Climbing off the rock...  

Seriously_Real 48M
1458 posts
6/13/2006 7:48 am

Last Read:
6/15/2006 11:49 am

Climbing off the rock...

Let me make a confession. I'm in a dark place right now. This is a hard week for me. My divorce is final tomorrow. I have had the discussion at work that I've dreaded for months. My life -- my whole life -- is not in balance.

This corner of Blogville has kept me sane, sober and even alive. But it has been a crutch, I can see now. It is all I care about at the moment because the balance of my life that does not include my personal relationships is in such disarray -- and but for the friends I have here and the advent of My Imaginary, I would not even say that my personal relationships are in good shape. Hell, not even some of my relationships with friends HERE are in great shape.

I'll tell you what it feels like, at its worst: I feel like I fell asleep in the middle of a stream on a beautiful rock. Then the snow melted, the river started rising, and now I'm surrounded by rapids. I feel stuck...trapped....scared even.

I need to find the courage to come off the rock. I need to restore balance to my WHOLE life. My great friend [blog 1hotwahine] is fond of saying that there is no distinction between Real Life and Blog Life, because Blog Life is PART OF Real Life. And she's right. I simply have allowed my online escape shelter me from the things I have to face and conquer.

Don't get me wrong, I will not be away from here forever. I probably won't be away for long at all. But I will do what I need to do to ensure that Blogville has a role in my life, but is not the ONLY thing in my life.

So I will be focusing for a bit on me and my world that doesn't show up on the screen. I will be doing things that I have neglected. I will be stepping off the rock and heading downstream.

In the meantime, here's a comment I left for Curious-My Handle-Is-Too-Complicated-to-Remember. It sums up some things very nicely.

* To truly love is the greatest thing and the most miserable thing in the whole world. But we must.

*In the beginning, there is love. In the end, there is love. In the middle, there is love struggling to surmount all else.

*All credit goes to the men and women in the arena -- streaked with the blood and the sweat and the triumph that comes from the struggle. (credit: paraphrased and adapted from Teddy Roosevelt's "Man in the Arena")

*The only story worth telling is a love story. (credit: craptoast).

*Better to love and lose than never love at all; dance like no one's watching, sing like no one's listening, and love like you've never been hurt before. (credit: various anonymous)

*Living consists of action, and protecting a heart from the very thing that gives us life is neither protection or action -- it is starvation.

*Every action produces an equal and opposite reaction; every adversity produces and equal and greater opporunity; and every heart shared increases.

*The things of the earth one day pass away, and when we're left with nothing, only love will remain. That's what love is.


MoonRise9 58M

6/13/2006 8:02 am

Wild Thing Kermit to the rescue, in your mailbox soon

fallinStrgazer 54F
388 posts
6/13/2006 8:19 am

I been right where ur at, and it sucks bigtime. But u get through it by faith and friends in your life and u move on and become a better person for it. Good luck and keep your head held high. I have had to pull myself up by the bootstraps many does get easier. have a good day

angelofmercy5 59F
17881 posts
6/13/2006 8:30 am

I do understand where you are coming from. And need to get back in touch with the real world. We'll miss you....but you'll be back from time to time.

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
6/13/2006 8:31 am

I don't see you being gone from here for too terribly long. While you are away and you feel that sharp pain of a hair somewhere getting caught on a piece of elastic or something, think of me. We'll all be here when you get back. Some of us are just constants.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

rm_saintlianna 45F
15466 posts
6/13/2006 8:36 am

Hurry back and wear your water wings!!!

makemewetnow64 52

6/13/2006 8:37 am

wonderfull,i know taking that step is scary (and you will slip)but
keep going.Everyday gets better as the darkness begins to fade.
as they say theres light at the end of tunnel they just dont tell you how long that tunnel is.I hope the best 4 you.

southrnpeach333 50F

6/13/2006 8:53 am

just one more step in the journey to where you need to be.

boater1212 55M

6/13/2006 9:09 am

hurry back !!!

rm_bucfannn 61M/60F
2110 posts
6/13/2006 9:24 am

You'll keep your head above water, Real. Just beware of the ever-present undertow ready to suck you back under.

