Scott's Chat Room Truths  

Scott_in_Tulsa 45M
1611 posts
5/10/2006 7:30 am

Last Read:
8/24/2008 8:29 am

Scott's Chat Room Truths


Having been online since the Bulletin Board days, when the information super highway was still a dirt road (early 90s). I've spent a lot of time in chat rooms. I'm a chat room veteran and i have the battle scars to prove it. During my time in the trenches, i've come to realize some very basic truths about online chat rooms. I will share these with you.

1. If you come into a room and ask Age/Sex/Location ? You're an idiot. Not only are you an idiot, you're a lazy idiot. Read a profile !

2. If you can convince a woman to have sex with you the first time you chat with her, chances are she's offered that same service to more guys then you are comfortable counting.

3. If you have unprotected sex with more then two regulars in a chatroom, you've done the whole chat room by proxy.

4. Online everyone is beautiful, well built, successful, healthy, and single. It's only when you meet them in the real world that they have to bring their less-then-perfect selves along. But that's ok because so did you.

5. If you find yourself chatting with a sexually aggressive woman, chances are she's really a man.

6. Every woman you want to hit on has at least one other guy working on her as well, and this ratio goes a lot higher if she's actually attractive.

7. If you are a married man looking for an affair in a chat room, I'd suggest trying the married women. Also email me so that i may entertain your wife while you're busy elsewhere.

8. If you are a married woman looking for an online affair, the only people who will have a problem with this is your husband and the other women you beat out for Mr. ChatRoomStud's attention.
Fear the other women more then your husband.

9. Men use this to see how you rate:

Do you have a good looking picture of something other then your dick ? (10 points)

Do you have a job ? (10 points)

Do you have a car ? (10 points)
Does the car actually run ? (20 points)
Does the car look good enough that it doesn't embarrass you ? (30 points)

Do you live with your mother ? (-50 points)

Do you have a bedroom that you don't share with anyone else ? (100 points)

Can you type in a complete sentence ? (40 points)

Do you have a full set of teeth ? (100 points, minus 20 points for each missing or blackened tooth, minus 100 if they are front teeth)

Can you hold an intelligent conversation about something other then sex ? (500 Points)

Can you hold an intelligent conversation about what SHE wants to talk about. (1000 points)

Rate yourself

1820 Points = Chat Room Love God (or Bullshit Artist)
1819 - 1650 = A Real Human Being
1649 - 1500 = Mildly Desperate
1499 - 790 = Charity Case
789 - 0 = Look for your next date at the homeless shelter

10. Women see how you rate:

Can you fit inside a regular automobile ? (100 Points)

Do you speak english ? (100 points)

Do you have less facial hair then your date ? (100 points)

Rate Yourself :

300 Points: Chat Room Love Goddess
200 Points: Chat Room Hottie
100 Points: Available
0 Points : Homeless Shelter Hottie

"We are all worms, but i like to think of myself as a glow-worm" - Winston Churchill


bustybeautybbw 63F

10/13/2007 1:11 am

damn i guess i will have to shave to get 300 points


rdy4luvnTX 37F

10/11/2007 6:24 am

I remember this but I can't recall where??? Fill this old head in, Love ya ~~~Da Goddess

Behind every successful person is a pack of fucking haters!


WhaleBlokeSages
(What the fuck is this shit..?? *rolls eyes*)
105F

10/10/2007 6:38 am

LMOA@ this one..I went into a chat once..key word here...I felt like a piece of meat that had just been tossed into a pool of hungry piranhas..No Thanks..!!

LOOK I'm hang'en around Scott..e-mail me PLEASE I SO want to get to know YOU ..!!.. Ya insecure twit..!!

Ready


rm_Nghty14Fun 51F
912 posts
10/9/2007 8:37 pm

LMAO...this is awesome! Reminds me of the old chatting days. The sad thing is that you're spot on with your "truths".


Scott_in_Tulsa replies on 10/10/2007 9:21 pm:
yeah well , i've used these truths as a stock joke even back then, the fact that it hits so close to the truth makes it timeless

Become a member to create a blog