Seeking Women/Men For:  

SassyChrisls 113F
413 posts
8/4/2005 3:23 am
Seeking Women/Men For:

Erotic Chat/Email/Phone Fantasies
1-on-1 sex
Discreet Relationship
Group se3 or more)
Bondage & Discipline
Exhibitionism & Voyeurism
Sadism & Masochism
Miscellaneous Fetishes
Other "Alternative" Activities

...Whatever happened to "Casual Relationships", "Serious Relationships", and "Backrubs/Massages"?

Sure- not everyone's looking for a relationship, but alot of us women do want to be more than simply a one-nite stand. So, we look on the preference list- and the only relationship option it gives us is DISCREET RELATIONSHIPS.

What about those of us who DON'T want to be discreet - who don't want to be "a dirty little secret"?

If A FF really that intent on encouraging its site members to be shady cheaters by providing only this relationship option?

Let's not ignore the fact A FF members HAVE escalated relationships into.. *gasps*... marriage. So, yes- relationships other than "discreet" does take place on this site.

Even the supposed dating and romance portal leading to A FF - - removed those options. And Passion's for singles, not married cheating straying members. So why aren't there other options besides "discreet"?

greatnsexy69 47M

8/30/2005 6:23 pm

SassyChrisIs: I agree with what you said. Some of the guys profiles that I've seen here, very few had clothes on. I'm also curious why so many guys think an erection will get a woman's attention. If that were the case, guys would walk around naked all the time. As to the chatrooms, I just had to get out. It kind of reminded me of being in one of those Neighborhood bars where fights always break out.

Misantrhope: I'm not an MCSE, I have a 4 year college degree. You're obviously just trying to get my goat. I was trying to offer up reason's why things aren't working using MS as an EXAMPLE and your attacking me. That was uncalled for. The software that runs this and other websites are tools not people. There's no reason to get testy or emotional. Everything else you said really isn't on topic.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/30/2005 9:47 am

greatnsexy, I know you're trying to be nice. However, I hate to burst your MCSE bubble. This site was built with Perl, using CGI (Common Gateway Interface) scripts. These are not MS Active Server Pages. To make things more difficult, if you look at the page source, they've layered Java on top.

The site doesn't run on Enterprise servers either. It used to, but they had so many ISE problems they switched to Apache. You can check this yourself at the Netcraft site.

Now, go to the home page. Switch from English to French. Or any language you can figure out simply without speaking, other than Spanish. You will see, things like backrub and massage, serious relationship, anal sex, oral sex, tranny, are all intact in the looking for options. I would personally like to see casual there, but hey, this is a site with MCSEs administering a Unix server. The more they play with it, the more goes wrong.

So, this site wasn't built with Visual Basic, or any Basic language. Or any MS apps. So, what Microsquish tells you on their web pages will not apply here. Not to be rude, but I think you need to learn some slack. Slackware, that is.

greatnsexy69 47M

8/29/2005 11:40 pm

I have a question. If this isn't a sex site in women's eyes, why do so many women post naked pictures of themselves. Of all the profiles I've viewed, I'd say less than 10 had clothes on. Many were wearing underwear in suggestive ways. Now I realize some were obviously fake, but I think some were real.

greatnsexy69 47M

8/29/2005 11:05 pm

MissAnnThrope, I work in information Technology and trust me, it's almost always languages THAT ARE NOT ENGLISH that have problems like this. Just check the microsoft site and see how many problems foreign language versions of Windows has that the English version DOES NOT HAVE. It's a line of crap that I would make up just to get you off the phone. If they wanted those checkboxes there, trust me they would have been there a long time ago. I imagine alot of the gold members come to this site because it seems they advocate discreet relationships i.e. get some nookie while your wife\husband is at work, and that's what makes their paychecks.

Personally I agree about the relationship choices, I found it odd that they almost seem to be advocating cheating on your wife, girlfirend, boyfriend or husband. I would imagine that there are alot of people looking for a guy\girl who they can hang with but SEX SELLS. and that's why they are not there.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/21/2005 8:52 pm

It's not that they think French is an international language. It's the fact there's a problem with the check boxes in English and Spanish.

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/20/2005 5:17 pm

Evil Step Sis, I just got off the phone with customer service, as my profile was deleted for a few hours today. I addressed this with the friendly customer service rep.

