Our form of Open Marriage  

Senseyoualize 51M
13 posts
5/15/2006 7:51 pm
Our form of Open Marriage


I recently moved to the Kansas City area after being "right sized" at my former job back in Texas. Part of that move included moving-on and leaving my lover of 2 years behind there. Those 2 years were quite wonderful and they'd have gone on many more if it wasn't decided that a move to KC was really in the best interest of my family (because we had lots of family here in KC...and none nearby in Texas).

I wanted to examine here what made that relationship so wonderful - maybe as a way to give someone else insight into how my lover might be interested in the kind of arrangement we had.

So some background in case you haven't been reading my profile or other blog messages: I'm married and in an open marriage. My wife and I allow each other to have other lovers - lovers with whom we're allowed to have long term relationships with with strings and all, if we choose to do so. It may be a form of polyamory (I'm guessing...but haven't really researched it), though we don't have live-in lovers.

There have been some people who have questioned how someone would want to be my lover - after all, I'm in a stable marriage and any lover I have would only get to see me one or two times a week, on average.

But the time we DID get together was so much more meaningful than the time most married people spend together. Consider the married couple of today - they have jobs, taking care of the kids, dealing with bills, mowing the lawn, fixing dinner...all the things that happen that make a family tick - and all the things that become part of a married couple and that take-away from the starry-eyed bliss of when they first met.

Compare that to my lover - whenever we were together, all that mattered was us. We put aside everything in our lives and focused on our own romance. Whether it was hanging out at the flea market, antiquing, having dinner, seeing a movie, or having mind-blowing sex, we put aside the rest of the world and immersed ourselves in each other. For two years, we were able to be completely head over heels with each other and we left the rest of the world to itself when we were entertwined.

We always had to go back to our regular lives - but we knew that when we were together, we could put those normal stresses far away.

So, in a sense, a relationship with me is more powerful and more filled with passion and romance than a "normal" one where a couple gets used to each other being around every day. Granted, some people LIKE that - and more power to 'em. However, there are some of us that prefer to take pleasures in small bites - so that they last longer and persist over time. That is what I'm looking for again. Perhaps you may be the one?

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