Rod Tender : Atra Cura  

RodTender 46M
90 posts
12/14/2005 11:29 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Rod Tender : Atra Cura

The lambently irreproachable Rod Tender cares not for the loquacious pomposity and histrionic mien of poetry; no composition of mere prose could possibly capture the abyssal depth of His mighty, yet 110% manly sorrow. As such, He has seen fit to devote an entire Mad Lib to the memory of His beloved left shoe.

Amusement Park

An amusement park is always fun to visit on a MISSING LEFT SHOE. When you get there, you can FOREVER ESCHEW A MIDNIGHT ROMP WITH A FAMILY OF MISCHIEVOUS SQUIRRELS and go for a swim. And there are lots of LOST PRECIOUS things to eat. You can start off with a hot dog on a/an LEFT FOOT JACK PURCELL ATHLETIC SHOE with mustard, relish, and ALAS! ALL IS FORSAKEN!. Then you can have a buttered ear of THE DISAPPOINTED SQUIRRELS LIVING IN ROD TENDER'S CRAWLSPACE with a nice HEARTBROKEN slice of watermelon and a big bottle of
cold pureed MANGLED REMAINS OF ROD TENDER'S TREACHEROUS LEFT SHOE. When you are full, it's time to go on the roller coaster, which should settle your DEPARTED, BUT NEVER FORGOTTEN LEFT "SNEAKER".

Other amusement park rides are the Dodge-Em, which has little BELOVED SHOE GONE FOREVER that you drive and run into other MONSTROUSLY DISCALCEATE FEET, and the merry-go-round, where you can sit on a big TRAGICALLY HEROIC AND INCONSOLABLE ROD TENDER and try to grab the gold GRIEVING SHOELESS ADONIS as you ride past.


saddletrampsk 54F

12/14/2005 1:13 pm

Well that was a kinda weird post..


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
12/14/2005 3:19 pm

Weird? It's brilliant!

I once tried to get my old shoes on an amusement park menu. Unfortunately, they weren't ripe enough at the time. I got an offer for my new ones, but I had already promised them to my friends.


MrNuttz05 49M

12/14/2005 9:47 pm

"THE SNEAKER THAT COULDN'T PUNT"

You guys have not lived in the disdain, the unappropriatedness, the anguishing pain of me & my right cleat of November 1985... It remains basking in the monumental halls of my high school. There, that is the place where I whiffed 3 times on punts in one game, one awful, blood sucking game... My shoe was abducted, bronzed (with green paint), & unmercifully sat on display for the past 20 years! When you guys reach 20 years of immortality with your sneakers give me a call...Eh'!


keithcancook 60M
17718 posts
12/15/2005 6:21 pm

Hey MrNuttz! I bet the next guy who whiffs 3x is gonna have to eat those old shoes of yours!


mysteriesofme 44F

12/16/2005 7:38 am

Does Foamy live with you to? (Foamy the Squirrel)


RodTender 46M
140 posts
12/16/2005 6:26 pm

MrNuttz, how do you suppose Rod Tender could go about procuring this legendary shoe of yours for His personal use?


RodTender 46M
140 posts
12/16/2005 6:27 pm

mysteriesofme, Rod Tender thinks not, although His diminutive rodent associate 'Bitey' certainly matches that description.


jomcarex 32M

12/18/2005 4:15 am

Madlibs have forever been the culmination of youthful pleasure and nostalgia, i trust they have uplifted your spirits on countless occasions, this one included.


RodTender 46M
140 posts
12/19/2005 8:17 pm

Rod Tender considers the Mad Lib to be the zenith of the scholarly arts, surpassing even "Yo Mamma..." jokes. Indeed, this most illustrious literary form is the benchmark according to which the human race should and will be judged, e.g., by mysterious and mighty robot conquerors, who would perhaps be so moved thereby that They would spare mankind from utter annihilation and instead, allow many persons to survive as objects of curiosity and amusement.


MrNuttz05 49M

12/21/2005 12:53 am

Tender, I have tried on several occasions to renounce my throne, by attempting sabotage, thievery, & even bribery to procure MY right shoe... Maybe if we set some squirrels loose to run amuck, it will cause a diversion, & I can enter the area, break the glass & whisk away...


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