He told me, it's a glitch in English and Spanish. That all the options are there if you sign into the site, go to the home page, switch to French and then go to update profile. If you have enough retention of HS French, you can do this. So while I'm on the phone with him, I switch to French, go to update my profile and sure enough! There are backrubs and massages, serious relationships and a few things I will have to put into Bablefish to figure out.

So, we still can put down we're not looking for something on the side. Just not in English.

Cancer6962 54M
265 posts
8/14/2005 5:12 am

Our hosts probably feel that "Casual Relationships", "Serious Relationships", and "Backrubs/Massages" fit under "Miscellaneous Fetishes" and Other "Alternative" Activities. Or possibly that because this is a "sex personals" not a "dating personals" site that they don't need to include such personal options.

BTW I love your blog a lot of these should be required reading for new (and some old) members. Bash on!


I eat'n

Cancer6962 54M
265 posts
8/14/2005 4:56 am

Keep in mind that even today dating someone you met on the internet will get you some strange reactions. I speak from experience.
I mean the internet isn't that for perverts and phychos, thats not where "proper" people meet.
No offense to my fellow perverts and phychos


I eat'n

tamethytension 54M
2320 posts
8/10/2005 6:02 am

Discreet has many meanings and uses.

For a time, I assumed it meant secretive
relationship. However, I have now psoken with
about 30 women on AdultFriendFinder and have met roughly half.
In keeping with my standards, they are professional
career women and single. ALL have asked for discretion,
with many having that as their principal choice in the
AdultFriendFinder selection for relationships. In their case, they
wish to be sure of a man who will not take their private
information and broadcast it to other men (which is of
course a common practice amongst those who view women
as prizes in a contest, the winning of which requiring
boastful pronouncements). And so, having learned that
the vast majority of women I find compatible are seeking
this, and given tat I see myself as a perfectly discrete
gentleman, I have this within my profile.

just another point of view



sexybaby200575 46F

8/5/2005 12:32 am

Every time I go in a chat room here on AdultFriendFinder, I end up with at least 20 emails asking when I will meet someone (not that I have EVER agreed to this based on a chat) or the dreaded, "hey I live near you...wanna fuck? Men, this is NOT the way into my heart (or into my bed, for that matter). Read profiles first! If you can't see them, at least ask... Women are more than something to fuck...even those women who really do want one night stands or some other form of casual sex. Show some real interest. Be nice.

nietchze 43M

8/4/2005 11:40 pm

I can relate to this common problem. I find the lack of options frustrating as well, since my true option choice would be "looking to make fun of people without the threat of physical harm". Maybe somthing like "Looking to make people laugh, and if that gets me a BJ then cool".
But then what do i know......

MissAnnThrope 56F
11488 posts
8/4/2005 12:35 pm

I come in through Which says at the top, "Sexy personals for passionate singles." So I don't get why discreet is currently the only relationship choice.

I wanted to update my profile. I wanted to add something for the idiots who write to me, accusing me of trying to find a husband. No, not what I'm looking for at all. So, I went to the update page and low and behold, serious relationship was gone. So were a bunch of other choices. That fact alone made my pre-written update useless, as it explains why I have serious relationship on my profile.

So, on my way to customer service to write a letter complaining, I noticed the FAQ. Under the heading of, "What is the purpose of", I found this:

What is the purpose of

The purpose of the site is to make it as easy as possible for you to meet people, using the power of the internet. At, you'll find a community of people using the site as a tool to make connections and find partners for dating, romance, friendship, and a variety of encounters. To find your match, we offer several powerful features, which allow you to narrow your search so that you are able to find exactly the kind of person you, are looking for. On various occasions, we also add new features to make your time at a successful and fun experience.

Well, if it's for dating, romance and friendship, then why don't they have those options anymore in what we're looking for? Why won't customer service answer letters asking them about it?

Ladies and Gentlemen, let's get a letter campaign going. It's rough on us ladies, as most of us are looking for more than one night stands. It's tough on you men, because you only see misleading choices in what a woman wants and then you all accuse us of misrepresentation when we don't want discreet. Sorry kids, but I'm not about to be someone's dirty little secret, to be hidden away from view. Having to meet at no-tell motels and restaurants 50 miles away from where he lives, so no one will see him with me. If you don't want to be seen with me, then you're not good enough for me. I'm not something to be ashamed of.


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