Disappointing Sex....  

SaucyNSassy 39F
2021 posts
1/8/2006 2:15 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Disappointing Sex....

I was thinking... How many times have I had disappointing sex? Wow...the answer was quite depressing. You know the story, you meet someone, you are sexually attracted to them and then you have sex with them. I have been with men who tried so hard but just failed to please me and then I have been with men who fucked me, then they came, got dressed and were done. Meanwhile, I am just sitting there like damn, why did I even bother??? I mean, damn I have said this before... If you cum and she doesn't you NEED to find a way to make her feel good... even if she doesn't cum often (like me) FUCK!!! touch me, keep sucking on me, licking me...something. I am at the point that I'm about to give up on men. The sex is unfulfilling... Men are lazy....they cum and they are done. All they care about is themselves.
I think I may go on strike and in that case, I won't have or need sex and my marriage will be perfectly fine and I can just say goodbye to AdultFriendFinder....

jadedbabe78 105F

1/8/2006 8:31 pm

Well, I think we all have had disappointing sex at some point in our lives. The kind that makes you stop and think "I took my clothes off for this??".

If a man knows he's going to cum, then I always suggest stop what you're doing--RIGHT NOW! Stop the fucking, go back to the foreplay, indulge in some more oral, some more manual stimulation before returning to the actually act of sex itself. This must be doen before he cums though. Because, when a man cums---he isn't thinking, PERIOD. He can't make sense of anything in his head for at least a few seconds if not minutes and even then, he's still on the euphoric high of the orgasm, he forgets that HEY! the woman still needs to get off or feel great, too. Not all men, but I've found that most do. A lot aren't purposely being an ass about it, it's just part of their genetic wiring.

So, stop him half way through, slow things down, mix it up some and tell him to please you some more. Women take longer in this and if he really wants to pleasure you, he'll do this for you. That's how I look at it. If a man isn't willing to stop and smell the roses so to speak, then he isn't worth any more time and is just there to get his jollies off (although, occasionally, this is alright...but if this is the first, second, or even third time together and this happens, I'd walk, lol...there has to be a comfort level there for a quick jolly getter offer happens.)

Don't go on strike!! Or in anycase, at least stay and vent out your strike here , lol. You can't leave, no no no.

fantasylifeline 62M

1/8/2006 9:19 pm

As i have said before I regret that you keep running into these ME ME ME ME kids! A man knows that his woman needs to be pleased, and if he doesn't care then he's just a jackass that gives the rest of us a bad name. I feel that the best way to have sex is to do whatever it takes to please my woman first oral,fingerplay whatever until she cums. I know that I can still have a lot of fun doing this and I will always get to cum after and both my woman and I will be happy and fulfilled after I hope that some of the jackasses read this and understand that abeautiful sexy women (such as this wonderful lady) Deserve only the best treatment after all guys if you can't please her then why should she even try to please you? Be nice to her and if all you want is a blow up doll to please yourself on then go buy one and leave the real women alone for the real men!

im_your_man77 39M
961 posts
1/9/2006 1:16 am

Hey don't you dare leave. Not if you know whats good for you. I'll hunt you down and haunt you. Would write more but must run to work dammit.

dasher121 36M

1/9/2006 6:11 am

thats how i feel, if she doesnt cum then i cant enjoy myself. it sucks! the sex is not good then. so i try my best and dont give up. not perfect at all, but things usually work out......whether it be through sex, oral, or getting back up 5 min later.

Freak it on sassy, freak it on haha.

Dallas_Male_35 47M
255 posts
1/9/2006 8:47 am

There is a huge difference in "fucking" and "making love." Too many MEN don't know that there is a difference, and couldn't comprehend it if you tried to explain it. (ya, I know, I'm male, but I know the difference)

Most men fuck to cum. Period. It's what life is about (to the typical male, that is).

Making love is about sharing passion with someone. Damn, I feel like evry post I make goes back to the same thing!! When you have that special bond with someone (I'm not repeating those 4 things you have to have, you should have them cast to memory as many times as I've typed them out), the sex is supposed to be special . . . and if you care about eachother, it IS special!

If a guy just cums and gets up and leaves, or stops touching you, or gets dressed, or anything, then he wasn't in in for you in the first place. He was just fucking, and apparently wasn't concerned with anything more than himself.

Making love is about touching. It's about sharing. It's about passion with two people.

Most guys want to walk in a room. Rip of your clothes. Grab a tit because they can, then push you down on your knees and grope your ass, because it's there. At this point, they spend 2.5 minutes pumping furiously into you, and exhaust themselves and then brag about "fucking the shit" out of you as if they just conquered Everest and it was some special feat. . . . not realizing in the slightest that you weren't even ready to start yet.

Making love is about the buildup.

It's about touching before even starting.
It's about that look that makes your heart beat fast.
It's about holding hands before you kiss . . . .and those kisses!!
The kisses excite you and leave wet dribbles in your shorts whether you are male or female.
The undressing is slow, and sexy, and you both want to touch eachother, kissing everywhere that you expose, anticipating and building up the moment.

