Ah, Karma....  

Seriously_Real 48M
1458 posts
6/9/2006 5:57 am

Last Read:
6/16/2006 12:09 am

Ah, Karma....

My ex-wife used to fancy herself an "instrument of karma." She thought it was her duty to cause bad things to happen to bad people (which would explain our divorce settlement, but nevermind....heh).

I've got a love-hate thing with karma, personally. I'm not entirely sure if it is what it is said to be or not.

But there are times I'd like to believe.

Like now.

Like now when I see my neighbor -- the one with the huge-ass "I have a tiny penis" Hummer H2 -- sitting on the steps, sad and unhappy because his gigantic substitute penis was towed last night. Aww. Makes me so sad.

Because, you know, he's such a nice guy.

Set aside the infinitesimal size of his unit for which he overcompensates by driving a monstrosity. There's also the fact that he has, not once, smiled to me when I've said hello. Or acknowledged my presence, even. And it isn't like I don't see him all the time...he lives two doors down on a common hallway...he sees me all the time. And he never acknowledges me.

Perhaps it's because he is about 5 feet tall. Or perhaps it is because his monstrosity does not fully compensate for his mini-him. Or perhaps it's just because he's an asshole.

You know, there aren't that many people in this world that I have an abiding (as opposed to fleeting) dislike for. But this guy? Yeah.

So you can imagine the glee with which I watched him pout on the steps, waiting for a cab to come and take him to the Place Where Karma Takes Penis-Compensation Vehicles.

I turned it into a life lesson for my 18-month old. "See, boo? That's what happens when you are a fuckchop. Don't be a fuckchop baby, or the Big Bad Karma Man will come and take away your soul."

(I'm pretty sure she understood. She giggled. And what's funnier than the Big Bad Karma Man absconding with your soul?)


southrnpeach333 50F

6/9/2006 6:02 am

Karma exist, or at least the idea of Karma exist...you get back what you put out. I am firm believer in this. and i am waiting for some good karma to come back my way right now...i sure could use some. sounds like you are getting some good karma these days.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 7:08 am:
I think you will get good things, sweet peach. And as for me? The sun does shine a little brighter, I must say.

PurplePeach72 44F  
9199 posts
6/9/2006 6:05 am

Hey Seriously,
Could you please send the Big Bad Karma Man over my way? I have an ex-friend I'd like to point him in her direction, but I'm not sure she has a soul...lol Karma's great when it's not you getting the bad Karma or you're getting the good Karma. Kind of scary that we might all get what we deserve, but that's what I believe cosmic justice.


Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 7:13 am:
Big Bad Karma Man is busy these days, but I'll drop a note in his inbox. He lives in my old house...heh.

And I really, really don't wanna get what I deserve. I think.

Phuc_Buddy 46M

6/9/2006 6:34 am

Isn't nice to know that the Big Bad Karma Man actually takes care of the fuckchops once in awhile? Well hopefully boo truly understood you and learned a valuable life lesson.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 7:16 am:
If the Big Bad Karma Man didn't do it, I fear we'd be awash in fuckchops even more than we are now...

sensually_4ever 42M/F

6/9/2006 6:50 am

big Bad Karma man's gonna get you...

Another way to say What goes around, comes around huh? Slightly more effective though. Kinda like the Grim Reaper Karma Man.

hmmmm... (ok my brains not working this morning and my usual droll humour is non existant)

Sens Spam

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 7:30 am:
The Grim Reaper Karma Man, though, he's tired from taking out Al-Zarqawi.....

bipolybabe 54F

6/9/2006 8:07 am

    Quoting sexydisaster30:
    You said "Fuckchop" to your 18 month old???????

    -Disaster(wondering what her first word will be)
That's exactly what I was thinking. It reminds me of "Meet the Fockers" where the baby's first word is "a-hole."

Maybe her first words will be gigantic substitute penis. One never knows.



Check out my blog Bi-Poly-Babe for more sensual, sexual pleasure!

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 11:45 am:
I think her first complete sentence will be something like "Jesus fucking Christ, lady, use the fucking gas pedal already!"....I have no idea where she'd pick that up from....

(disclaimer: I don't really say that when the kids are in the car. Promise.)

