Torn between two Ozzies  

PillsburyCodeBoy 60M
479 posts
9/21/2005 7:30 am

Last Read:
3/5/2006 9:27 pm

Torn between two Ozzies

I was twelve years old at the time of Woodstock. I'm guessing there weren't a lot of twelve-year-olds at Woodstock, and probably fewer still hanging around Altamont, Haight-Ashbury, or the Fillmores East or West. In other words, I was born too late to be a hippie during their heyday. But I was entering puberty then, so I wasn't too young to remember anything. And I definitely remember soaking in some of their rhetoric and sayings:

"Make love, not war."

"Love the one you’re with."

"If it feels good, do it."

"Don’t trust anyone over thirty."

(Okay, scratch that last one. Bad example.)

The only ones I really remember all that well are the ones dealing with sex. I wonder why that is?

Despite my parents' best efforts to indoctrinate me with a code of sexual ethics and conduct that even Ozzie Nelson would have considered prudish and old-fashioned, a fair amount of Ozzy Osborne sneaked in there as well. Part of me values modesty and decorum. The other part of me wants to get naked and do it in the road, RIGHT NOW! Most days the dichotomy amuses me. Sometimes, though, it's a real struggle to know which instinct to follow.

What I'm trying to say is that I was born at just the right time to grow up torn between two generations with very conflicting ideas about sex. For those of you born about the same time, do you ever feel the conflict within you? How do you handle it?

rm_pootle47 58F

9/21/2005 1:26 pm

This past year, AdultFriendFinder virginity lost on 20th September 2004, I've been giving into my urges and doing anything I thought might be nice with the men I fancied. If I didn't enjoy anything, I did it again to make sure I was doing it right the first time, before dismissing it.

All this is done very discreetly, friends, family and the neighbours have no idea because the double standard is alive and well here. Free love is given behind closed doors.

Yes, I felt the conflict, I still do really, I've just learned, belatedly I know, but not too late, to let go of the inhibitions my parents so carefully built in and which ruined my marriage.

If the ex only knew what he missed. ;D

rm_beaujelais 59F

9/21/2005 6:18 pm

My inhibition comes more from society than my parents. Although we never spoke about sex in my house while growning up, I was never hesitant about anything sexual as a result of coming from either parent or sets of grandparents.

For now I don't know if my explorations are a result of anything physiological or psychological. But I am sure enjoying watching my inhibitions fall to the wayside.

rm_jayR63 59F
1884 posts
9/21/2005 8:04 pm

I thought only women had that problem no matter what the era.
I think they're getting over that now

PillsburyCodeBoy 60M

9/22/2005 7:05 am

jayR, a lot depends on your parents and how they deal with it. My parents were completely freaked out by the changes in sexual attitudes they saw going on around them in the late sixties and early seventies. To say they handled it by becoming close-minded and repressive would be an understatement.

I do believe there's something unique about our generation. Those before us grew up with stricter ideas about sex. Those after us grew up with freer, less repressive ideas. We got caught in the middle when the changes came down. We were, in our own way, pioneers. Funny, I don't feel like a pioneer.

PillsburyCodeBoy 60M

9/22/2005 7:06 am

beaujelais, I've heard of studies done that indicate adolescents are more influenced in their attitudes about sex (and drug use and drinking and a lot of other things) by their peers than by their parents. At the very least, that makes it a challenge to be a parent, wouldn't you say?

PillsburyCodeBoy 60M

9/22/2005 3:38 pm

pootle, your experience sounds like what I imagined when I first wrote this. Except for the ruined marriage part. Sorry you had to go through that. I'm always sorry when people have to go through the pain of divorce, even when it's the best thing for everyone.

Yes, your ex missed a lot. Exes often do. It's his loss.

UtterlyLuscious 30F

9/23/2005 5:32 pm

This whole business is made very difficult by the fact our only means of communication about is the overtones we observe.
I think in many ways its a lack of vocabulary, both personal and public. I think many of us dont know how to find the means to the sexual ends. We all know how it should *feel* but dont know how to make it feel that way. Thats not to say we arent good at communicating, many of us are, but in out external lives, theres systems set up. If you want to be a CEO, climb the company. If you want the best orgasm of your life, you can try a book, but because the individuality, and the lack of instruction and openess and education, lord knows where to start.
I think its a matter of stumbling across the right things at the right time. I dated a girl in highschool who had never had an orgasm. She would get close, and get this funny puzzled look on her face. She could physically have an orgasm, but just couldnt mentally agree to it. She said the mailman was ringing her doorbell, and she just needed to sign for the package. One day, it just clicked, and it was all downhill from there. She just needed to try all the right switches, and figure out what turned what bulb on where.
I cant help but wonder when that begins, if our lightbulbs and switches are installed at birth, or imported durring our life.
I think a large part of the reason people stumble across sexual revelations so late in life because our sexual selves lives so deep within ourselves, its hard to access it beyond just expirience, trial and error. That said, I feel iv been my same sexual self scince birth.
Anyway, point being made: theres so many selves, and degrees of understanding. The sexual Id, the sexual ego, the cultural ego. And I feel like alot gets lost in translation.

rm_pootle47 58F

9/27/2005 3:54 pm

I still have problems with allowing myself to orgasm Utterly. I'm told I hover on the doorstep but just don't seem to feel I'm worthy of going through the door. At 47 there's a lot of life and conditioning there to fight. Something made me this way, it's taking some letting go of, all this repression.

Another thought might be that I haven't found the one I'm completely happy to let go with. I tend to be drawn to insensitive control freaks which hasn't helped. Perhaps now I'm single again I'll find the one who can be bothered to look for the switches.

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