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"Wanna play with a couple?" - My Honesty
"Wanna play with a couple?" - My Honesty
"Wanna play with a couple?"
"No, not interested in couples"
"Well, we don't always play together... want to play with me?"
"Nope- play alone or not, you're still part of a couple"
I never really thought about why I wasn't interested in couples- til I started talking to a particular person, who has a couples profile and asked him questions.
First of all- I'm not on here to look for sex. I'm only here to chat.. and if things happen, I'll go with the flow to see where it takes me.
There's no interest in "just sex" for me here... I've always said I have to have something- some kind of connection- and interest in the person I'm doing.
Keeping that in mind- why WOULD I want to play with couples? It'd be for "just sex", obviously.. which you already know I'm not interested in...
So then I started thinking more deeply about why... if I was part of a couple myself, if I'd ever be interested in having another person join.
Truth is, right now... I have to say nope, absolutely no interest in any other play but with my partner. Or possibly just another chick- no guys involved. (i AM a bit bi-curious)
I dont look down on couples who play with others- especially if it's an open relationship (as in discussed and agreed).. but I do wonder how they manage to open themselves to others and not have it affect the relationship they already have.
Some say it brings them closer- that I can see, in a way... if I felt that strongly and secure about our relationship and we shared experiences together.
BUT I still refuse to be naive- I DO know of such situations that has occured in broken hearts and destroyed relationships because someone else was introduced.
I'm not going to say it wouldn't happen.. I'm not going to say we love each other too much for something like this to happen.. and I will not pretend it couldn't.
As for me- sex isn't sex... it's a relationship that requires a connection of some sort. I need that connection to enjoy the "sex" (it's really the time with the partner that's more enjoyed)
As for me- I know if i got involved- it's because there's some level of interest already developed.
Would I really be that stupid to allow myself to risk developing further feelings for someone who's already in a relationship by playing with them?
With that said- How can you be SURE the other person won't develop feelings? how can you be SURE you'd never have any feelings or attraction for another person? how can you be SURE your partner wouldnt?
I'm a logical and practical thinker- I don't normally just dive in and make rash decisions. I have to look at things from all angles and perspectives... and make the most logical decision
Considering I haven't actually had a real boyfriend- naturally, I'd be quite apprehensive about the thoughts of allowing my own relationship with my (future) boyfriend be open to others.
Even if I was in a relationship, I'd still be asking those questions. I already know this.
I wouldn't want to risk throwing away something good - something I deserve to have - because someone else joined for play and he fell for her or she turned into a psycho madly in love with him or some shit...
Especially since I kno my life and my luck, which isn't usually good.
Some claim it's just fear- allowing fear to take over and preventing me from takin risks... but I say it's really being logical and truthful about the worth of the risk. Personally, I don't think it is.
These aren't my fears, but my HONESTY.
At least i'm able to be brutually honest with myself admit face the real reasons. At least I'm honest enough to say I'm not into "just sex" and, because I'm not, I don't trust myself to not fall for the guy.
How many people would really be honest enough to tell a really hot guy they can't play with him cuz they'd fall for him? And that they don't want to interefere or risk interference...
I'm not going to pretend I'm untouchable and immune. I'm not going to pretend I'm your fantasy, either, when I know I'm not.
11/5/2005 2:40 am
I've never been in that situation myself, but if others on this site are to be believed, some people just really get off on seeing their significant other with someone else. As one woman put it I like to watch him in action . I can see where you're coming from though. If there is one thing I have learned is nothing is ever how you expect it to be. You never know, in ten years you could be part of a couple looking for a 3rd. Not likely I agree, but stranger things have happened.|