TheRealThing655 48F
9558 posts
6/9/2006 9:28 am

That is fucking hilarious!!
It's that whole "what goes around comes around" thing. I'm a believer too sometimes, and it scares me, because I think I shouldn't believe in that shit. But I have seen too many things happen in my life that I have no other explanation for other than Karma.
You tell a story so well.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 11:47 am:
I love to tell stories. The problem is they're usually not about me, and I am a narcissist first and foremost.

Thanks for the candy. Again. Now I know why I keep you around....

rm_cjcj9 41F
188 posts
6/9/2006 11:14 am

That was seroiusly funny. I believe in karma and the theory of what goes around comes around. I, also, subscribe to the theory of threes. I would have laughed,too, as he sat there waiting for the cab.

You can tell ,from your wit, your daughter has an excellent teacher. As TheRealThing655 said, you tell a story well.


Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 11:49 am:
Thank you for stopping by, CJ. And thanks for the nice words....you know, the thing about cliches is that they are always rooted in a common experience....and "what goes around comes around" can't be a coincidence to only a few people....

LIBlonde97 40F
1028 posts
6/9/2006 11:34 am

Even if he did say hello to you, he deserves to have his car towed for driving such and obnoxious gas guzzler to begin with.

I hate those cars; they are the epitome of American excess. I find them embarrassing. I think I saw maybe one of them while I was in New Zealand. If that. And it was promoting something.

Let's put aside the fact that it's an *enormous* waste of money...

How could you drive around in that kind of car knowing that your nauseating comsumption of fuel is what partially drives a war that has killed 2,471 American men and women as of today?



Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 11:56 am:
So, umm, what you're saying is....

(I actually agree with you, but I don't get political on my blog. Commenters, of course, are free to go nuts all you want.)

For those of you who care, I'll also add that my biggest problem with them is the arrogance of the people who drive them. They drive them because they are "safer." Know why they are safer? Because they are bigger than anything else. Message: "I deserve more safety than you." Unless, of course, you drive a Mack Truck. In which case, you are the SAFEST and MOST IMPORTANT person of all. The arrogance fucking kills me....

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 12:22 pm:
I should add that My Imaginary read your comment and said to tell you, and I quote, "Word, sister. A woman after my own heart."

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
6/9/2006 12:06 pm

Well I think your definition of karma could use a little refining but...

Actually I think (from attending the Church of the Wahine for decades) that karma is a lot more cause/effect practical than magic/mystical. As in - our actions tend to color attitudes, intentions and OTHER actions, which has a whole domino effect that involves ourselves, others, etc.

But that wasn't really the point, huh?

Off to get more coffee...

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 12:23 pm:
Ummmm....kinda not the point, but yours is the only church I'll attend, so I'll let you preach.

Get coffee and come back to make a fawning comment, will ya?

rm_gerson42 52M
2419 posts
6/9/2006 12:07 pm

Karma aside (gotta believe)... I would have preferred to swear from my Dad rather that reading it off the sidewalk at the park. Certainly a well place "fuckchop" here and there can't really do any damage.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 12:24 pm:
A fine point you make. If they can't learn to swear properly at home, where do you expect them to learn it?

rm_DaphneR 58F
7938 posts
6/9/2006 1:10 pm

Oh yeah. You know what's worse than some mini-penised guy driving a hummer? A stupid ass woman that can't park one.

Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 1:42 pm:
*refuses to comment on female driving prowess in any way*

JustaSeeker 105F

6/9/2006 1:33 pm

So you're saying that big cars mean small penises? Does this also apply to trucks? And what about boobs? Is there a ratio for that, like flat chested housewives compensate by driving Expeditions? And cutting in front of my sensible sedan and giving me the finger, which they do? This is all making sense now. I thought those women were just morons. Now I see that they're insecure morons. As for the menz, I likes the big trucks, especially if they has leather seats. Yow. Just keep it parked in the driveway and we's all happy.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 1:43 pm:
I don't know if the boobage-Expedition theory is correlative or not.

I do know that menz with big trucks have tiny penises, too. Heh.

JustaSeeker 105F

6/9/2006 2:22 pm

I do know that menz with big trucks have tiny penises, too. Heh.

So you sez...

I happens to know a thing or two about that, myself, and that is not always so. Heh.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 4:58 pm:
Well, I'm just spoutin' shit. WhatthefuckdoIknow?

concupiscentKid 40M

6/9/2006 3:14 pm

I hear ya!

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 10:50 pm:
Oh, man....how I do love a good shadenfreude....it used to be the ex-wife's favorite pastime, actually....