Well, you get the idea . . . if I type anymore, I'm going to have to stop working and go take a cold shower, but you get the idea.

Don't give up on men, SexySassyOne. Not all men are 2pumpchumps. There are a few men out there that think about their partners first.

(uh, big hint)

rm_Ptalk1155 34M
3450 posts
1/9/2006 10:28 am

Well, I for one see getting a woman off as an interesting challenge, and won't leave the bedroom satisfied if I haven't accomplished this goal.

rm_mrbuns1000 40M
38 posts
1/9/2006 10:48 am

We have all had disappointing sex even us boys but if you like someone enough and trust them then tell them how to please you and i promise you will never regret it.

All us boys need it a few directions a little encouragement and we will do the rest i promise.

Eg some girls like having their necks kissed some dont.

Some girls like being on top some dont.

So just tell the guy what turns you on and how you like it and enjoy the ride ha ha.

If its just a one night stand its every person for themselves at least thats how i have found it.


MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
1/9/2006 12:22 pm

What's even worse than thinking, "I took my clothes off for this?" is when he's so disappointing, that you have to fight back the urge to say, "Why are you still here? Stop talking, get dressed, get out, never contact me again."

rm_Ranger8997 44M
1 post
1/9/2006 1:36 pm

I have never had a women disappointed in me in matter a fact I make it a point to make sure the women is pleased first before me... And it helps that I love oral very much so again never had a women not satisfied......

SpaceRangerNJ 55M
4687 posts
1/9/2006 2:15 pm

Now you know very well that there are men who are all about the women.
I know from experience that you can't just turn it off. When my wife started the sexual blackmail I so wished I could just turn my needs off. I didn't want to be hurt by her actions. And still 8 years later and nothing in sight I still sometimes wish, as you, that I could just turn it off. But I'll bet, as luck will have it, I'll find someone and all of a sudden it will be gone. Libido shut down. All those waisted years. So I try not to wish too hard.
I dream of being given the chance to please a woman again.
Keep searching. I guess your something, all be it bad, is just as good as my nothing. Or maybe not.

nightnsa 48M  
415 posts
1/9/2006 2:58 pm

the sexual attraction has to be their..a good lover is also unselfish and worrys about their partners satifaction over their own, and their had to be a mental component too...they say the mind is the most sexual part of the body...not sure who "they" are, but that is what "they" say...but i tend to think that is very true esp for women....curious what u think...

IotasPlankTunis 46M
7 posts
1/9/2006 3:02 pm

To me...hearing that is just heartbreaking. That someone as beautiful and sexy as yourself would feel that way. Believe me darlin you have just run into the wrong men. So many of us aim to please and please well. Some of us will stay down on you for hours if we have to just to get the sweet satisfaction of hearing you cum. (Sprained tongue and all).

Dallas_Male_35 47M
255 posts
1/9/2006 8:24 pm

No sex is much less dis-heartening than disappointing sex

MrNuttz05 49M

1/10/2006 6:35 pm

Men? Cumming too fast? No way....? Well, this time I am going to agree with the minority... And here are my reasons:
1. You shouldn't be so damn sexy!
2. Men believe & hope a lot. That's why we cum 1st & hope that you can without us!
3. You shouldn't be so damn sexy!
4. We believe in the saying, "Cum one, cum all!" So, we cum, & you should follow suit...
5. You shouldn't be so damn sexy!
6. It's the only time that we can call you a slut & get away with it. So we get VERY excited, & of course, we cum...
7. You shouldn't be so damn sexy!

I hope you get my point!
Who luvs ya Saucy...
Shouts out to my bro' Dash, & to Wickedwytch, what a wickedRACK!

SaucyNSassy 39F

1/10/2006 10:48 pm

Jaded, you are so right. I don't think that ALL men are this way on purpose. Some of them ARE just wired wrong...lol. I have a thing, I will give them 3 tries to please me sexually. After that, FUCK IT! This man is JUST selfish. Damn, I think 3 times is pretty nice. (Okay, Im not always that nice, just when I think the man has potential...lol)
Fantasy, I do find the winners, don't I? lol.. you are so right, I find the "me, me, me kids"
Man77, I won't leave, yet... Thanks for the hit and run! Kiss!
Dasher, Why don't I find more men like you? (Are any other women here saying to themselves "damn, he is fine?" when they see Dash's pic?)
Dallas, (sighs) when I read this...
"It's about touching before even starting.
It's about that look that makes your heart beat fast.
It's about holding hands before you kiss . . . .and those kisses!!
The kisses excite you and leave wet dribbles in your shorts whether you are male or female.
The undressing is slow, and sexy, and you both want to touch eachother, kissing everywhere that you expose, anticipating and building up the moment."
All I could do was think... WHY IS HE IN DALLAS?????? Then, I read the word "2pumpchumps" and laughed my ass off (what tiny bit WAS left of my ass) lol...
PTalk, I would formally like to set a goal for you... ahem... I'm in San Antonio. Just head south on I-35.... Oh, sorry. I was daydreaming for a minute.
Mr. Buns, some men cant be directed and some men even if they are told that you love something, still don't do it. (wow, I really have found some me, me, me kids) Thanks for the comments Sweetie! I know not ALL men are selfish.
MissAnn, LMAO!!! I can totally see you just handing him his clothes and saying..."look, just get dressed in your car... go, you sucked" I love it! lol
Ranger, Men who truly love oral don't seem to even be able to disappoint. It is the men who rush to get their dicks in you that suck!
S.R., Of course I know that not allll men are lazy, selfish dicks!!! I am just ranting about the ones that are! Damn,I am sexually frustrated here...lol. Give me sympathy... jk


