yesterdays today  

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8/3/2005 3:25 am

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3/5/2006 9:27 pm

yesterdays today

Who I am today and who I was yesterday are not all that different. The more that I think about it the more I realize that I use it as an excuse to hide how I feel. Sometimes I make myself believe I am so different, although when I examine myself internally I really am the same man l in most ways.

I may have lacked many qualities in my life but I have always had self -confidence. It did not come from the way I look as most others would like to believe. It never concerned me as to what another thought about my -actions or me because I was sure of myself. If I think back, probably the most defining part of my life came when I was a so-called ‘player’. Can a man be more severely judged for anything he does short of cheating on his woman? And although now I am more aware of the sensitivities of others and their reactions to certain issues, I know that for many who know me, many who didn’t and for all who judge me I am strong and I don’t care as to what any of their opinions are.

It never bothered me if a woman approached me only for sex. I was neither flattered nor surprised. I thought along the terms of whether she was good enough for me. And even though that may be the only thing I desire from a woman I prefer the approach to be more original, more teasing.

My faults are common to my childhood days, I hate to argue unless I can see a make up after, and I hate to be bored be silly questions of where were you, why did you not call, who you with. These are the down falls of a relation-ship, they can say they have trust but they never show it.

All I need is friendship with privilege, not to say a relation-ship is not well come but must be fill with surprise and spontaneity.

This is who I am and this is who I was. Not so different and not so strange. Just me.

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