The Unthinkable Confession  

SassyChrisls 113F
413 posts
8/28/2005 2:15 am
The Unthinkable Confession

I've always prided myself on saying I have standards- I won't fuck dogs or anyone I'm not chemically/physically attracted to...

Look where it's gotten me.

I'm miserable.

I'm the first of anyone to say I'm a pathetic loser on the internet.

I'm sitting here in front of a computer because there's absolutely nothing to do and no place to go in my area.

I don't even have "friends".... Saying hello to people because you work with them or recognized them from school doesn't count as friendship.

I've tried to host a party in my new apartment- promised plenty of booze and fun. How many of them had said for sure they'd attend? I was actually wondering if I'd have ANY room left if they all did show as promised.... And only a mere handful showed - as in, I could count on the one hand.

I was so devastated - obviously I didn't have friends and obviously my life is shit.

"You're really attractive and funny! How can you not have a boyfriend? I don't believe it."

I've never had a boyfriend, not one that wasn't online. Hell, I've even been "engaged"- he turned out to be a total pathetic scrawny loser once I met him.

Another I met lied about practically everything but his gender. How can you lie about having tattoos?

I invest so much time and effort in knowing the person I'm drawn to - and then in the end I find it was all in vain.

"He wasn't worth your time. There are plenty of other fishes out in the sea."

Yea- other fishes who are already taken, and if they arent, I'm not drawn to. If they aren't taken and I AM drawn to them... they're sure to be gay. Figures.

Not worth MY time? Maybe it's more I'm not worth HIS time. That ever occur to anyone?

THE CONFESSION:

I really wish I could be a slut.

I really wish I didn't care so much about who I do or who I develop an interest in.

Maybe if I cared more about just SEX, I could be- but I'm not. I'm actually interested in the PERSON, which seems to be pointless. I crave for the emotional connection.

I also wish I was a robot.

-- I. AM. ROBOT. --

-- GAME. OVER. --

-- DON'T. PLAY. AGAIN. --


I'm done wallowing in self pity.



rm_ParadoxHawk 45M
44 posts
9/14/2005 6:57 am

Utterly fascinating. The more I read of you, the more facets I find.


rebel12545 54M

8/30/2005 11:31 am

Hi Sassy, I've read through all of your blogs this afternoon. This one here is the one I found the most interesting. I dont get the opportunity to look at very many profiles, so sometimes I will try contact either through yahoo IM, or the chat sessions on AdultFriendFinder. When I do get the opportunity to review a profile, I pay attention to what the woman is looking for. I'm a married guy. A lot of women are turned off by that. I respect their opinions. There are a lot more men on this site than there are women. I find it hard to meet people, so when I do, I am hopeful that they are sincere and truthful. Most people seem to be. Recently, I received a reply to an email that I sent to a woman. I quickly received a response saying how interesting I seem, and how she'd like to meet me, maybe even the next day. Well, then in the response it says to click on this link to see my website with a few more pictures. The woman in the pictures was not the same as the woman in the picture on AdultFriendFinder. It was a fraudulent attempt to get someone to buy into other porn sites. So, be careful, you never know who is on the other end. Help me out Sassy, help me meet some real women, who want to have fun with a good, down to earth, passionate, young 42 year old man!! I've chatted with you a couple times, you seem cool to me. One time I followed you on a Philly chat session. There was a woman running her mouth at you. I wanted to step in and say shut the f'k up, but felt you were handling yourself pretty well!!! I like the fact that you speak your mind when you need to, that's a good quality to have!! Be cool Sassy!!


johnnytechno 44M

8/29/2005 4:12 am

Sassy.....everything you said is 100% true!


greatnsexy69 47M

8/28/2005 10:36 pm

Don't assume that people are going to be bothered to read between the lines. I guarantee that alot of guys read a few lines of your profile or your blog and figure it's just not worth the trouble. Hey I get it that you've been burned bad. At the very least you don't like guys you're not looking to meet contacting you. The guys on this site should be so lucky. I don't know about you but if it were me I'd feel pretty popular. You may not like the guys who are contacting you but at least somebody is.


nietchze 43M

8/28/2005 9:43 pm

If you had a party, I would come. If you wanted to vent, I would listen. If you wanted to go do somthing just to get out of the house, I would come get you. If you want to punch somthing/someone just to fell better I would let you. I hear your frustration and I sympathize, but I don't pity. luv ya aunite.....


