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The SpamBQ ( the actual story)
The SpamBQ ( the actual story)
Ok, ok, calm down y'all! A SpamBQ is in technicality a BBQ with Spam, but for me is like a gossipfest with my neighbors.
Greg and I were going to take Lizzie for a walk, but we never got more than 500 feet from the apartment building, when we turned around to the sound of a huge crash. Some 25-year old chick had taken her boyfriend's big conversion van and in trying to turn it around by doing a 3 point turn, hit the gas instead of the brakes. She rammed it into like a 2002 Grand Am. The owner of the Grand Am wasn't even home! The Pontiac was T-boned and completely totaled. The van? A slightly askew bumper. This is one of those vans you learned to drive in, the ones that were indestructible.
She must've been in shock cause she stopped, then hit the gas again and the tires spun, taking the Pontiac up and over the curb into the lawn a good 6 feet. There was smoke coming from the tires while she pushed the Pontiac as far as it would go.
Come to find out, her boyfriend was in his apartment grabbing something, he wasn't even there! She freaks out and walks off to go get him before she calls the cops, the 4 teenage boys standing outside the apartment building start whooping and hollering and jumping around. I freaked. I thought she was drunk, someone was in the Pontiac, so I get ready to go across the street, when she gets out and I realize there is no one in the Pontiac. Wheeww! I don't know if I wanna play doctor while I'm 6 months Prego.
This woman didn't even have a liscence. Not like it was suspended, like never EVER had one! Why her boyfriend is letting her turn around some huge van I wouldn't want to do a 3 point turn in is beyond me. We were all thinking she might've had something to drink. Happy hour had just ended. It was like 7:30. Her boyfriend, approached me, Greg, and John another neighbor about getting arrested.
Turns out this idiot has like 3 outstanding parking tickets! What a winner! So after 6-7 mins. the cops show up, take pictures, file reports, blah, blah, blah. Then Greg, John, and I all decide to trade stories about my rambunctious neighbors. Then Kelly, Matt, and Diane (former building manager) come outside to let out their dogs, and we all break up into little gossip groups.
I was wise enough to choose the one with Kelly and Diane. Diane has lived in the building for many years (going on 8 I think) and Kelly 2, she has a very "Mom" opinion about stuff which is fine, she has a son who just turned 9. Apparently one woman who has lived here for 4 years opened the elevator the other morning to Kevin and some chick with the lower region of their clothes not there at like 8 am! Yuck! Not something I wanna see that early. Apparently, she also found a beer can and panties in the stairwell, and asked 35 year old Kelly if they were hers! Can you imagine the look on her face? She was to say the least, upset.
I heard stories for days about tenants past and present. The good ones who got drunk and did stupid stuff, the bad ones who get into bar fights and come home and bleed in the elevator and stairwell and don't clean it up. I mean jeez! I got stories for years! The other thing is that I never ask for them! Truely, I don't! If they tell me a story, I can usually top it with a Matt and Kevin fiasco, so then they tell me another! These are about people who still live in the building too!
After Kelly and Diane and Matt went inside Greg, John and Dan (the guy who lives above me and Greg) and I all decide we wanna see who has the best apartment setup and if they are relatively the same. So a car wreck turns into a 3 hour gossip session with neighbors and a tour of peoples apartments, and a party being hosted by me and Greg this Friday night.
It was originally just me, Greg, and my pal Ben; but now we are including John, his roommate Adam(they live on the 2nd floor), Dan from upstairs, and Mike, a guy I used to work with and lives down the street. Greg will not be the only gay guy, as Adam is gay, and they will really get along. Their sense of humor is very cohesive in social settings. But surprise, surprise, I will be the only girl. Big shocker, even while I'm pregnant I'm still one of the boys!
It should make for an interesting evening to say the least. I will be sipping Diet Coke, have no fear, and we will be opening the windows for all the smokers (which is everyone but me and Mike), since I really shouldn't be around smoke. And let me tell you how excited I am that we have like the industrial sized Febreeze bottles for Saturday am! Details to follow on Saturday have no fear.
Hopefully we can keep the boys next door at bay for the night, and we all have a good night. I have the feeling after his co-workers going away party plus ours on Friday, Greg will be hung over, and I will have lots of stories and will have used up all the Febreeze! If anything interesting pops up tomorrow afternoon, trust me, you all will know.
So in conclusion, a SpamBQ is nothing more than a heated gossip seesion, only this one is a planned event with alcohol.
4/14/2006 4:55 am
OK. for the non-Americans..what is Febreeze? I am guessing it is either carpet cleaner, disinfectant or air freshner?|
Have fun and don't eat any Spam! That stuff has got to be worse than a 6 pack of beers and a packet of cigarettes for Bubs.SCARY SHIT!
Have a great Easter,
4/14/2006 8:57 am
Frangi, it is all of the above sweetie, good guess!|
4/14/2006 9:59 am
Oh, I just loooooove a good gossip session |