Take care of you. Everything else will fall into place.


digdug41 49M

6/13/2006 9:44 am

all aboard time to depart this station in life and move on to brighter point sown the line I know its easier said than done but you hang in there and I'll cya with the french braid when ya get back

roaming the cyber streets of blogland

hotmama3512 47F

6/13/2006 9:48 am

tomorrow will be the beginning of your new life! Don't waste it away thinking about regrets. learn from the past and use it in the future. The best is yet to come!

rm_1hotwahine 63F
21091 posts
6/13/2006 9:53 am

What we all need to do is this:
1. Open browser
2. Check own blog once. Comment.
3. Check five blogs once. Comment.
4. Close browser.

Repeat once in evening.

It's that #4 that gets us, yeah?

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

seek_u_topia 51M

6/13/2006 9:55 am

You may be in a tough spot, but I for one have great confidence in your ability to read a situation and act in a manner to meet your goals. I know of what you speak, being somewhat surrounded/abandonned/whatever else the rising waters visit upon you. Know that if you need to talk...

Good luck to you buddy and hang tough. You may be bloodied, but your not beaten. Fight on.

EroticaXTC 50F

6/13/2006 10:39 am

"The things of the earth one day pass away, and when we're left with nothing, only love will remain. That's what love is."

that's the one truth there is to believe

elbman 41M  
2566 posts
6/13/2006 11:40 am

The only true failure in life is not that you fail yourself.

aascrompn 42M
6444 posts
6/13/2006 12:39 pm

I guess I just handed the baton to you... I just got back to Blogville, from RL, and feel I've missed about a year's worth of information from everyone. You talk about a lot to catch up w/... sheesh!

Good luck!

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/13/2006 12:51 pm

Understand where you are at Seriously. As your divorce is final tomorrow, my whole legal process began today with mediation. But I don't want to write about it. It's going to be a long road.
But your quotes, all wonderful, all true. I believe all of that.
I know you need time to do other stuff.
But I know you will peek in, and you are always one of the tops in my list to read....I really care about you. So don't go away forever, eh?

countryheart_71 45F
8082 posts
6/13/2006 3:51 pm

You are a strong person and you can make it through this. Time heals pain. I was where you are now about 2 years ago. I'm living proof.


LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
6/13/2006 4:29 pm

If you're gone, whom will our world revolve around?

When you get your new divorce papers, can you lend them to Bulge for a few weeks? I'd appreciate that.

Thanks dude!


(P.S. I know you just got all hot seeing "whom" used properly as an object of the proposition. Goddamn GRAMMAR PERV!)

OboesHonedIambs 62F

6/13/2006 5:16 pm

I wish you well in your reentry to single-blessedness. There really is life outside of Blogville, and while we're real here, you've got to get out there ---> out there ---> into the air, with all the nitty-gritty rest of what's real. It's totally good for ya!

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

sexyariesgirl 57F

6/14/2006 5:29 am

This is a wonderful place to hide away sometimes....because sometimes we NEED to hide away for a while. But it's always good (and NECESSARY) to get back to the life at hand. Good luck! And know that others have been where you are this sucks in a lot of ways....but it's a step forward too! HUGGS....

Power To FOK

rm_corezon 53F
3376 posts
6/14/2006 8:42 am

Understood with hugs

sometimes we all need shelter from the storm, not a bad thing, but there's a time for all things and generally we know when that time is gee not like I haven't been experiencing my own moods lately...back and forth, back and least we have a place to vent and I know for a fact there are worse habits and addictions to have

sensualgirfriend 58F

6/14/2006 1:42 pm

I found your blog, today by surfing around in a few minutes of free time. From the limited time I had to read some of your entries, I know that in working through all of the stuff that you need to experience, you'll come out on the other side with new wisdom and a renewal of spirit. You have to walk through the dark side to reach the end of the forest. Blessings to you!!!

----sensualgirfriend, understanding stranger

bulging_boy 49M

6/15/2006 4:32 am

You are allowed to sit here and just scratch your crutch you know.

earthShiva 59M

6/15/2006 10:46 am

We are too dynamic to ever know balance as anything but a process of constant correction. Just think what a good surfer you'll become!

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