pm:
You've got WHAT all over your face? Oh....a grin....okay. Heh.

Smooth_GaL 34F  
424 posts
7/16/2006 7:59 pm

Good to know ure having a great time in life and don't worry bout not responding nor blogging as much as before co'z as long ure happy that's all that matters

{=}Smooth{=}


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:24 pm:
Thank you Smooth...and i got your e-mail. Thanks for that, too.

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
7/16/2006 8:00 pm

Who knows? I might even be funny again maybe one day.

We can only hope...

PS: did you tell them that we at least came to R&R agreement in that we both think Mick Jagger really sucks? And not in the good way, either. I forget, am I allowed to LOL over here?

PS2:
Hey, PS2 - my kid has one of those! Anyway, for anyone who is reading this' info - he's a cutie.

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:24 pm:
You're allowed to LOL here if you actually LOL.

Your kid is cool.

OboesHonedIambs 62F

7/16/2006 11:23 pm

Nice update. I'm glad you've gotten to tap into that peace of mind place. You've deserved it for a while.

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:26 pm:
Aw, hell. Well all deserve it honey.

seek_u_topia 51M

7/17/2006 10:53 am

I'm with Moonrise...don't worry about responding to comments...

Glad all is good...live it up!


Seriously_Real replies on 7/19/2006 8:26 pm:
Then you won't mind if I don't respond to this, then....

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