Money or Love?  

Serenely_Yours 116
10210 posts
7/23/2006 3:46 am

Last Read:
8/17/2006 5:33 am

Money or Love?

My girlfriend, Ja, is pretty and witty. She was from a not well-to-do family. In fact, her family background is rather complicated. She has two extended families but stayed with foster parents instead as her real parents were not able to take care of her. The thing is, her foster parents were also poor but at least they could provide what her real parents could not.

She is very hardworking and studied through the varsity, mostly with her own money which earned by giving tuition and doing part-time jobs and the help of her foster parents then things were better. Her real parents, I would say are truly good-for-nothing. Sad. So now, she is earning a substantial amount having the status of a hi-flying job. She has a problem. She has been with a boyfriend whom I do not know what to say about. She has known him for about five years and I know that they are really in love with each other. The thing is, the man is not rich, not highly educated and holds no proper job. She pays for most of his expenses, even gives money to his parents. I believe that love will go against all odds. Im thinking whether they will get married. So that day, she told me that she would be getting married at the end of the year. Im really happy for her... Guess what, the groom-to-be is not him! She has sold herself out of the passion she had for the man she loved for the past five years to a man she got to know from her company two months ago. He is not very young and divorced but he is very rich. She will be quitting her job after her marriage. And as far as I know, she told me that she had decided to dump her boyfriend of five years for this rich man. She said that she has to be realistic. I try to understand. I do. And she bet she would be supporting the family and his if she were to marry that guy. Well, it can be true as he even has problem to support his own parents. So I concluded that this five-year relationship is going down the drain because of money. Good in a way that she would not be stuck in that kind of environment again, since she has worked so hard to come out of it.

money makes the world go round. And it has also hardened a sweetheart of desired. I know that deep down her heart, she felt like a betrayer. But what she yearning is a comfortable life which he could not provide. She told me that the last sentence she said to him was, "You do not have to look for me if you become very rich one day, find a woman who is strong enough to stick with you through thick and thin but she is not me..."

Do you think you will have the heart to do this if you were in my friend's position? money is always one of the separators of a marriage or a relationship. Only love can fulfil the daily necessities and feed the mouths of your family. How pragmatic can you be?

٭ ˚ °◦○☻ Serenely Yours ☺○◦° ˚ ٭

devitruvianman 39M
71 posts
8/17/2006 3:34 am

money and love is equally important in relationship nowadays. hope Ja will find happiness with the man she chose.

nottycara 36F

8/1/2006 8:18 am

Her now ex bf then bf is a born loser. Nope, cant respect a man like that hence its not gonna work out.

Serenely_Yours 116
9198 posts
7/31/2006 7:46 am

    Quoting SensuallyKate:
    If I were to respond to this entire scenario, I would require far more detail and meetings with the woman and all parties that is as a professional.
    If I were to respond to this entire scenario as just a personal individual, I would still require far more detail. Complexities of relationships and indivuduals are that...complex, and a small post simply does not do the entire situation that is not at all a reflection on how you wrote this or any of your description or even you personal sweetie.

    As for your questions posed at the end, I am not the person I was when I married many years ago at a far too early age. There were points in my Life where the struggle of supporting many other's single handedly might well have caused me pause in considering a possible relationship that promised finacial comfortability. However one thing has just not changed with me over the years and that is my core purpose. I have learned over the years that i have somehow managed to support myself and others I was responsible for and I have even learned that I could literally do without anything at all including even a roof over me own head.
    (my apologies this has turned out to be so long)
    As the years have ticked by I have chosen the paths that meant more struggle for myself over any offered comforts at the expense of my core I gues what I am saying here and now is....I personally and only for me have found that I am best to not only myself but many others IF I hold out for LOVE....and as some know here I have been given the opportunity recently to Fall In Love and have another Fall in Love with final time in my Life.

