EARLY RETIREMENT  

Reformed_Menace 47M
9 posts
8/21/2005 4:03 pm

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

EARLY RETIREMENT


Due to the current financial situation Management has decided to Implement a scheme to put all workers over 50 on early retirement. This is to be known as R.A.P.E. (Retire Aged Personnel Early). Persons selected to be can apply to Management to be eligible for the S.H.A.F.T. scheme (Special Help After Finishing Time). Persons who have been and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the S.C.R.E.W. scheme (Scheme to Cover Retired Early Workers). A person may be only once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been can apply to get A.I.D.S. (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouse) or H.E.R.P.E.S. (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel on Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management. Persons staying will receive as much S.H.I.T. (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Management has always prided itself for the amount of SHIT it gives its staff. Should you feel you do not receive enough SHIT please bring it to the attention of your Manager and he/she has been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

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