Renewal  

RedheadedMedStd 34F
1734 posts
3/23/2006 2:27 pm

Last Read:
3/25/2006 11:08 pm

Renewal


I was doing my walk with the dog today down to the park to play fetch when I noticed something. The daffodils and crocuses are trying to come out to play! I have seen a few budding crocuses. The green shoots of the daffodils remind me that warm weather is on the way. Being that it is 40* here, I don't really consider that anything besides normal March weather. We had snow flurries yesterday, and last week we were in the 60's. This is Cleveland for you. The temperature is up and down like my stomach was last night.

For those who haven't read it, about 3 months ago I lost a very close friend's dog for less than 12 hours. I know it sounds horrible, but go back and read the entry, it's not as horrible as it sounds I swear! (Re: What a great way to cap off 2005!) For about a month, I apologized up and down, left so many emails, voicemails, and IMs, I was sure she was ignoring me. No, she wasn't just ignoring me, she put me on punishment. I got so many reassurances from those of you who were around during that unfortunate event. From:

PleasureTOgether
Tommyt11
Buddy2334
But I digress.

It has been about 3.5 months since I have heard from her and I assumed that we were no longer friends. I admit what I did was really abhorrible and irresponsible, but I got a phone call last night from her! About 9:15 pm Eastern time (isn't that sad I remember the time?) she calls me to tell me that she's ready to talk, to renew our friendship apparently. The thing is, is I'm not ready to. I discussed it with a couple of close friends and my Mom and we have all decided the apology expired after about a month. I mean don't get me wrong I am sorry for what I did, but now I don't want her friendship.

A lot of my memories are fun, but there was a lot of drama involved too. She is so very hard to please. High maintinence doesn't even begin to cover it! She made a bunch of things my fault and manipulated me to make me feel like I was barely worthy of her friendship and I was constantly working for her approval and never sure I had it. The analogy that I heard which I like is that you can not put a friendship on a shelf in a Tupperware container for over 3 months and expect it to still be good. Our friendship was never really based on us being equals, she was holier than though and she was a dictator as far as everything went: who we hung out with, where we went, who paid (usually me), all that. Frankly, I have had a boring life without her, but I am learning that's ok.

Right after I hung up with her, promising to call her today, I went back to my History homework. Yea, not so much. To prove how stressful she makes me feel, the baby started doing some sort of tribal dance in my body and my brain was so preoccupied I had to read the same page 3 times to even understand it! I wasted a good hour feeling like that before I talked to my friends who convinced me my inital reaction was the right one. We used to be inseperable, now I want to smack her.

It's funny, with the renewal of life with the coming spring time, she wants to renew our friendship, since it is convenient for her. She got engaged and is probably bored with her fiancee and her friends so she needs someone to push around. Unlike the daffodils this year though, I will not be coming back.

Toodles!
Red

rm_hippy6663 65M

3/23/2006 4:36 pm

Tell her to Fuck Off, You felt bad about what happened and sounds like she didn't want it. Maybe she SHIT on the rest of her Friends and they're not having anything to do with her so she wants to step back into your live and try to be a control freak again


tillerbabe 56F

3/23/2006 9:32 pm

Now there is some outstanding growth!!!! I know how hard it is to break free from those kind of harmful relationships - but good for you!
Do me a favor Red, email me would you? (Since your profile's off - which I totally get!) A good person wants to pass on a message to you...


GardenGnome2006 59M

3/27/2006 12:02 am

Take your own advice and SMACK HER You'll feel so much better.


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