    Finally, Dusty left a note on my blog saying you needed me to visit here.....I am loyal to my friends of which Dusty is one and therefore I honored his request. IF there is something you might need or wish to address, please know you are always welcome to mail me on here and get in touch with me.

    Take special care dear one.

Dearest Kate,

Thanks for your special concern and I did not know that Dusty had asked you to visit my blog. I appreciate that. If theres anything I need, I will drop you an email. No worries now and Im fine.

With Love,

٭ ˚ °◦○☻ Serenely Yours ☺○◦° ˚ ٭

Serenely_Yours 116
9198 posts
7/28/2006 11:09 pm

Theres no right or wrong. Individual has one's own perspective, choice and decision. It is just so tricky that one is afriad to move the wrong step. Happiness lies in one's hands on how to achieve. No one should be blame at the end.

٭ ˚ °◦○☻ Serenely Yours ☺○◦° ˚ ٭

chocolatcreme 104F
766 posts
7/26/2006 5:09 am

Agree with River on the part of security and HLC on self reliance. The speed wedding arrangement is kinda fast. Over those 5 years, she might have pent up resentment which she does not want to say or had been denying its existence.

goodtry 55M
918 posts
7/25/2006 8:21 pm

There is no right or wrong to this question. It actually depend on individual. Must people will go for money. I have seen people like that before. Well be it they will going to be truly happy or loving no one can tell.

Certainly money is not everything, this is provided that we all have our own means of making a decent living. However it is also very certain that money is very attractive and can do wonders.

The only thing you can ask yourself is, do you really need the money or you just want to be rich. Being rich doesn't mean you will be happy, live longer but very certain you feel that you are one level above general public. On the other hand being poor or good enough doesn't mean unhappy or unfortunate.

Each one will have to decide on their own.

happyladychat 47F
3740 posts
7/25/2006 6:45 am

Been there, done that, I'll choose security over love. What's the point of having love when we can't satisfy our material needs which is seemingly important in today's world? Sooner or later, financial instability will lead to insecurity in a relatiolnhip which ultimately break the bond.

As for the scenario you described, I think your friend chose wisely, although if I'm in her position, I'll choose to continue my work. Since there's no guarantee a person won't change, the ultimate security is still self reliance.

Sad, but we are speaking in reality.

Make it your challenge.... turn me ON!!

nottycara 36F

7/24/2006 9:26 pm

I would choose love over money. Love is so rare it almost never come knockin at my door. The hardest thing is for me to meet someone and i find him or her more and more beautiful every day.

rm_loneremily 33F
328 posts
7/24/2006 6:49 pm

I hate money. I hate that our society revolves around money. I hate poverty. I have that your love feels that way. Tell her where your heart lies.

Loreena_05 43F

7/24/2006 5:45 am

Love cannot feed the mouths. Money cannot buy love. What is so contradicting makes one to just let go of everything and stand on his own? In the end, what he has now is enough for himself but the hollowness in his heart can never be filled. He has hurt himself and the others without knowing. So what is love and in the eyes of Money? No one can tell him. But he has realised it.

rm_Blinded1969 38M
916 posts
7/24/2006 5:15 am

hmmmm, money or love? we need thm both lah.... whatever the situation is you hafta weigh both the pros n cons.... thats why money rules in this world... love only come second, perhaps third? sex is second! LOL.....

mr_simply_me 44M
842 posts
7/23/2006 11:19 am


well what is love?? A friend asked!

Can we really define love?

Well... for one... I think to be happy is the most important... To love or to be loved... well.. as long as you are happy with the situation and have no regrets....

Love.... may not be that important...


Hope I make sense here...


rm_riversexam 44M

7/23/2006 10:08 am

She has been with a boyfriend whom I do not know what to say about. She has known him for about five years and I know that they are really in love with each other. The thing is, the man is not rich, not highly educated and holds no proper job. She pays for most of his expenses, even gives money to his parents.

Security is definitely what your girl friend is looking for. The boy friend properly did not do enough to assure her that. The fear of poverty has got the better of her.

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