So, I was thinking...  

Rubenesque1968 48F
152 posts
12/4/2005 7:18 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

So, I was thinking...

I keep reading things like no strings attached, friends with benefits, and the like. And, that lead me to another perception question. How do we, as people, define these terms?

No-strings attached: I would assume this to mean a one night stand. However, I have seen profiles that mention it being ongoing. I loathe the thought of one night stands, personally. But, in my opinion, that is the only way you are going to get "no-strings". I think it is human nature to get to know someone, the more time you spend with them. The more you know the person, the more "strings".

Friends with benefits: Friends with benefits can mean:
A. You begin as friends, and possibly move onto something more. Which seems like a great idea. Or,
B. Two people who are "sex buddies" who get together just for sex. Which could never satisfy me, personally, but I guess it works for some people. Or,
C. People who do things together as friends, have sex, but know there are no romantic feelings. But, in this situation, don't you think you may start having romantic feelings? It is basically just a dating relationship, one that could grow into more.

Any other meanings I may have missed? How do you perceive these terms?

Thanks for reading,
Rube


rm_Wkn069 68M

12/4/2005 6:48 pm

To me a "no strings" relationship is sex with a stranger. From reading most swinger's posts and participating in forums, sex with strangers is the name of their game. If I had sex with a prostitute, there is no reason to believe that she or I would ever meet again. We might meet again or even make plans to meet again but, if we do not.....it's no big deal. We are not sharing or planning our lives with each other...it's just sex. Swinging couples seem to be doing the same when they pick-up a third for the night, whether male or female. If you have ever seen the movie "Looking for Mr. Goodbar", there is a scene where the protagonist of the story feels insulted when a man she has just had "no strings" sex with offers her money. money is a way a distancing one's self from the event that just took place. (I kept my promise, you keep your distance.) The heroine of the movie just does not get it. She wants to hold onto the relationship and let go at the same time. Inevitably, her point of view results in a tragic ending. I'm not going to criticise or preach...to each their own. Porn and prostitution to many are considered and forms of . I'll agree to a point but, as long as males are viewed as economic objects and females sex objects, any changes will be a long time coming although, things appear to be changing gradually. To make a long story short, most paople on AdultFriendFinder want to have more fun than a barrel of Bonobo Monkeys in a world of Knuckledraggers.

Guess I kicked the living you know what out of "no strings" so, I'll just leave "friends with benefits" alone except to say that it seems to border on polyamory.

Andy


rm_gmanmich 49M

12/5/2005 6:30 pm

Hello Rube,
Not sure what that handle means, but I am guessing Ruby? Am i close?
Anyhow....
How are you?
Obviously I have seen your profile, and few of your pics. Noticed you were a standard member and tried to figure out a way to make contact. I stumbled onto this blog in hope that it will work. i have read some of your blogs, and you seem as though you are not having much luck. Welcome to the club. As a woman I am sure you are bombarded with horny men with all kinds of nasty thoughts. I guess that this is the norm , seeing how women are the hot commodity. As a man on this site, let me tell you that the responses are few and far between. I am sure there are more men looking than women. I have beeen divorced for a while now and the dating thing is not easy. I have a busy schedule like most and this internet thing is probably easier than going out. i have tried the yahoo thing match dot com thing. I have had a little success on both, but not much here. I think that this site brings sex to the forefront of topics. As we all know sex is one of the things that drives many people to want to be involved with other people. I myself love sex. Which brings up the point of your blog and my response. One night stands, I think are situations that just happen. You randomly meet someone, somewhere and you have a spark. One thing leads to another and the morning comes and it is over. I The night before ws never about where the two of you were going , so that is why it only lasts one night. If you are on this sight and set something up - that becomes planned. It does not qualify as a one night stand. Friends with benefits, i think is a situation where you are very comfortable with a person, but can see that a long term relationship just would not work. So, while waitng for something better to come along you swerve off of your path and bump into eachother in the dark a few times here and there. Eventualy one of you finds something more lasting, and then it ends. Sex buddies would seem more like people who are attracted to eachother, but are currently committed to someone else. I think most sex buddies, are people having affairs. At least one of them. Eventhough it is possible to have great sex; with no strings attached, I believe that emotions eventually kick in and either you become attached to that person or realize that there is probably no logical future with thaa person. In both situations there are definate STRINGS.
The real beauty behind all of this, is that we are all looking for someone, and as wacking as this site and many others can be, maybe just maybe we can find that person. I don't know if any of this makes sense or not, but I would love to hear from you, and be able to tell you more about me. You can try me at gmanmich here or at the yahoo dot com place
TTYL,
Geoff


Rubenesque1968 48F

12/10/2005 2:39 pm

gman ~ Rubenesque refers to an artist named Peter Paul Rubens who painted sensual pictures of larger sized beautiful women, as well as other pictures.

As for your explanations of one night stands and friends with benefits, I can agree with both. I think you understand my point that there are usually strings, and for people to think there aren't, they are naive.

Welcome to my blog and thanks for responding
Rube


rm_Smile_My_Way 59M
1519 posts
12/10/2005 7:36 pm

No-strings attached: means two people can see each other until one deceides to end it. At that time they go their seperate ways without any bad feelings toward each other.

Friends with benefits: means you become friends and have fun together. Any thing from a walk in the park to having sex.


Rubenesque1968 48F

12/11/2005 6:16 am

Smile ~ Welcome to my blog and thanks for the response. My question to you is, what if one of the friends decides they no longer want to have sex with the other? Does that, then, become worse than "no strings" because it hurts more? Or, do you believe people able to continue those friendships without the sex?


BeefySworeSweep 55M
3 posts
12/13/2005 4:31 pm

Here is my .02 cents on "No Strings Attached" Limited effort and no committment outside of sex. This would include no support during any personal issue or just a good chat. It's basically a wham bam thank you ma'am. Zero personal connection and basically as unhuman as possible. Ideal partner would be a robot with great looks. Good thing I was raised better than that. To each his own, but not my cup of tea.


Become a member to create a blog