My Daughter Has 2 Personalities  

Rudy1166 50M
132 posts
5/6/2006 3:53 pm

Last Read:
12/29/2009 7:42 am

My Daughter Has 2 Personalities

With me, she's a sweet little imp. She can be stubborn and demanding sometimes, but I don't give in to that.
With her mother, she throws Tantrums from Hell almost daily. She's also very clingy with her.
When my ex tells me about this, I'm not sure how to respond. I listen sympathetically and have told her in the past what works for me. It doesn't work for her.
Talked to my daughter about it. Told her that it hurts Momma when she acts like that. Asked her why she does that, she says "I don't know".
My daughter has acted this way towards each of us since the beginning, years before we split. So I don't think it's the divorce that's causing this.
My ex and I have very different temperaments, which is part of the reason we're divorced.
Don't know if my daughter is reflecting those differences or what? My ex is on anti-depressant meds, which has mellowed her a bit. That should help things, but apparently it hasn't.
We're bringing our daughter to see a child therapist. Hope to get to the bottom of this.

Otherwise, I'm at a loss.

singleagain53578 47F

5/6/2006 5:44 pm

Even though your daughter is young, she has already learned whose buttons she can push. Both parents need to have the same rules in each household and both parents need to show her who the boss is. Better said than done, I know, since my kids walk all over me as well. I would love to say it only gets better, but as mine get older, the worse it gets.


Rudy1166 replies on 5/6/2006 6:26 pm:
Oy vey! I guess it will all work out in the end. We didn't turn out so bad. Guess I'll be saying "This is just a phase" until she's 30.

dandelion60540 106F
76 posts
5/7/2006 9:58 pm

Over the years I have heard moms say that the kids listen to their dads better than they do to the mom. So I don't think your daughter is any different in that respect. I bet your ex is not consistent in her parenting style and your daughter sees right through that. Just my point of view matter what you tell or suggest to your ex, she won't listen anyways so why is she asking you? A therapist may be able to help but since she is good for you and not the ex, I again feel it is your ex not being consistent when she disciplines and reacts to your daughter's behavior. I wish you all the best of luck. Especially for you daughter's sake. From following your blog for a little while I can tell you are a very good Daddy and love your daughter very much.

Rudy1166 replies on 5/8/2006 7:05 am:
You're quite right in what you say, especially the part about my ex not listening to me. She was always quick to tell everybody else what to do (God forbid you didn't do exactly what she said.), but she does only what she sees fit to do.
I only hope that this attitude won't rub off too much on our daughter.

Thank you for being a regular to my blog. I'm going to check yours out.

Become a member to create a blog