And so it begins...  

Serendipity4u2c 50M/49F
15 posts
10/16/2005 11:26 pm

Last Read:
5/30/2008 10:00 pm

And so it begins...

Here we are; "playing" a bit for the first time in this type of arena.

It is all new to us so we are shoo in the "baby step" phase. We've posted in cyberspace before on photo sites, chat rooms & bulletin boards, but this level of interaction is a new step for us.

Feel free to leave us comments & enlightenment to help us learn all about how this works. Tips & tricks are also more than welcome.

We are both pretty open so you can ask us anything & you'll very likely get not only an answer but an honest one.

So let's get to know each other.

We'll pop in soon

kmeeee123 49M/48F

10/20/2005 9:18 pm

it's new for you and it's new for us. Like you two we also plan on taking things slow, we would much rather make good friends then have a one time sexual encounter....doesn't some sort of connection make the sex better anyways?? hopefully we'll catch up on IM!!

Geno (Kel is at work)

Serendipity4u2c 50M/49F

10/21/2005 8:08 pm

Hey you!

I couldn't agree more about the connection thang! It sooo makes that whole horizontal mambo way more than just in & out.


Serendipity4u2c 50M/49F

10/22/2005 7:13 am

Well the hubs & I had a few questions. Anyone is welcome to offer answers. We're just trying to learn the ropes & figure out the meanings of the various actions & such here at AdultFriendFinder.

A "Wink": What does this mean? We, at first, thought we'd just wink back at anyone who winked at us. Does, however, a "wink" indicate interest or just a "nice pix" or something more? We didn't want to give anyone any wrong impressions of interest from our part. However, I'm also that typical "nicey nice" kinda person who feels compelled to always repay a kindness or acknowledge a compliment & the like. So if someone "winks" at us is our "wink" back simply a "thanks", a "right back atcha", a "you/ya'll are hot too", or is there some more elborate or comlicated inuendo or meaning to it? Someone please help us out here.

The "Hotlist": If we are added to someone's "Hotlist" what does that mean? Are they just kinda bookmarking us to go back & periodically check or profile for either new info or new pix or something like that? Is it a sort of "saved favorites" kinda list so they can remember that they found us interesting a some point & may want to contact us but not just yet? Do they just want to keep an eye on us even though we may well not be a good match for them just because they liked the way we do out pix or something. Since folks can see when they've been added to a "Hotlist" does that alert them that the person(s) that added them have interest in them?

Again, we're pretty clueless here & would hate to disappoint anyone but either doing or not doing something in response to something they had done like "winked" back at a "wink" or not added to our "Hotlist" someone who had added us to theirs.

I have a very strange feeling that I'm making all this way more complicated than it needs to be or is so if that's the case let me know that too.

The bumbling newbies ride again!
~Mrs. S

kmeeee123 49M/48F

10/22/2005 1:29 pm


hotlist=also equals interest and in our case one of us needs to show the other who we are looking at (working odd hours does that!)

If we find a couple interesting/attractive or whatever we will send a wink and then usually follow up with and email

winks are also used by "standard" to let paying members that they would like to open a line of communication (standard members cannot email on AdultFriendFinder)

as far as disappointed by others...we're all adults here (at least we should be) and if you don't find a person/persons attractive or interesting do not wink back or add to hotlist....why get someone's hopes up???

anyways that's our two cents worth, anyone else??

Serendipity4u2c 50M/49F

10/22/2005 11:22 pm

Thanks, Geno. That's pretty much how we were thinking it worked.

Anyone else wanna chime in; I'd love to hear it

rm_hotcouplemtz 45M/44F

11/13/2005 5:29 am

i want to fuck the shit out of you sexy

Serendipity4u2c 50M/49F

11/13/2005 9:03 pm

My! Don't hold back now tell us how you really feel. Heh heh heh!

kmeeee123 49M/48F

11/14/2005 6:47 pm

wow! Straight forward and too the point!

rm_Tygaz 45M
1 post
11/20/2005 1:47 am

First of all I'm very empathic. I know all about someone in the first 30 seconds of meeting them.I know if we're gonna be good friends or if this person wants to sleep with me.
Then in 3 minutes I have the person telling me their whole life story. Their bad habits and good habits,their personal problems.Usually things they wouldn't dare tell anyone else.I just listen and soak in all the information from the person. I tell them what I think and tell them what might happen to them in the near future if they take certain actions.Then people leave me feeling good about theirselves.
I know the outcome of many things 75% of the time.But when I'm right I'm really right but when I'm wrong I'm really wrong.(wrong is rare for me though)I only wish I could that with the lottery!
I have a strange circle of friends and a evolving mind.

trekprn 60M  
238 posts
11/29/2005 2:28 pm

I look at a wink as indicating interest as well. The hotlist I see as more of a management tool that AdultFriendFinder puts out here so that the user knows who is of interest and what is the nature of the contacts instead of trying to keep a separate record of this (unless one has an exemplary set of neurons for memorizing this sort of stuff).

odin925 57M

1/27/2006 2:01 pm

The other thing about winks and hotlists, when I am a standard member, (in between the times that I am a paying member...) I send winks to let someone know I am interested, but I can only send 10 winks per day. When I run out of winks, I put the profiles I find interesting in my hotlist, so I remember to wink at them when I can...

BTW, you are in my hotlist now...

Serendipity4u2c 50M/49F

1/28/2006 11:26 am

Thanks for all the good input, ya'll!

It really helps to get a feel for how the workings of AdultFriendFinder come together.

I'm one of those people who avoids being rude at all costs, practically. Knowing how things are perceived in a new environment helps me avoid being mistaken as rude simply because I didn't understand the "rules", so to speak.

I think I am getting the hang of things so far.

Now, new subject, kinda....

Friends list:

I have simply accepted everyone who has sent us a friend invitation. I figure you just can't have too many friends, ya know. But just in case I should re-think my policy, what does being accepted to a friend's list insinuate?

I'm sure we have folks in there to whom we don't necessarily have an attraction. There are folks that we did find attracting too, however. We just figured that it's always good to meet like minded folks with which to perhaps, hang out, get to know, etc, even if we didn't have any desire to ever "get with" them in any ways sexual.

Is that wrong?

Am I sending the wrong message by accepting the friend invitations of all cumer? (pun intended, heh heh heh)

Help!! Newbie here, still trying to figure out how this all works.

sanmarcus 63M
14 posts
3/10/2006 12:03 pm

I will use a wink when I see a profile I like but don't match their want's well. Just a way to show interest and allow them to decide. Friend invitations are a way to 1. Pad your profile. (Makes it look like your for real) 2. A way for pervs to work their way into getting pic's off of you. By far the best way to meet other couples is to actually attend a swing lifestyle event. Barry and Shell's in Oakland in your Area is a good place to go. Every couple there is for real. Mix, mingle, meet and from there you meet couples that hold private parties. Or if your interested in throwing parties yourself swing venues are a good way to screen for guests that you would like to have in your house. I have found that the "for real" community is actually very small. I have met couples that I saw at one venue and see them again in other venues close by, across the State or even in Jamaica and such. The vast majority of profiles on sites like this are wanna be's and perv's. Also known as flakes and fakes.

d2f925 33M

6/4/2008 1:06 pm

hi, how r u? what are u looking for? i would like too get to know and chat. im stilling trying to get a feel for this site

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