conversations  

Roryardri 68M
123 posts
7/21/2006 3:39 pm

Last Read:
5/9/2007 5:17 am

conversations


Sleep is slow in leaving me. I feel you stir and know that you will rise; lying abed is not your way. Part of me reaches out to you, but you do not see that beneath the cover as you start to plan the day.
"Need me to get up".
(please say no)
"Just putting some things in the wash."
{you could pull me back to bed}
"Ohh.. okay. Twenty Minutes."
(til I start to stir... I feel my lids closing and wonder only briefly if you are watching.)
"I have to go to Mom's later."
(You could come with)
"Okay, I'll see if I can fix the leak in the bathroom faucet."
(Or wax the car, or declaw the cat, anything but go with)
I hear you leave the room. I sigh. Relief? When did we stop looking into each other's eyes, and each other's hearts? When did we start these phantom conversations that say so little while leaving so much unsaid?
But I think of the things that are unsaid. You make me feel like a failure. I make you feel like my mother. Your parents are sweet but I don't even know them. They love me, but there is a reservation that twenty years hasn't changed.
I feel that you haven't desired me in years. You feel that I need to grow up.
Would the floodgate burst upon the valley that sleeps in oblivious ennui below?
Would the crest of the wave wash away the fears or choke us and destroy any vestige to which our lives tenuously cling? Is this any way to live?Then sleep takes me, and the conversation is stilled...for now.

LustyTaurus 48M  
21253 posts
7/21/2006 4:17 pm

I've been where you are at, although it was after 7 years instead of twenty...I can't give you a solution but I did learn that it's a problem if we keep doing the same things over and over and expect different results. Take some chances...I know you have a list in your head..what have you got to lose?


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