|Blogs > Rdy2doit > Laugh Break|
Never raise your hands to your kids.
It leaves your groin unprotected.
I'm not into working out.
My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
I'm desperately trying to figure out
why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Do you think illiterate people get
the full effect of alphabet soup?
I've always wanted to be somebody,
but I should have been more specific.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face
he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car
he sticks his head out the window?
I have six locks on my door, all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure
no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three of them.
They show you how detergent takes out bloodstains.
I think if you've got a tee shirt with bloodstains all over it,
maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and
they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals.
I thought my ex-wife was beautiful, but I only had
photographs of her on the walls.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter
Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library,
and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.