SaucyNSassy 39F

1/10/2006 10:56 pm

Night, I agree w/ "they". My head can be spinning and tons of naughty thoughts can have me all wet before a man even touches me. So, yes, the mind is a very sexual part, if not the most sexual part of the body!
Tru, (deep breath) you are so sweet. I do seem to just find losers... (the wrong men is an understatement) Thank you for the compliment and ANYTIME you want to sprain that tongue of yours... Please let me know.
Wicked, to be honest, I think I agree with you. I mean, no sex means no sexpectations... (that error was on purpose) BUT when you have sex and it sucks...that is SO disappointing.
Dallas, you have obviously never REALLY had bad sex. (must be nice!)
Nuttz, You are Hilarious! Your comments always make me laugh! I love them! I think you may be a little crazy but hey you and I have that in common! (Thanks for the repetitive compliments!) Who luvs you??? SASSSSSY!!!

Thank you EVERYONE!!!

QuiteAGoodHandle 51M

1/11/2006 1:42 am

Hi again Sassy,

Of course there are guys that will do a "wham, bam, thank you ma'am", and we have all done that. But if a guy really fancies you and wants to make love again more than once, he will be able to drive you wild with his attention.

But its a two way street. Men are hard-wired in many respects to come as quickly as possible, sow their "oats" and move on to the next conquest. The male apparatus is for pro-creation, nit for titilating the clitoris, which ironicaly in a female is in fact a small version of the penis. Maybe I'm getting too graphic here.

Coming back to the solution. Talk to him more and use your body and your "moves" to get him in a position and motion where you are getting as much of a turn on as he is. Physically, some men can go from 0 to orgasm in 3 or 5 mins, and the average is somewhere around 7. Most women, going from 0 (ie: no wetness) to orgasm is a lot lot longer. The physical reason is that the area that fills up in blood in both men and women takes longer to fill up with women, given the same level of sexual stimuli.

Now, there is also the issue that your perfect lover will not just happen to walk in the door and perform the exact sex that you want. At times a woman will njot even know herself what she really wants and it can change from day to day. One days nipple squeeze which turns on will on another day, or indeed 30 mins later, be a turn off.

So work with your partner, help him, and he will help you, and together you will both be able to excite each other at a reasonable pace. I would definitely recommend that the man is forced to get the woman to orgasm first. Oral is usually good for that.

whatever you do, dont give up ...


ps: if you're in my area, let me know and I'll see if I can deliver, purely for scientific purposes of course

SpaceRangerNJ 55M
4687 posts
1/11/2006 8:29 am

You know I'd love to give you sympathy and so much more. I feel for you being frustrated. Sorry to get so serious on ya. Just hit a very emotional cord with me on wanting to turn it all off.

So let's see, San Antonio, why don't we meet in the basement of the Alamo; I think Pee Wee Herman went there looking for his bicycle. LOL. Maybe we can get rid of our frustrations there.

The basement at the Alamo, now that's funny - Git-er-done!

Dallas_Male_35 47M
255 posts
1/12/2006 11:17 pm

Quoting Sassy:
Dallas, you have obviously never REALLY had bad sex. (must be nice!)

Oh, you'd be surprised. I wish I could say I got it on a regular basis, but that would be a joke if I did. . . . and when I do, it's not always as good as it could be. Most women are used to being used by men, and they think we are all the same. Most men take what they want and don't even think about the women . . . and i think women get to where they just expect that.

I haven't dated anybody for just under three years now. The couple of "partners" I've had during the interim have been less than adequate. There is just nothing as good as sex with someone you care about.

It can be just as disappointing for a man as you are talking about.

SaucyNSassy 39F

1/17/2006 8:58 pm

Quite, so I have a new name for you... Dr. Quite... there you go and I would call...for the sake of scientific purposes of course.

S.R. PeeWee Herman and Basement of the Alamo are two things I never expected to read on my blogs...lol. Crazy man!

Dallas, Sorry you have had your share of disappointments! That SUCKS! You are absolutely right, there is nothing better than having sex or better yet making love to someone you care about...


Dallas_Male_35 47M
255 posts
1/17/2006 11:25 pm

I couldn't have said that better myself

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