Driving others crazy  

SPs_delight 35F
90 posts
1/5/2006 11:50 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Driving others crazy


HOW TO BE ANNOYING IN YOUR SPARE TIME:

o Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".

o Staple papers in the middle of the page.

o Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.

o Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

o Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

o Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

o Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

o Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

o Honk and wave to strangers.

o Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.

o Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

o ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

o only type in lowercase.

o dont use any punctuation either

o Pay for your dinner with pennies.

o Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.

o Repeat everything someone says, as a question.

o Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assasination/UFO/OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.

o Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

o Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.

o Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".

o At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.

o Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.

o Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.

o Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.

o Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.

o Ask people what gender they are.

o Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

o Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.

o Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.

o Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot".

o Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.

o Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.

o While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

o Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.

o Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.

o Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

o Chew on pens that you've borrowed.

o Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

o Wear a LOT of cologne.

o Ask to "interface" with someone.

o Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".

o Sing along at the opera.

o Mow your lawn with scissors.

o At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"

o Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".

o Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".

o Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

o Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

o Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."

o Stare at static on the tv and claim you can see a "magic picture".

o Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.

o Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.

o Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

o Never make eye contact.

o Never break eye contact.

o Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

o Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.

o Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

o Make appointments for the 31st of September.

o Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

iluvjbsinaz 55M

1/6/2006 6:36 am

Great list! I'll try to do a few today.


fun4allin2006 53M
1583 posts
1/7/2006 9:15 am

Great list-let me add to it
o start a sentence and then..... and then, oh forget it
o tell everyone that you don't care what other people say, you think they are doing a great job.


hugegoat45 38M/36F
3 posts
1/14/2006 1:21 pm

nice list ill try some soon


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