INTER OFFICE MEMO:  

Reformed_Menace 47M
9 posts
8/25/2005 3:10 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

INTER OFFICE MEMO:


ATTN: All Employees
RE: Employee Behavior
DATE: 8/25/05
FROM: Management

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals have been using foul language in the course of normal conversation between employees. Due to some complaints from some of the more easily offended workers, this conduct will no longer be tolerated! Management does however realize the importance of each person being able to express their feelings when communicating with their fellow workers. Therefore, management has compiled the following coded list. It is imperative that all employees understand and memorize the coded phrase so the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue.

>> New Phrase: I'm not certain that's feasible.
>> Old Phrase: No f------ way.
>> New Phrase: Really?
>> Old Phrase: You've got to be sh------ me.
>> New Phrase: Perhaps you should check with... [Insert name]
>> Old Phrase: Tell someone who gives a rat's ass
>> New Phrase: Of course I'm concerned.
>> Old Phrase: Ask me if I give a sh--.
>> New Phrase: I was not involved with that project.
>> Old Phrase: It's not my f------ problem.
>> New Phrase: Interesting behavior...
>> Old Phrase: What the hell?
>> New Phrase: Perhaps I can work late.
>> Old Phrase: When the f--- do they expect me to do this?
>> New Phrase: He's not familiar with this problem.
>> Old Phrase: He's got his head up his ass.
>> New Phrase: You don't say.
>> Old Phrase: Eat sh--.
>> New Phrase: Excuse me?
>> Old Phrase: Eat sh-- and die.
>> New Phrase: Excuse me, sir?
>> Old Phrase: Eat sh-- and die, mother f-----.
>> New Phrase: They weren’t happy with it.
>> Old Phrase: What the f--- do they want from me?
>> New Phrase: So would you like some help?
>> Old Phrase: Kiss my ass.
>> New Phrase: I love a challenge.
>> Old Phrase: This job sucks.
>> New Phrase: You want me to take care of this?
>> Old Phrase: Who died and made you boss?
>> New Phrase: I see...
>> Old Phrase: Blow me.

pseudohippie 49F

8/27/2005 6:55 am

>> Old Phrase: Eat sh--.
>> New Phrase: Excuse me?
>> Old Phrase: Eat sh-- and die.
>> New Phrase: Excuse me, sir?
>> Old Phrase: Eat sh-- and die, mother f-----.

>> New Phrase: I see...
>> Old Phrase: Blow me.

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