Rod Tender: Detective Extraordinaire  

RodTender 46M
90 posts
12/17/2005 9:50 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Rod Tender: Detective Extraordinaire

At 10:21 PM this evening, Rod Tender's missing left shoe was discovered floating sole up in His aquarium/sushi farm. The circumstances surrounding said shoe's disappearance and subsequent reappearance remain abtruse; however, common sense suggests that the perpetrators were most likely a confederation of sexy lady cat-burglars clad in skin-tight leotards who found themselves entranced by the awe-inspiring beauty of Rod Tender's gossamer-delicate, yet perfectly formed and manly feet; they were (understandably) possessed with the unconquerable desire to possess an earthly vessel of His illustrious appendages. After drinking their fill of Rod Tender’s ambrosial essence and basking in the ecstatically sumptuous repose which only Rod Tender (or one of His shoes) can bestow upon a sexy lady, they were driven yet further into the unplumbed depths of hysterical unreason by anguished compunction and remorse for their ignoble deed. They surreptitiously returned His Jack Purcell athletic shoe posthaste, and (with the exception of the bookish red-haired one- who, it was decided, should go on living in order that sexy ladies everywhere may learn from their deplorable tale) cast themselves into the flabby arms of oblivion soon after realizing that all other men and the shoes thereof are but flesh and textile shadows cast by the stunningly brilliant glow of Rod Tender's otherworldly radiance.

Alas, much like Sasquatch, or his Asian counterpart, the Yentl, the true identities of these sexy ladies may never be known; but a cursory examination of the sole piece of evidence- Rod Tender's left "sneaker" revealed a tantalizing clue: it contained copious quantities of a transparent, tasteless and thirst-quenchingly refreshing liquid of water-like consistency. Attempts to subject this mystery fluid to rigorous testing proved futile, as the ever inquisitive Rod Tender inadvertently swallowed several vital component pieces of His Junior Detective Chemistry Lab in the preliminary stages of His investigation.

What is this cryptic substance? The world may never know. Nonetheless, Rod Tender's shoe is recovered, and in accord with the ideals of the upcoming Kwanzaa festivities, all is right with the world once more, and the ineffable trauma He endured is but a distant memory. As Rod Tender once famously quipped, "That which does not kill me only makes me stronger; bring Rod Tender more waffles!".


jomcarex 32M

12/18/2005 4:18 am

perhaps the liquid was the water from your aquarium? but no, that answer would be just too obvious, surely the culprits would never have been so simple minded...


NickB67 49M

12/18/2005 7:17 am

Isn't Sasquatch's Asian counterpart the Yeti? I think the Yentl might be his Jewish counterpart.


scarzack 55M
1080 posts
12/18/2005 4:28 pm

Thank goodness for you relief.
My anguish over the trauma you experienced was unbearable.
I think I know what that fluid was, but I can’t be sure, as I am unfamiliar with the much-exalted propelled nectar of woman. But who could blame them?
However, if it did not kill the fish and it did not smell of ammonia, it may have been love elixir.

The Asian Rabbi is elusive and nearly ineffable.
Happy Kwanzaa


LeftyMcNitty 41M
71 posts
1/6/2006 7:40 am

It's a tradgy that the sexy lady cat-burglars clad in skin-tight leotards had to perish. If only they had used their powers for good.


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