Davefrey 33M
1 post
8/28/2005 7:17 pm

Life throws us all curve balls some more then others it seems sometimes the worst shit happens to the best of people but that is what makes us all stronger ur a great person u have just been looking in all the wrong places for the right thing ur still young and life is all about experiences good and bad so i say even if u have a bad expereince take the knowledge u can obtain from that and learn from it its the only way that ur ever gonna be truly happy


tnfun4us 54M/51F
1 post
8/28/2005 5:56 pm

everything will be ok, you just have to roll with the punchs. You're right drop the self pity, hold your head high and do what you enjoy. Friends are great, but hard to find. Love will sneak up on you when you're not looking for it.


greatnsexy69 47M

8/28/2005 5:28 pm

Damn girl, You're angry. I haven't read alot of your posts, but even your profile comes off as looking for mister perfect. While I agree there are alot of people who misrepresent themselves and that makes it worse for the rest of us but, WELCOME TO REAL LIFE. People do that all the time. Everywhere.

If I ever met you in real life I think the initial get together would involve alot of screaming and yelling and I'm just not into that personally. What you put out there greatly affects the kind of responses you'll get back. Your profile comes off like you're screaming your head off.

Do guys want to have sex? Yeah, we're built that way. We can't help it. Some guys handle it better than others, but we all want it all the time. No matter the sexual orientation.

Yeah, Yeah I know you're just going to tell me to f-off.


happychance2 53M
1 post
8/28/2005 5:07 pm

I was in a relationship for almost three years and it turned out to be one big fucking lie!!! She used me, fucked around on me and worst of all lied to me with no regard to my feelings!!! Once my blinders were off and I saw her for who she really was, I left, and I haven't felt this good in years. I opened up my heart and wallet to this women and she emptied both, in the end I was more pissed off at me than her, for being so stupid, and allowing this con to con me. Oh well, it has been over six monthes, I'm single, plan to stay single for a while, but have some fun!!!

I met this woman on line!!!??

There are shitheads everywhere who really don't give a shit about anything but their own personal gain. Be thankful for the ones who don't show up. Don't be so lonely that you drop your guard and allow some one into your life that does not deserve what you have to offer!!


firecourage23 36M

8/28/2005 4:29 pm

The only honest advice is the one I can give from experience. When you look for someone you will not find them- only get the headache of trying and failing (whether it's them that fails or you as far as the chemistry/connection). When you concentrate on youself and things you want to fulfill in your life, then it always seems the tables will turn and you will meet a person worth while(might take a little time, but worth it in the end) But DON'T LOSE YOURSELF and who you are!! You can't pretend to be someone you're not- and if you do and meet "the right one", it won't be the real you and there goes that chance of a relationship. But I feel you can balance youself on a fine line between these two extremes by enjoying the experiences, and if it works, great!, and if not then take the optimistic "oh well, maybe next time" approach. Getting down on yourself and giving up will not do ANYTHING. Don't do this- it's not healthy nor beneficial. Concentrate on you- YOU are the most important person in YOUR life and you should realize that (regardless if mr perfect comes). Try not to disreagrd too much of what I say, because this is from a guy perspective, and as a guy I can appreciate a girl who avoids being a slut and is true to themself- this is a hell of a lot more sexy because it shows a high level of self respect and confidence in who they are and doesn't have to sleep with someone to have that guy like them. Because trust me... they don't. Ask any guy for an HONEST answer and they will agree.


StreaktheFreak 38F

8/28/2005 4:40 am

most people dont have much respect for the sluts ( i know because i am one ) i crave the emotional connection but i also fear it... and as has been proven time and again, that i fear it justly.

people lie about who they are, show what is appealing about themselves.. maybe just what they think people want to see...lie about what they do or have done......as anyone who actually has taken any time to get to know me knows i am honest i tell all (except for maybe who) and i think that when someone lies to a liar, it does not seem as bad...the other liar *kinda* understands...can sorta relate to it. it cuts the more honest person deeper

sometimes going to that new place that just opened up and trying their blackened tuna steak ends up being a choice that you regret and pay for, maybe even one of the worst meals you have ever had....sometimes its better to just go home and open up a can out of the cabinent and having the same thing that you are used to
no matter how good that restaurant looks.( i think i am getting away from my point...lol)

i guess what i want to say is that there are fish you want to catch, fish who want to catch you and the rest...you just have to match the bait to the appitite of the kinda fish you want...i am really off on this right now i shouldnt be posting to someones blog this tired...

anywho...i feel for you hun...i can really relate


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