Dog letters to god  

Rdy2doit 52M
1532 posts
6/17/2006 2:36 pm
Dog letters to god

Dog letters to God:

Dear God,
How come people love to smell flowers, but seldom smell each other? Where are their priorities?

Dear God,
When we get to Heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it the same old story?

Dear God,
Excuse me, but why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not one named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We dogs love a nice ride! I know every breed cannot have its own model, but it would be easy to rename the Chrysler Eagle to the Chrysler Beagle!

Dear God,
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God,
Is it true that in Heaven, dining room tables have on-ramps?

Dear God,
If we come back as humans, is that good or bad?

Dear God,
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God,
When we get to the Pearly Gates, do we have to sit up and shake hands to get in?

Dear God,
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent IDs, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God,
Are there dogs on other planets or are we alone? I have been howling at the moon and stars for a long time, but all I ever hear back is the beagle across the street!

Dear God,
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God,
Is it true that dogs are not allowed in restaurants because we can't make up our minds what NOT to order? Or is it the carpet thing, again?

Dear God, Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember in order to be a good dog:

* I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up..
* I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
* I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box; although they are tasty, they are not food.
* The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
* The sofa is not a face towel; neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
* The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
* My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
* I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
* I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
* Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is not an acceptable way of saying 'hello.'
* I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
* I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
* I will not throw up in the car.
* I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
* I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when company comes over.
* The cat is not a squeaky toy; so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.


6/24/2006 8:01 am

I like your little dog joke. It's very cute. But are you tslking about real dogs or men

Rdy2doit 52M

6/25/2006 12:28 pm

Hmm good question, I'll think about that one.

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