Fuck him....WHY do I deal w/ him?  

SaucyNSassy 38F
2021 posts
4/12/2006 6:22 am

Last Read:
4/25/2006 10:23 pm

Fuck him....WHY do I deal w/ him?

Seriously, I think I am sick. I mean, I know that after I go see this asshole in Dallas next week things will be even worse.
However, I want to see him and as bad as I want to not call him again and not answer his calls, I know I will. I won't call him again but I will answer if he calls me.
He is one of the most selfish jerks I have ever come across.
WE are talking and I tell him, " I miss the way things used to be when you called me all the time and text msgd me all the time, sometimes just to say you loved me" He said..."Well, that was when I thought I had a chance with you" and I said, " So, because I won't leave and marry you... you don't pay any attention to me anymore?" and he said... "look, you won't leave for me" and I said, "I want kids and you are selfish" He said "I'm selfish?????" and I said yes, " you have experienced writing in your journal w/ Amy (his ex wife) everyday and seeing her grow and being in the delivery room holding HER hand and being apart of your daughters life as she grows up for 6 yrs now and b/c you have already experienced that you can tell me to let go of my dream of having it" and he said, "I'm not telling you that you can't have any kids, I'm telling you that I won't have kids w/ you.... I don't have the fucking money for more kids" WELL< HE HAD THE FUCKING money TO RAISE HIS EX WIFES SON WHO ISNT EVEN HIS!!! GRrrr... and yes, I know that was before I came along but damnit.
He really is an asshole. I understand finances playing a big issue but I just feel like God provides when you need things.
He was hungover this morning. Got way too drunk last night at a bar watching the Rangers game. Idiot! So, when I talked to him this morning he was just being an ass and putting words into my mouth. Finally he said "this is the worst time for us to be talking, I'm hungover, late for work, cranky and its not your fault but anything you say is going to piss me off right now!" I just said goodbye and hung up. I don't need to deal w/ him but I do.


If you are bored...here's a little more about John the jerk from Dallas.
Like We Never Loved At All....

nightnsa 48M  
415 posts
4/12/2006 6:39 am

sweetie...i hate to tell you this, but i am going to give you some tough love....LOSER..........you can do better and deserve better...have you lost your mind??? their are alot of good sucessful guys out their who would adore you....don't sell yourself short....set your standards high..
Zig Ziglar says...if you aim at nothing you will hit it every time...

too many fish in the sea...

i hope i did not piss you off...but damit...get rid of the dead weight and move on......

ok you can write me back and tell me what an a hole i am....sorry i don't mean to be....but you can do a hell of alot better than that crap

Cainseviltwin 36M

4/12/2006 6:47 am

Why? Are you going just because you're horny? Because you pity him? Is there some guilt that makes you keep going back to this guy? If there are feelings for him, I think you're better off cutting it off and dealing with your hurt feelings and loss than continuing the torturous mindplay of whatever is going on between the two of you.

Don't go. Call Jadey and talk for an hour, then call me and talk for an hour, then call man77 and talk for an hour. the night will be filled with pleasant friends and you can take the steps towards extracating yourself.

Disclaimer: i'm not in the situation. any advice i give is based on incomplete information.

jadedbabe78 105F

4/12/2006 10:48 am

Sweetie...DON'T FUCKING GO!!!!! You deserve so much better than that asshole.

Yes, kids are costly...but you know what??? YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT WORK!! And if he loved you, he would give you at least one and MAKE IT WORK!!!

He's an ass who doesn't deserve to breath the same air as you do.


rm_smosmof2 67M
3240 posts
4/12/2006 11:01 am

>>God provides when you need things.

Sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Too much like my ex-wife's attitude "there's always more where that came from."

Not any more there isn't....

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
4/12/2006 11:31 am

Ok I hate to be the bad guy here but sometimes it has to be done.
It looks like to me you are both being selfish. Him more so. He is willing to take from you without giving in return. He wants to talk to you on his terms and is willing to take sex from you but does not want to give you what you want, need and desire.
There are times when you are unhappy with your marriage and want someone that will give you the good sex and hold you afterwards. You know he isn't going to give you more but there are times when you are unhappy enough that you will take from him what little he will give you. 2 or 3 days (maybe weeks) later you will be just as unhappy as you are now. There is nothing wrong with wanting this but its maybe best to wait for someone who can do this for you without giving you the heartache.
I don't buy his excuse about not being able to afford more kids. Very few people can afford to have children before they have any, but the money is found 9 months later whether they like it not. As an outsider looking in it looks more like an excuse not to give you the commitment that you desire and deserve. In his eyes he's made his family and doesn't want more, its not about money.
If he loved you like he says he does he would see how much having kids means to you. If he loved you he would not expect you to make this sacrifice as a means of being with him. If he loved you he would be able to overlook the expense of a child and look at the value a child would bring to your relationship. If he loved you he would walk away and give you the peace to move on and find someone else. He would not be contacting you on a regular/semi regular basis being the constant reminder of what you cannot have.
Relationships are about compromises but some things cannot be overcome, some times when the relationship cannot be rescued it is possible to go on being friends. However in this occasion I think you will only continue to hurt yourself further due to the feelings you still have for him. Add in great sex to the mix and you have great unadulterated joy for a while but more confusion and pain later. Sucks I know.
Given time you will find someone who will appreciate you for you and they will want to give you everything you need to be happy, including motherhood. Who knows they might even to live up to your horniness levels too.

pleasurepinnacle 36M
5 posts
4/12/2006 8:43 pm

From time to time you might find that in your mind there is a sign. A place to be for you, you see and it exists there within the trees.
You fain to speak of love fortold, but long for something just as bold. Your heart it holds you in your ways and sees you through your better days. For when it is all said and done you may look back as the lonely one.
Hey I know what you are going through, I have read your blogs, and this is the first time I have felt the need to respond. YOu are not alone in that boat, but are considering the options, and weighing the consequences. Answer one question though, for your own sake and nothing more. Is that really what you want, and do you desire to ease your needs by other means? It is just a question nothing offensive meant by it, I assure you, but these things need great consideration, and without the werewithall to go through with any of it, you are just seeking some attention which you have not been recieving. Communication is the key to all things great when it comes to people, and maybe your lines of communication have had a breakdown. That is all I am saying. I try for the same reasons. Love(the true stuff) is wholly irreplaceable, but you can try. Just trying to help.

GardenGnome2006 58M

4/12/2006 11:34 pm

Honey, the world is full of good men. Find one and loose this asshole quickly.

QuiteAGoodHandle 51M

4/13/2006 4:30 am

Hi again Sassy,

Its all getting a bit complicated, isn't it?. Both of you probably arent in a position where you can commit and be together. You have issues with him, he has issues with you. You think he is an asshole. He probably has an opinion of you as well.

Maybe a relationship together is not what either of you can provide right now. If the sex is good, take it, and both of you can at least cherish that. But going to the next level, committing to a long-term relationship, where you can both deliver to your needs, your wishes, doesnt look possible from the outside.


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