OboesHonedIambs 62F

6/9/2006 3:36 pm

Ya just gotta love the Karmic Collection Agency when it takes action on someone who deserves it. It can be so satisfying! I have a sneaking suspicion that the Karmic Dispensations Division worked overtime for you to get that front row seat on the Bad Hum(mer) & Wilting Willie Job!

Instant Human -- Just Add Coffee

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 10:50 pm:
That's hysterical....I wanna be a volunteer for the Karmic Dispensation Division....I owe them....

MoonRise9 58M

6/9/2006 3:36 pm

For those of you who care, I'll also add that my biggest problem with them is the arrogance of the people who drive them. They drive them because they are "safer." Know why they are safer? Because they are bigger than anything else. Message: "I deserve more safety than you." Unless, of course, you drive a Mack Truck. In which case, you are the SAFEST and MOST IMPORTANT person of all. The arrogance fucking kills me....

I am so with you about "the arrogance" thing. They're basically saying that their lives are more valuable than others; that it's OK if they go out of control and kill someone with their big car, but not vice versa.
It is staggering to me.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 10:51 pm:
I hear ya man, I really do.

EroticaXTC 49F

6/9/2006 4:30 pm

eh...what a never ending circle...born a fuckchop, die a fuckchop...be a fuckchop's hummer...now that's bad karma...

hey, can you say "fuckchop" 3 times in a row really fast?

Do you know what would be really interesting? Barbecued Fuckchops...

...and the insanity goes on...

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 10:52 pm:
Fuckchop etoufee, stuffed fuckchop, fuckchop a la mode....

jadedbabe78 105F

6/9/2006 4:38 pm

    Quoting sexydisaster30:
    You said "Fuckchop" to your 18 month old???????

    -Disaster(wondering what her first word will be)
Hey, my spawn #1's first words were 'fuck you'....he said it to one of the dogs (I wonder where he picked THAT word up from...heehee.) The words just 'oops' slip sometimes .

Fuck, I hope karma comes to my neighborhood. I have a neighbor who needs to get his (or hers or theirs). Fuckers were playing thumpin' loud music all night...it was still going strong when I left for work this morning.

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 10:53 pm:
Seems to me we ought to compile a list of fuckchops for the abglady's Karmic Dispensation Division to visit....

rm_cru1972 44M
4407 posts
6/9/2006 10:48 pm

so know I should not bring up the fact that I have a monstosity of a truck in my driveway. But even THAT has to do w/ Karma

Seriously_Real replies on 6/9/2006 10:54 pm:
That's between you and the Big Bad Karma Man, dude....that's all I'm sayin'....his problem wasn't his H2...it was him....and the H2 was just a perfect example...that's all..

rm_wetfingeraz 53F
3012 posts
6/9/2006 10:54 pm

I'm chuckling gleefully along with you. I despise Hummers and the selfish, self important, under-equipped people who drive them. Perhaps not the best attitude from my higher self, but, hey, I'm only human.

I drive a 10 year old Neon. I have a fairly large rack. Any correlation there?

Seriously_Real replies on 6/10/2006 8:42 am:
I'm not sure about the female inverse correlation theory, but just to be on the safe side, and in the name of science, why don't you show me your rack and let's see? Heh.

rm_1hotwahine 62F
21091 posts
6/10/2006 12:25 am

First you call me cute and now you expect me to fawn? Have you lost your mind? Hello! It's ME.

oh...Todd Rundgren...someone was just talking about him on my blog...

Yeah, I'm still [blog 1hotwahine]

Seriously_Real replies on 6/10/2006 8:45 am:
Heh. Yeah, I kinda thought that might cause you to react a little violently.....heh.

Todd Rungren is cooler than people think. I met him once when he was playing a dive in Jackson MS, and hung out with him for a while. He's nifty.

curious082385 31F
4925 posts
6/10/2006 3:43 am

Big Bad Karma Man needs to come and talk to me....I have a list of people that he needs to visit and several suggestions for actions that need to be taken against them!
*big wicked grin*

Seriously_Real replies on 6/10/2006 8:45 am:
You have spawned a post, darlin.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
6/11/2006 10:34 am

Big Bad Karma Man is gonna be busy for a while I see...

Seriously_Real replies on 6/11/2006 11:53 am:
Yeah. As you noticed, I started taking requests. Seems there is so much for the BBKM to do....

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